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Girl I slept with is pregnant and I'm wondering do I contact her?

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Question - (4 January 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

While very intoxicated over the summer, I had sex with this girl from my hometown (who i came to find out is quite premiscuous). On top of that, I don't remember using a condom. The other day my friend tells me that this girl has been sending ultrasounds to her ex boyfriend. She's apparently 4 months pregnant and doesn't know who the father is. I know that I'm one of at least several men she slept with around that time, but I'm still sweating this out. I never speak to this girl at all and she hasn't contacted me. Do I call her and ask her about all of this? PLEASE HELP

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2010):

Country Woman agony auntI think you have basically had very sound advice from both CaringGuy and Angzw as this girl could latch onto anyone who has slept with her and milk them for all their worth.

I would definitely want a full DNA test if she says the baby could be yours but it is something that is very dangerous to do before the birth.

I would also go and get yourself checked out at the doctor as well to make sure you didn't pick up anything when you slept with this girl. Hidden conditions can go undetected for some time and if you continue to have unprotected sex with anyone you could be passing something on to others as well. I think this has taught you a very harsh lesson about having unprotected sex though.

ALWAYS use a condom and to a certain degree you knew what you were letting yourself in for when you slept with this girl as you knew what her reputation was.

Take it one day at a time and remember to get yourself checked out first before you start talking to this girl. Also confirm your blood group as well as I think that can also determine parental groups etc. Just something I heard once I believe. More based on rare blood groups though so find out what yours is OK for your own peace of mind.

BFN

Country Woman

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (4 January 2010):

Yes, maybe you can just contact her to tell her that you heard she was preg and you are wondering how she is. If she confirms then just congratulate her and ask who is the father. Do not ask "am I the father" because if she is as promiscuous as you allege then she may just latch onto you, take you on an emotional roller coaster for 9 months only for you to discover its not yours after falling in love with and holding the baby. Just check up on her and if she names a father let it go. If she doesnt know, let it go for now to let her sort through her issues then closer to the birth contact her again and let her know you want to know if its yours. Don't offer to be the father in case another man comes and fights for it. Wait till the end then do the right thing.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2010):

If it makes you feel better, which it might, then yes, call her. If she suggests you are the father though, insist on a DNA test. Better to know now whether you might be the father or not, than sweat it out. But do make sure it is yours when it comes along, using DNA.

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