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... Send *rPsych a private message | | | *rPsych's profile:Hello, I am a 39 year old psychologist from Witney, UK. I am married with one little boy, and I work part-time. I have been answering questions on DearCupid for a couple of years as I think it is an important resource. |
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I think french kissing is disgusting! I need tips on ways to enjoy it more.
Q. hey im 16, kissing has always been a problem for me. everyone loves kissing (french kissing) but me! all i can think about when i kiss is that its really disgusting, and i never really enjoy it, even when i like the guy! is there any tips you can ...
A. 29 April 2006: You are not alone, I rather suspect there are more than a handful who aren't keen on it. Basically kissing is a personal thing and what you decide to do to express your feelings is up to you. However, kissing is also an art that has to be ... (read in full...)
Do I lose the weight to make myself feel better, is it all in my mind?
Q. I feel like I'm being pressured into losing weight. I've always had a thing about my weight, from being bullied about my weight throughout my childhood, but truth be told, I'm not fat, and I'm not thin, but yet I feel like I have to lose weight or ...
A. 29 April 2006: Only you can decide if you need to lose weight or not, but don't be pressured by other people. Check your BMI. Having a boyfriend should not be about being fat. At the end of the day you should want someone to like you for you, not your waist line. ... (read in full...)
I just want a life like everybody else but i feel so alone due to my weight!
Q. hi, Im at such a loose end. This is going to be very long but i really need some help, i just don't know what 2 do anymore. Im 15 years old and i have topped the scales at 19.6 stones. Im so worried i don't want to reach 20 stones, its so embarras...
A. 29 April 2006: You get a big hug from me. I am so sorry to hear that your Mum has passed away, and that sure cannot help you in addressing your weight difficulties. I am not going to lecture you about your weight as I am sure you have had quite enough of that! ... (read in full...)
Why can't I find girlfriend? I'm pretty good-looking so what's the problem?
Q. Hi, I am 19 years old and just graduated from high school. I am skinny and pretty good looking, but all of my life I have not really had any friends or girlfriends. I don't know what my problem is. I don't know why I can't find any friends or ...
A. 29 April 2006: It can be hard to be social, especially if you live in a big city where everyone just seems to rush on by. Confidence is probably part of your problem and that may change with age. But for now, you could seek out friends and girlfriends through ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right move with confused partner?
Q. k so here it is....my sons father fell in love with me while he was with his fiance that he's been with for 3 yrs. i ignoreded him for about a week and a half cuz i wasn't gonna be a third party so he left her, cuz he couldn't stop thinking about ...
A. 28 April 2006: Absolutely you have to draw the line! Give the man a chance to get his act together as it all sounds like a traumatic couple of weeks, but make sure you don't get caught up in a love triangle. Approach him with caution if he is feeling mixed ... (read in full...)
I found out my daughter has been having sex since she was 11 !
Q. Iam worried about my 14 year old daughter Iam starting to think she maybe a nymphomaniac. I didnt know until recently that she was no longer virgin well after talking with her I now know that she is having sex everyday with her 18 year old boyfrien...
A. 28 April 2006: Nymphomania is very rare as a clinical disorder. At first glance this would seem like a girl with poor self esteem who gets attention from sexual interaction with men (and she could be exaggerating her sex life trying to shock you). Of course ... (read in full...)
How do you know a boy likes you?
Q. how do you know a boy likes you?...
A. 28 April 2006: Body language...fidgetting, awkwardness around you, making excuses to be with you, eyes dilating when talking to you (pupils go wide when they like you), sometimes people point their feet at the person they fancy...... (read in full...)
He cheated but says he loves me and I am so confused!!
Q. By the things i have wrote on here it doesnt sound like i have much of a relationship or a guy worth keeping ... but anyways ... my guy that i have been with for a year and sum months ... we were having some problems ... and things like he didnt ...
A. 28 April 2006: I know you are probably hurting at his betrayal but the fact he was drunk when he cheated is not an excuse...it is easy to hide behind alcohol. Basically you have got to ask yourself if you can trust him and will you be worrying if you rekindle the ... (read in full...)
Will my ex go back out with me??
Q. ello ppl, i am 15 and i went out wiv this boy for 2 months but he dumped me a month ago cos it didnt work out cos we never really saw eachother very much... i agree - things weren't working. but i still like him... do u think he would go out wiv me ...
A. 28 April 2006: If it didn't work out the first time, there is probably a reason for that. Both people have to want the relationship to work out and have to make a big effort to keep in touch, make time for each other and talk etc. I know that you like him, but ... (read in full...)
We broke up and he tells me I am too large for sex. Should I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend and I just broke up.. It's kinda a long story so I won't get into it. Part of our problem was sexual. He started by saying that I am super hot..the hottest girl he has ever been with. He would watch me in the shower, masterbate while ...
A. 28 April 2006: As a clinical psychologist, I would say the man needs therapy! As for your insides...every lady is different in shapes and sizes. Don't be paranoid about your size as most men wouldn't worry about that. It sounds like he has huge psychological ... (read in full...)
He don't ever say his emotions and don't listen to mine...
Q. i ave been with my boyfriend for a long time but he never tells me how he feels and doesnt listen to how i feel which causes us to argue what should i do?...
A. 27 April 2006: Some people just cannot express their emotions...I show mine through gifts, cooking etc to my husband as I hate saying I love you and bottle up problems...some people are terrible listeners too. Why not write him a letter telling him how you feel, ... (read in full...)
All guys use me and I don't know if I should hate my ex, or get over it...
