A
male
age
36-40,
*irgibbs21
writes:ok im 21 and my gf is 20 and we have been dating for 4 years in the past two years we have had two kids both babies stil every thing was goin good until about 2 monts ago she went to a holloween party with some guys from work now i dont want to belive she is cheating but its in the back of my head because now almost every weekend she is goin out and lying to me about it saying she is going to her moms and is out with those guys even tho she says their just friends i have a bad feeling any advice
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Hi
The fact that you know for certain that she is telling you lies means that you cannot leave this any more.
You need to confront her and ask her why she thinks that by telling you a pack of lies that this is acceptable, it isn't.
You have 2 young children together and for no other reason than to make sure you are putting their needs first, you need to resolve this.
Maybe she feels extremely tied down and if she is the one doing all the mothering and looking after the children, the one time she went out she felt a certain freedom and she is constantly trying to recapture that but cannot admit it to you or herself in a sense.
Has she ever suffered with any form of postnatal depression at all?
You are still both very young to have such a large commitment in your lives but you need to get to the truth and maybe having some alone time without the babies for even one night may allow you to talk without them hearing any upset or shouting if it reaches that sort of pitch.
I think you have probably both been so busy being parents that you have forgotten that you both still young and need to also still have excitement in your lives and the fun factor. I know there are always restrictions when you are parents and if she is struggling in any way then you need to be able to help her find a good balance.
Letting parents help out with a bit of babysitting every so often is not a crime or help around the home, so that it isn't falling to one person, sharing the load so to speak.
Let us know a bit more info and I am sure you will get a few more insightful comments OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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