A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay guys so here is MY problem, I am an extremely good looking handsome young man (mainly very cute), everyone in my life has always told me that. I also am very stylish when it comes to clothes and always maintain a good look, I am the type of guy that will make a girl in the streets look back... I am very sexually experienced, i have had sex with at least a double digit number of girls, but NEVER EVER have i had a relationship, i dont know what is my problem because im a good guy, handsome, not a player, i will give a girl my full attention. Lately i met this girl that i really could communicate with and enjoy very much, all of the girls in my past were usually one night stands, they just liked what they saw and so did i, but this new girl is much more.... she and i are very alike.So i met this 21 year old girl about 3 weeks ago in one of my classes at college and shes real pretty. The first week of class as i was exiting the building and making my way home she starting talking to me in a friendly manner about how my clothes matched hers, so we went on chatting and joking. When we finally hit the corner our conversation was over and she shook my hand, i asked her for her number and she gave it to me without hesitation. So for the next week we texted each other finding out more about each other. (*At this point im thinking if she approached me first she must be interested*)Finally when the next week of class came i asked her to meet me earlier on campus so we could chat, she agreed to it. I met her outside the building where we had class at, she seemed real friendly but also TOO friendly, i even got to sit next to her in class. We talked for a while in class etc, i made my intentions VERY clear about her that day, although she didnt say much about me. When class was over (on a thursday) i asked her politely if she would want to hang out this weekend and she agreed.To my surprise she picked me up at my house (saturday) and we went to go watch a movie. Everything was going great, here i am thinking WOW this is a beautiful girl, i cant blow this up. Once we leave the theaters, as she is driving me home she starts a very unpleasant conversation about how she could tell that i am very unexperienced ( i am 19) and how i am definetly not on her level. Now im in the car thinking what the F***? i start making it clear to her again that i do plan and being her friend but my intentions are more than just that... Then she starts telling me she doesnt feel that way about me, and talks about how all her friends are all 24-28 years of age and how they got wives and kids, and tells me about her past boyfriends that had a house and cars. Here i am sitting in her car thinking to myself i can't offer any of this to her...Once we arrive in front of my house i tell her to park the car because the conversation is getting interesting. So i ask her why did she wait until today to tell me that she just wanted to be friends, she told me because she never had the chance and that she was sorry. I kept trying to figure out why she wasnt attracted by me, she told me that i wasnt her type, physically and mentally. So i assumed im just too young or its because i dont have a job or a car. This just happened last night guys.... While we were talking in the parked car she was telling me how she could predict my actions, i asked her what do you predict and she replied : tonight you are going to think about texting me, and the next few days you are going to push yourself further and further away from me until we dont talk at ALL, i told her she was right due to the fact that i feel like a complete idiot now and i have too much pride.I dont know what to do or say when i see her next thursday in class, it will be very awkward and im into her.... im very heartbroken for some reason right now, she said i was very handsome and cute but that was just not enough, i really dont know what move to make next on this girl because a girl like this one doesnt come every day. I am tired of being single, i am tired of sluts, honestly im a big sucker for love right now. I dont know what else to do, i am depressed and i dont have any friends because i am a very lonely guy. I'm not sure if i should take her friendship because thats all she offered, that would suck, but she said its either that or nothing. So what should i do? i mean im handsome enough to find other pretty girls as i've done in the past, but this one is way way more serious, i can feel it... So can someone please help me on what i should do. =[
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depressed, heartbroken, her past, one night stand, player, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, nickdanger82 +, writes (14 October 2010):
sounds to me like she was in a bad relationship and now wants to stay in control. You have to play it one day at a time and play it close to the vest. Keep yourself availbale for what else is out there. She may come around when she sees how strong you can be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice mizz butterflies, i have considered that as an option that she might just be playing that game. I suppose i will take your advice as it seems a good way to fix this situation, i just hope youre right.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (11 October 2010):
 maybe its a trick. what i mean by that is she knows you attract many girls so she chose to act different. it worked didnt it? now ur on here seekin advice.
dont act PANICKED. when u see her in class,talk to her normally. 2 weeks later ask her if she wanna go grab a coffee. dont mention the previous talk,and if she tries to say anything cut her off. DO NOT SHOW HER YOUR INTENTIONS. now SHE will be the one to get confused. shell be like "damn he hasnt stopped talking to me.hes still polite.does he wanna be friends?or he still likes me?"
good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Be completely polite and confident, and nothing else. Don't pander to her any more than you have. If you do, she may toy with you. She made her intentions clear, albeit in a very immature, untactful way, but nonetheless, she did so, so you should accept that. Let her initiate friendship, but now that she knows you want more, it's unlikely she will initiate much. But in time, her friendship may be something worth having.
You zero'd in on a zero. She wants a cute, older sugardaddy...not a meaningful relationship. If a movie followed by a conversation where she rejects you is your idea of serious, I have to say you are fictionalizing that there is something more here. Yes, women like her DO come along every day. Good looks dont guarantee you won't have more misses than hits. This is a miss. Well played on your part, but it's just not to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks slim shady, and no, she said i was in fact very mature, So should i just ignore her?
I have never ever had a girl say something like that too me, i have until thursday to make up my mind if i will sit next to her and try to work something out or just completely get the hell away from her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Hmmm. She was VERY interested, and it fell apart on your first date. Why the sudden change? My guess is, there was something she didn't like about picking you up, seeing your place, or by her comments, something having to do with your lack of material belongings. Or, you did or said some immature stuff on the date that you'r enot telling us about.
Dude, thats bullshit. Any woman who actually said to me "you're not on my level" had better produce a resume that would make Einstein jealous or some sign that she's as good as she says or I'd toss her aside so fast she'd forget she even met me. She's totally immature. She knew your general age (youre in college), she KNEW you didn't have a solid job (you'r e in college) and she knew you didn't drive a Mercedes (she drove, and ...you're in college). So she's obviously a pretty fucked up chick who likes cute guys, but prefers materialism. You weren't her type "physically or mentally"? Bullshit...she would have never let it go that far if she wasn't attracted. She IS a slut, just a different kind. She's a slut for materialism. I'd rather a girl be a ho for my body than the cars I don't drive or house I don't have. Move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): I have been here, my friend. Earlier this year, in fact. I don't really have many friends either. The girl - who said I wasn't her type - ended up dating 2 other guys during the course of our year studying together. It was very painful at times (I was in love with her, after all). But we actually became great friends and I'm still in contact with her even though we've more or less gone our separate way, whereas her now ex-bfs are simply history.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Move on and try to work on your character a bit.
Being brutally honest, you make it very hard to sympathize with you... You were right when you said that you have too much pride- to the point where you come across as arrogant.
Not everybody is going to instantly fall head over heels for you, (shock horror!) and you'll start to find that you can't keep skating by on your looks mate. The older people get, the more they start looking for good character and personality in a potential partner.
Welcome to the real world... It appears you've arrived a tad late...
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