Q. I am female + 20 years old and I have "dated" guys since I was about 16. My question is, how do I stop being used by guys? This makes me sound like a slut, but I am not. I was a virgin until I was 18, met a guy I fell in love with (let's call him ...
A. 27 April 2006: Sorry you have been hurt like this, but it happens to the best of us. Don't be friends with him because you need a break from this guy to get over what has happened. Unfortunately many young men want to 'hit and run' in their teens and 20's but ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't really love her, why is he with her?
Q. I'm involved with a man that has 2 of us on the go! He is 36 I am 40 the other woman is 58, yes 58! He met me 4 months ago 5 weeks after his 9 year relationship with her ended,she ended it. Everything between him and I was totally fine untill she ...
A. 27 April 2006: Good grief...talk about having your cake and eating it; he has nothing to lose from having the two women on the go at once, but you have pride and dignity to lose so run away from this one. Why put up with a man treating you badly? No one knows how ... (read in full...)
Has my long distance relationship any hope?
Q. my fam and i had a vacation in baguio. imet this guy andended up having a long distance relationship with him. am i just wasting my time? it seems that he doesn'thave any plans of us being together....
A. 27 April 2006: I can tell you from experience that long distance relationships can work out for the best but you both have to try really hard to keep it bobbing along. I married my long distance BF and he had to move country to live with me...not to mention the ... (read in full...)
Should I see my doctor about vaginal fluid?
Q. Hello Well I'm 13 14 in 2 weeks well i have been gettin discharge a really creamy white one when ive just cum off my period its not as bad but a week after me coming off my period it cums back like loadz it fills the crutch of my thong id this str...
A. 27 April 2006: Some discharge is ok, but if it is accompanied by other symptoms such as a rash, itching etc then you need to see a doctor as you may have thrush or some vaginal bacterial infection that can be easily sorted out with treatment. Although you maybe ... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a much older man. What should I do?
Q. Recently I found out that my 15-year-old daughter is is dating a 46-year-old man. She's not planning to marry him or anything; just dating him. However, the 31-year age gap makes me shiver; I fear that this guy is up to no good. How do I bro...
A. 27 April 2006: I am in an age-gap marriage of 11 years (he is younger). However, we are both adults in the eyes of the law, and both mature enough to have a significant amount in common. There is no reason to worry about him being 31 years her senior...there is a ... (read in full...)
I like this girl at work, what should I do about it?
Q. I really fancy a girl at work. I have made a point of being friendly, without making it too obvious that I like her. Thing is I'm real shy, and I think she likes me, but not too sure! Mind you she does blush a bit sometimes when I talk to her. I ...
A. 27 April 2006: Rather than jump right in there, why not try a more subtle approach since this is your workplace (and if it goes wrong remember you have to see her again). Why not invite her to lunch to chat about some work-related issue...go outside the work ... (read in full...)
She said she loved me, but now she says I smother her. What should I do?
Q. My g/f and I have been together for 3 months and she is going through a divorce and has some pretty heavy worries going on right now. I certain that we have a good bond between us and she told me only a couple of days ago that she loved me and tha...
A. 27 April 2006: Step back and give this lady some space to sort out her life. I have a friend in the same situation and he gave his girlfriend time to deal with the custody of the kids, legal fights over property etc. Divorce is very stressful sometimes, and it ... (read in full...)
How do I ask this (married) guy for his number?
Q. i work at a place that has a truck come deliever stuff to us once a week. im very attracted to this guy. but i found out that he won't be delivering anymore after next week. i want to ask him for his number but im way to shy and scared of what he ...
A. 27 April 2006: Not a good idea to get involved in someone's marriage. If he says yes you would just be a fling or bit on the side, if he says no to a date then it would be utterly embarrassing to see him again in the workplace. Plenty of men out there...... (read in full...)
Is this guy worth it??
Q. Qestion is simple, just gave background info, sorry if too long, but I really like this guy and want to give info that could explain us better. Should I forget about having a relationship with this guy? And here is the background... M...
A. 27 April 2006: If a man wants to see you, he will make time. Given what you have written, it seems the man maybe seeing lots of ladies from the internet...seems he got caught red handed. His behaviour towards the other girl in the office should be an alarm bell ... (read in full...)
Our big problems have led to a 'break' but I dont want to lose her!!
Q. Me and my girlfrined have been 2gether for nearly 3 years we have had are ups and downs but laitly we have had little problems that have turned into big problems know she wants a break from me i wanted one to but know i regret it deeply i know its ...
A. 27 April 2006: However painful, you cannot control your girlfriend or speculate what she might do when she is out with her mates. Ultimately if someone wants to cheat they will find a way - whether with you or on a break. Try to figure out what is wrong with ... (read in full...)
She miscarried and we broke up and now shes sleeping with my friend!!
Q. A year ago, we lost a child. She lied to me about the date that she lost the child and rarely discusses the "miscarriage". She insisted I leave the house and not be arround her during the time she lost the child in fact we broke up. A month later ...
A. 27 April 2006: There is no way of knowing if she had an abortion or a miscarriage, but miscarriages are very common in early pregnancy. Some women are devastated by the loss, while others recover quickly. You say she is now pregnant again (and I am presuming you ... (read in full...)
He's in jail because of me, but now I miss him!
Q. I am in a relationship that has lasted four years. my partner has been abusing me starting four months into the relationship. we have a two year old child. my partner has an alcohol addiction. I have had a restraining order since I was pregnant. ...
A. 27 April 2006: I agree with the others, but also think it is worth pointing out that it is not just you who is at risk from this man. You have responsibility for a child now, and even if he is not physically abusive to his baby...as a parent you have a ... (read in full...)
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