A
male
age
41-50,
*herjt80
writes:I've Been with my girlfriend for almost 10 years. We've had our ups and downs are best friends... recently a lot of the little things she does bothers me. And they're begining to urk me more and more to the point where it turns me off. Why is this happening ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): It happens meany times in relashionships but you need to hang in there and try to fined away to make things new and exciteing. apart of being in love is holding on even tigher when it feels like theres no hope left. just stick around. maybe take a vacashion alone just to get some time apart. im not saying go out ge drunk and flert with a bunch of other girls but just spend a week without her a lot of times that helps too. Try and trust me here if you leave her you will fined yourself missing her and wanting her back but by then chances are it will be to late.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): I bet you spend too much time with her. I get this way with girlfriends. You should tell her how you feel. Suggest that you see each other less often to keep your relationship feeling fresh. It reminds me of the saying; too much of a good thing... Spend time away with friends and family, that way you actually have a chance to miss her and her quirks (everyone has them.) Who knows, maybe she is secretly feeling the same way you are.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Personally I think you no longer have the rose tinted glasses on and when we get into the mundane routine of a relationship the spark sometimes disappears.
How do you know that you don't annoy your gf to?
Maybe sitting down and chatting would be a good way to start.
Do you have any spontaneity in your relationship any more?
Do you have fun and laughter?
If you can answer no to any of the above, then you either need to be honest with each other and talk it through or consider the fact that you no longer love one another.
You could also think about some sort of counselling together i.e. couple counselling, in this way you may be able to iron out any problems you have and by having an unbiased person in the room with you, things could be rationalised.
If you walk away without finding out how each of you feel, you will only take the issues you have now into a new relationship and that is no good for anyone. You need to have an emotional clear out as such and you can also feel that you have tried everything to make the relationship work by trying some counselling, it could surprise you and you may find out that by the fact that neither one of you are being open and honest with one another the little annoying habits are just that and nothing more.
If you can find out whether there is still love in this relationship then it can possibly be rebuilt but it takes hard work and determination and wanting to actually be with that person.
You will not discover that unless you do something about it now.
Do you have any children together?
Don't leave this to fester, as it will end up making you bitter so act now before it is too late and you will either find out that you are meant to be together or not as the case may be. I am not saying you will need hundreds of counselling sessions but to even try one or two, may make the difference you are looking for.
Worth a shot anyway after 10 years together, you owe it to yourselves to at least give it a try.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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