A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I currently live with my ex bf we have in his eyes been broken up for about 5 months. He has for the most part treated me like crap but sometimes is nice and says he loves me other times he says I don't want to be with you I'm just tolerating you. He has made me feel like dirt. I go out of my way to make things better but I always fail everything I seem to do is wrong. I feel like he hates me and is taking advantage of my love for him.I guess my question is does he love me or really dislike me.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (7 January 2010):
 So, as long as I love you, it is okay to treat you like crap? That is what you are asking after all.
If you were being thrown of a bridge by someone who loves you, you would be okay with that, but if someone who hates you tries to grab your hand to stop you falling to your death, you would resist?
Your reasoning behind the question you ask is wrong.
Do not stay with someone who makes you feel like dirt.
Even if you screw up everything on your own, then at least it is your own screw-ups. Right now, even if you do everything right, he will still be there to make you feel bad.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): This man is like a bad roller coaster ride; most of the time he is rough and scary, riding along small humps. At one point of the ride you come to that uncertain incline when things look like there going to get better. You reach the top! It feels good! And then ...! It's over!Take a good look at this ride, read your post. Do you want to ride on something that makes you feel like dirt? Or do you want to ride with someone that makes you feel like the woman you truly are.Listen to "Country Woman" and focus on yourself. I think your question should be, "how do I leave this man and get on with my life"? - This won't be easy because he is going to react but I am sure there will be many here to support you with this.Good luck!Tony
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): Why are you still living with him??? Move out ASAP!! Even if you have to move back in with your mum! Is there a reason why you are still living with him? Seriously he sounds like a jerk.. Move out and move on!
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (7 January 2010):
 You guys have broken up 5 months ago! Give yourself the last bit of dignity you have and get out of there now. [THIS WEEKEND].
Move on and be happy with someone else who you deserve and deserves you because he's obviously causing you great stress and only wants you for the sex when it comes around. he seriously has a bad up bringing like a bad habit and lacks etiquette.
Move on, I know it hurts but in time you will feel really great and happy again.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 January 2010):
He doesn't love you. He's using you because you're allowing him to. A man who says he loves you but treats you like dirt doesn't love you. You need to move out and move on with your life. Don't wait for him to change. He won't.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (7 January 2010):
 Sweetheart at the end of the day why are sticking around when someone has told you that he feels like you have been broken up for the last 5 months.
What are you hoping to change?
You say in the first line of your question that he is your EX bf so you already consider him in this way.
Why tolerate any sort of abuse, let alone the verbal kind, he may have his nice moments but if he isn't your bf why put up with it.
There are plenty of other guys out there who would not treat you this way, so why stay for him to just put you down and treat you like a doormat.
He sounds like he is trying to do everything to push you away but maybe make you do the final push into splitting you up as he is not MAN enough to do it himself. Maybe he has started to see someone else and is just playing you both.
If someone made me feel like dirt, I would not allow it to continue.
Value YOURSELF more than the way he is and stand up and decide what YOU want out of life.
You are no longer a child and life is for living not just surviving.
So take a long look in the mirror and find your inner strength and take a stand against being treated like a second class citizen.
He doesn't deserve your love and there is others out there who would not treat you in this way.
We get one chance at life and what is the point in living in a bad situation which makes you feel like crap.
Don't rush into a new relationship though, find yourself again, the independent woman you once were and do the things you enjoy doing.
Make some plans like going out with your gf's and also maybe look forward to something like a holiday or short break away somewhere where you can pamper yourself, you deserve it.
If you are doing everything you can to make things right but it just isn't good enough, he has already mentally ended things so why are you sticking around hoping that things will change, they won't in his eyes and it is time for you to dedicate some of that love onto yourself as you NEED it right now and he doesn't.
Do you still live under the same roof together or do you live separately?
If you do live together, then consider how you can get out of this situation as you need to make the break and it is now 2010 and it is YOUR year OK.
Keep us posted and stay strong and tell yourself you deserve better than this man. You owe it to yourself to make the change and make the stand.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): Why are you still living with him if he thinks you are no longer together?
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