| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, i'm 23 and ever since i can remember i've always been a person who over thinks things. e.g. I always used to be paranoid about what other people thought about me, what i looked like, how i talked etc... Now that i'm older that has kind of faded away, it's still there just not as bad. Apart from that i've also been known to think the worst is going to happen for example a couple of years ago a friend was deployed and as soon as i found out i was a complete mess, i mean i was 1000% sure that they would die. They didn't and came home fine but for that entire time i was a complete mess. If i have a dream and it's about something bad happening to somebody i convince myself that it's going to happen. My question is: is there anyway i can start to think more positively about things and maybe be a bit more rational? For somebody who is only 23 i feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders and for someone so young i really don't think i should be feeling like this. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update: i was getting a bit better with regards to me worrying about something bad happenening. A few days ago i saw something on the news about someone who was deployed and it's set my right back, it's ridiculous. Since then i think i've gotten worse and i don't know how to stop this thinking.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everybody for your replies. I'd especially like to thank maverick494 for her advice as i've found it helpfull.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (13 October 2010):
 Every exercises that anyone suggests on overthinking and being more positive seem so simple, useless or cheesy... at first. But ordinary things done consistently produce extraordinary results. You wont change your line of thinking instantly, but try different exercises, see which ones work for you and implement them into every day life. It is so incredibly worth it!
I've always been an overthinker of the worst degree, but my favorite little exercise is when I notice myself thinking about anything negative, I just click my finger or snap a rubber band on my wrist and instantly force myself to think about something else. Its easier than you think. I do it at least once a day... seems silly, but it works for me :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): Sure you CAN change all these negative feelings. But first you have to be willing to make these change. I was once once that way and believe me it is a very depressing and horrible feeling. I will give you a quick guide to what you must do to make them fade away.
First, you must KNOW YOURSELF! Look deep inside of you for here lies the key to your happiness and all the positive feelings. For they don't come from the outside but from within.
Get two sheet of paper(A &B), write down everything that makes you fear, worry or over think in your OWN life experience on paper A. Then on the second sheet of paper B, write down everything that you would trade those awful feelings for. Everything you would like that will make you feel happy and positive. Write it down as a statement of fact as if you already possess these qualities. You can start by saying "I am grateful and happy now that I..."
Then burn paper A and take paper B with you always. Reminding yourself of the new you, read it out and affirm it to yourself. It works!
Other things you can do to enhance your life is by not constantly judging people or situations. NEVER blame anyone or situations for making you feeling bad even if they do. (its a hard concept but believe me everything in our life experience is as a result of our own CHOICE and decision)
Casting down negative thought, negative imaginations or negative past experience. Replacing such thoughts with happy or love thoughts. If you do get overwhelmed by these negative thoughts, you can also say out loud things like, "I feel happy" "I feel loved" "I feel good" constantly even if you don't feel them at first, and then soon those negative thoughts that leads to feeling negative will soon fade away and you then begin to vibrate positive energies and feel happy.
Also free your mind. Learn to remain still(in your mind). You can do this by taking a walk in a park, sitting by a lake, stream, river, beach or even in your room without the TV, radio or your computer on or whatever place that takes your mind away from heavy information processing.
It is essential you do this, as it is YOUR OWN life experience and no one else. If you feel pain no but you feels that pain. I know all these might sound silly to some but there is no harm in trying these few guide lines. I hope it works for you and you help others too. Good luck x
...............................
A
female
reader, tblondie1826  +, writes (12 October 2010):
I know how you feel I'm the same way. It's wrecked a lot of my relationships sadly, I'd like to see an answer too this as well.
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (12 October 2010):
I used to be kind of like you. In addition to being an overall paranoid, I had the weirdest habits. I always slept on my left side because if I didn't I was sure something bad would happen. I had rituals embedded in my routines like always drinking two glasses of water before going to school (1 and 3 would be a bad number) etc. I was also very busy thinking about what people were thinking about me and I would be very worried if someone ran late. It's really tiring to be like this.
Anyway, what I slowly did is stop caring. Just let it go piece by piece. Don't try to change it all overnight--it won't happen. You've already made progress, so think: you've come this far, you can take a few more steps.
- First you need to start liking yourself more. You need the confidence to stop caring. So write everything down that you can think of that is positive about you. Ask your friends and family too. Read it and try to realize that you've got good qualities that make you a desirable friend/girlfriend.
- Whenever you have that irrational hunch that someone is going to die, override yourself with facts. Of the deployed people the percentage that gets put in a body bag is very small and only seems big because when it DOES happen it's allover the news. Also, you've been wrong before, why would you be right now? Every 3 seconds a kid dies of malnutrition or an illness. There's only one certainty in life and that's death. We can't control it, we can only control how we choose to live our lives. Think about that when you're having these thoughts.
- Talk to people, don't keep quiet. In your mind, the smallest thing can become an entity. Voice your concerns so that your loved ones can help you put them in perspective.
-Start with setting objectives for yourself. So for example:
"today I'm going to make decisions on impulse." Then set rules, like: not thinking about it for more than one second.
Get people to keep tabs on you, like reminding you when you're thinking too long about an answer or decision.
Reward you when you feel you're making progress. Buy a new jeans, a ticket to the movies, anything to make you feel good.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): I have the same exact problem. My whole life I've been like that.
...............................
|
