A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and I want to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend for a late Christmas present. I know where everything goes and the mechanics of it, but how do I go about beginning it, making myself horny so that I feel less self-conscious and I can enjoy it more?
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male
reader, mp3skull  +, writes (24 December 2009):
it may seem like a good present but it can be both painful and awkward so it is up to you i would have to say
A
female
reader, tpf5023 +, writes (21 December 2009):
You probably do not agree with what everyone has been saying and I can understand where your coming from! You probably feel like all of these people don't understand you, and you probably really think this guy is in love with you. Hey, maybe he even is! BUT, the chances are these people are right and they DO understand you because we have all been there before. It is good that you were smart enough to go looking for some sort of information beforehand, now just be smart enough to not do this. You will NOT be getting married to this guy, and most likely will not even know who he is in one year. Your life moves very fast as a teenager, but you don't have to move fast with things like sex! Don't do it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Please DO NOT have sex at your age!!
I had sex last year, when I was 14, believe me it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
It didn't feel special, or even that nice because I wasn't even remotley in love with the guy.
I felt the same as you probably do now. I wanted to know what sex felt like, I wanted to be an adult.
But I just felt dirty and ashamed of myself afterwards.
I regret having sex so much, because now I've lost my virginity, I'm never going to get the chance to loose it again, when I'm mature and responible enough to feel good about it.
I know it seems like a good idea now, but take it from someone who knows, you will seriously regret doing it.
Please take my advice hun,
Cassidy x
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 Sweetheart it isn't about a race you know or saying here's a LATE CHRISTMAS present - MY VIRGINITY.
It is way too precious to just give it away to a bf who really won't care when you give it to him, he has either had it before with someone else or is just so full of hormones that the whole experience could end up being a huge mistake for you that you cannot get back once the deed is done.
I didn't have sex until I was 20 and I didn't think - ooh I must have sex when I was younger, I waited until I met someone who I trusted not to hurt me in any way and would be gentle with me and also I didn't just say - here goes. I waited a while with him before we actually had sex.
The first experience of sex is not about angels weeping and lovely glowing feeling. It hurts sometimes but when you are talking about a teenage BOY and not a man, he is inexperienced as well and will not be gentle, he hasn't learnt that yet.
Wait until you know for sure that you truly love the person you are with and you feel like the relationship is going somewhere.
The fact that you are questioning it right now tells us all that you are not ready to take such a massive step.
Just because some of your friend's may have already done it does not mean you need to prove anything to them or anyone else. If your bf is pressing you to do it then he really isn't worth it either.
Talk to an adult who you are close to, if that is your mum ask her about her own sexual past and talk openly and honestly with her. If you are not close to her then maybe an aunt or someone you can trust who is an adult and that could be a cousin or someone who is close to your mum maybe.
I am soooooo glad I waited, a lot of my friend's and even my sister had sex at an earlier age and I know for a fact now that they wished they had waited and even though they can chalk up several notches on their bed posts, they are not proud of the fact, I have been with one man in my life so far and I was with him for almost 20 years. We have a gorgeous 8 year old daughter from that relationship and when she was conceived she was very much planned and wanted.
I know I will be at least one or maybe two more men in my life but I don't have to have a string of men to have sex with to prove to myself that I am mature and a woman.
Do consider what you finally think you want to happen in your life and maybe then you will decide when the time is right to lose your virginity. It is priceless and so don't just GIVE it away to any Tom, Dick or Harry OK.
Keep us posted and whilst we all may say - don't do it - this is because we all care and so if you still want to ask us anything, please message us again. We are not getting angry in any way but we know from our own experiences how things can affect someone if they rush into something OK.
Take care sweetheart and do talk to someone close to you as well.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (20 December 2009):
 If it's the right time and the right relationship, you won't have to worry about feeling self-conscious. The fact that you have these concerns should be telling you something about how good an idea this is. There's no hurry, you know. There will still be boys in two or three years.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (20 December 2009):
 I wont say dont have sex im just gonna say its a dumb idea. Maybe you should learn the mechanics of chilbirth or how to get rid of chlamydia. The reason i say this is because you may feel your old enough and ready to have sex but your 14 anything that happens to you falls in your parents lap crap rolls down hill or up hill. You cant take your self to a doctor you cant legally have sex. so before you do what your gonna do regardless of what any one says think about the consequences. and as for your question when your ready to have sex you wont have to ask. have a nice christmas
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Don't do it. Having sex for the first time is not about Christmas or presents.
You are physically and emotionally too young to be having sex, and it kind of seems stupid don't you think? You haven't a clue about it? Have you taken the steps to really prepare for sex? It is not about the questions you are asking here.
It is about getting on birth control pills to keep pregnancy from happening (and I believe legally you are too young to get those are you not?) it is about using condoms to protect against STD's and it is about being both emotionally and even financially ready to deal with the consequences of having sex.
You will regret losing your virginity at 14 to a boyfriend that you will unlikely be with for very long, and who may actually freak out or lose respect for you immediately after the deed because teen age boys are full of hormones and they want to get sexual experience, but they don't respect the girls who let them have their way.
Some day when you are old enough and really fall in love and are ready to be married, your husband may have a difficult time respecting you, too. He will wonder why you would want to give your most intimate precious gift away as a Christmas present....when he is asking you for a lifetime committment, not to "celebrate" a holiday.
Please talk this over with your mother before doing anything like this.
You also put yourself at an increased risk (simply because of your young age) for contracting the HPV virus which can lead to cervical CANCER. Condoms DO NOT PROTECT AGAINST HPV.
There is a lot more to sex than just doing it.
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