A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,My ex boyfriend is a very confused man. Well we have been broken up for 8 months now and honestly our relationship was great. I do think he got scared of how fast things were moving. It was a very passionate relationship. Since we broke up he went back to his ex. He didnt tell me about it and we would still see each other sometimes. Then we stopped talking because there was too much chemistry between us still and it was not fair to me or his new gf. I am very confused with him. We stopped talking completely for a couple months and rescently went to lunch which was a mistake. Anyway, the same chesmistry was still there, and he did tell me many times that he doesnt share a passion like that with his gf that we once had, but that he really is trying to work it out with her anyway. I told him great because I didnt want this anymore anyway(I was finally starting to move on) Anyway chesmistry was crazy, but we didnt do anything--it was friendly meeting. He did tell me that he was going to think about me later... I just think its strange that he has a gf he wants to work it out with but wants to fantasize about me. Since that meet, he has texted me twice to tell me he fantasized about me basically. I just dont get him. He really hurt me when we broke up because we were great together. We care about each other still as friends. But why is he telling me these things?
View related questions:
broke up, his ex, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 Both CaringGuy and LazyGuy have given you extremely good sound advice.
This guy is a player and he sounds completely immature as well.
The whole fantasy thing is what gets him off and no one should be used in any way.
Do yourself a favour and let him know in no uncertain terms that whilst you still care for him as an EX, he hurt you way too much for you to consider him a TRUE friend.
Even friend's don't treat each other in this way and he wants what he can't have and when he does eventually get it i.e. to win back his ex, he then wants again what he can't have i.e. YOU, his latest ex, he is a game player and will continue to be one so long as he can get away with it.
You deserve someone who puts YOU first and doesn't let you know he is going away to fantasize about you and we all know what that means.
If your relationship was SO fantastic with him, WHY did it end?
Yes maybe the sex was great but you don't actually know whether he was just talking to his ex when he was with you/prior to breaking up with you or IF he was actually having sex with her at the same time.
Don't be anyone's second choice or mistake, you are a strong, young independent woman who can make her own choices in life and whilst he can get away with playing you off against his gf, he will continue to do so.
It is never easy to be the strong one but you owe it to yourself to stay strong and make sure he doesn't hurt you again.
Bet there is a guy out there who wouldn't treat you in this way and would put you first for a change.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
x
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 He cares about you... that is why he is with another woman and then contacts you and messes with your heart.
Do yourself a favor. Move on.
He has dumped you for his ex and now he is talking yet again to you behind her back.
Take the hint, this guy is a flake who doesn't know what he wants. Even if two end up together again, he will still not know what he wants and constantly be looking for someone even more perfect.
In fact I think it is a safe bet that he was talking the same talk to his EX when he was dating YOU.
Move on, because right now he is playing you like a puppet.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 December 2009):
You are right. He is confused. And that's why you need to be brave and cut contact. He left his ex, then came to you, then left you for his ex. That means he doesn't love either of you enough to be with you. The best thing you can do is move on. You don't want to be used or dangled on a string. You're not a toy. You need to move on, or he will continue to move between you and her and you'll never be happy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Trust me, I have the same thing going on, except I broke it off with him. He probably just wants you to reciprocate, maybe he knows he made a mistake by throwing such a great thing you 2 had away, and he just wants to be told by you that he's still wanted. Or maybe he just wants to have his cake and eat it to. Either way, you need to let him know you dont think its fair to you or the new gf for him to behave like this. :)
...............................
|
