A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I havn't been on here for a while, but I could really do with some opinions on what to do here.So here's the thing, I've been with my boyfriend for 1year 10months now, he's sixteen and i'm sixteen in February, we've been completley fine for so long, we've had barely any rows in so long, i mean we have our niggles but nothing major. Last january I found out he kissed a girl in his year, he knows how I felt about her and obviously still do, we broke up for a few days, but everntually we managed to work things out. It was a messy job which involved alot of mess through my family too. Sinse then, we've been amazing and he hasn't taken me for granted one second as he knows that I'm serious and won't be walked over.Anyways, ironically, a couple of days to the year, I found out today that one new years eve he kissed a different girl for literally a couple of seconds, he didn't remember and I found out from a rumour around school which isn't exactly a great way to find out. He didn't know he did it as he was drunk at the time (no excuse) I spent the next day with him and he would of mentioned it if he knew yet he had to call someone today to find out. So basically, I don't know what the hell do do, I don't know if it's worth splitting up over as we've been togather so long and up untill today we were absolutley great, yet I don't want to be laughed about and be a complete push over.I'm sorry for the long explanation, it feels good to get it off my chest a little even though it is a little more complecated than how it seems.So if anyone actually reads this and would like to give me some advice other than "get rid of him, there's plenty more fish in the sea" then I would be really appriciative.Thank you x
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Well OK first and foremost you need to define actually cheating?
You say that he kissed a girl before but nothing more than that, was that all it was or was it sex as well?
Now you say through hear say you heard that your bf kissed a girl some time ago on a new year's eve, were you actually together at the time or is it someone who is just trying to stir things up for you again so that they split you up. Could it be the girl who he did kiss that you don't like.
It just seems to be a little weird that it happens almost a year to the day of the last kiss, bit coincidental to my mind.
At the end of the day relationships are about trust and if you feel you can't trust him completely then you need to be open and honest with him and tell him you cannot continue to be in a relationship with someone who you fear will stray at any time and leave your heartbroken.
However, as it has been hear say this time, perhaps you need to discuss it openly with your bf to at least get the trust from him.
Maybe having this relationship at this age is just too much for you right now and maybe it is confusing you with everything you want to do with your future. You don't have to be tied down to someone right now, you do need to consider your future at the end of the day.
BFN
Country Woman
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Hi. You dont say what New Years Eve he kissed another girl. As he was drunk and it was sometime ago i would let it go. Just dont let him drink too much if he does things he cant remember! You both sound happy and have been together quite a while now. So if everything else is ok and you dont want anymore family drama over this too, just drop it. Hmm. But you can now have two kisses with other guys! He owes you that lol. Let him know and see how it makes him feel. Im sure he will hate the thought and behave much better if he knows you are keeping score and might act on it. I started a `do it and i will too` project with my bf after he didnt behave very well. Hes been great ever since lol. Happy New Year x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
He's done it twice now, and 'I can't remember' is subtext for 'I can, but would rather lie'. How long until he does it again? And again? I know you don't want to here 'get rid of him', but that's exactly what I think you should do. Because the fact is there are better guys. You forgave him once, which shows you're a lovely girl. Don't forgive him twice. Or there will be a third time, a fourth time and so on. And you'll only get hurt. You have to be tough. You're a great girl, and you deserve a great guy. Don't settle for a second rate cheater.
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