A
male
age
30-35,
*211
writes:im 20 yrs old and im wondering if am i gay??? because i just lost my virginity to a girl complete stranger i dont know i just met her and did it. i thought the sex was gonna be real good cause its my first time but it wasnt hers and it was good but not how i imagined it or seen it in movies u know. now im thinking if im gay cause i always liked girls and had sexual thoughts with them when i was virgin and i want to do it again but not with her, i not an urge to do it many of guy friends say that i need to do it wit a girl i really like and then ill love it.i never had an attraction to guys at all and i still dont. i have co workers that are gay and just talk crap saying u look nice and saying stuff like that they play around and i dont like it i get goose bumps just hearing that stuff like noooo but for some reason im doubting myself and i think is because my first time wasnt good and i have dis girl i really love and she has my heart i want to be with her for the rest of my life but this doubt is interfering with it sometimes i see her and we sleep together u know i wana hug her kiss her just touch her but i dont know why i have this doubt and is killing me and it just came out of nowhere i need help
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male
reader, Ganymedes +, writes (17 January 2010):
Would like to point out it's possible to go through puberty watching and masturbating to straight porn and being aroused when a girl touches you. I did and yet, I'm gay. I just was in denial and never considered the alternative, so girls seemed fabulous and attractive to me. I had nothing to compare to. Once I started exploring, my attraction to men made whatever I felt towards women seem insignificant. But hey, they do call it a sexual preference, not a sexual absolute.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): Well, you're not gay. At least form what your little piece said. I guess, I cannot know for sure, no one can, not even you, despite what people want us to thing, we can never be 100% sure that out feelings will not change.
I have to say that, obviously you had high expectations of sex, and of course what you experienced did not live up to that standard.
Practise more. Get better at it. Try different things, until you find something sexually satisfying...
There ya go.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 January 2010):
Hey, you masturbated into a woman's vagina and it wasn't as good as what somebody's fictional fantasy made you think it would be.
You didn't really have sex - you certainly didn't make love - and I suggest you need to turn off the porn flicks, toss out the cock novels, and try meeting meeting REAL people you can connect with.
The most important organ for sexual pleasure is located between the ears. (I'm told that good hookers and call girls learn how to get into a guy's mind, even though it's not sincere, before the guy gets into their body.) Unless there's a connection in your head before you connect with your bodies, you might as well be having sex with a knot-hole in the fence.
And I SERIOUSLY doubt that you're gay. Anybody who suggested that to you based on this one experience is full of crap.
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A
male
reader, 1211 +, writes (5 January 2010):
1211 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have never had dis doubt or any thought of me being gay i lost my virginity like two weeks ago and like i said it felt good u know wen i came but its like i didnt like it as much as i thought it would be.. now im having doubts if i like girls and all dis stuff that goes thru my head and is killing me inside cause i know im not gay i always crushed on girls had sexual feelings towards dem and now dat dis happened is giving me a doubt i never looked at a guy the wrong way for me too feel something towards dem so wat the hell is going on was it the sex i had for the first time
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 FIRST TIME SEX MUST BE BAD...BUT LAST TIME CAN ALSO BE WORST...READ... HOW? WHY?
Greatness about sex is only "foreplay". Not sex - means intercourse. And, foreplay cannot perform with the person whom you do not love.
The people, mostly married people, never feel sex as great in their marriage relation, they generally go for intercourse, and not for foreplay. If married people felt it as great, then pornographer could not have build such a big business. There are lot of complaining wife all over the world, that husband are watching porn secretly. why? why they go for unreal, for vulgar, and for non-sense? Because, they never search for greatness of sex in their wife's body. And, wife herself is unaware of the secret her own body possess.
Female body possess all secret of foreplay, that is required to be learned by male and female also. This one is the only secret of sex, that sex is great, or heaven, or what ever adjective one may choose to put.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): i didnt like my first time either.
Myne was with my first gf, we had dated bout a month. She had been with a prevous bf so knew all about sex.
We always played around masturbating eachother, until she came (i never did), so one day in her room i asked her to do it. It was over in about 5 mins, we kept almost all our clothes on she just sat on me until i came (still have no idea how that worked)
I was sad about it too, it wasnt special at all, and i wondered what the big deal was.
Bout a week later i brought her back to my house, no one was home and we started on eachother. We were naked and spent alot of time kissing and cuddling not to mention i got to be ontop for a while. It was great and very loving.
So my point is that what happened to you is normal and not a big deal. Meet someone special, get to know her and let nature take its course. Forget casual for awhile ok
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A
male
reader, 1211 +, writes (5 January 2010):
1211 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the first three answers im feeling better ... cause i always like girls and i always liked watching straight porn and i always masturbated towards girls but since dis doubt dumb stuff run through my head dat i dnt want cause i dnt like it i think its nasty (no offense) i just have dat doubt dat i have .. i get aroused wen my girl touches me and even wen she just gets close to me i get an erection so i dnt know why i have dis doubt and its really interfering wit
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Personally I think you felt such a let down with the fact that it was just sex and not truly making love which is so much more fulfilling as it is normally with someone you love or care deeply for.
Normally the first time can be painful and just messy at the end of the day.
Just slow down and relax and maybe think about some foreplay as this can get the juices flowing and if this girl is not making your head swim, then maybe she just isn't right for you.
Just because she was your first girl, don't feel like you can never have anyone else.
Take your time and with more experience, the pleasure senses are heightened.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
Sex is nothing like it seems in porn of films or anything like that. And you should do it with someone you care about. You're not gay, you just had different expectations, that's all. It will get better when you are more experienced.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 January 2010):
Seriously let me get this straight:
1. You have no attraction to men.
2. You enjoyed sex with a woman
BUT, it wasn't as good as in the films... so you might be gay?
Sweetie, you do know that films aren't real? Porn is NOTHING like reality. And yes, you'd probably built it up in your head and expected it to be earth shattering with a orchestra in the back ground, then it may not have lived up to it.
Your first time at ANYTHING is not great.
You are not gay just because John Williams didn't write your sound track.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (5 January 2010):
Sex is always better if you do it with someone you love. Sex with strangers is unfulfilling. My guy friends often dislike the women they sleep with casually. Take your time to get to know your girl and don't rush things. The first time is rarely ever that great for girls too. Kissing and touching your girl doesnt mean you have to end up having sex. You could just get to 2nd or 3rd base (do they still use these terms?!). This could happen for a long time without going all the way. If you don't have gay feelings then you are not gay. You just need to be with someone you love. But don't rush things because of peer pressure. Go at your own pace.
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A
female
reader, lola29  +, writes (5 January 2010):
hey ur not at all "gay" lol. Ur just confused by ur performance in bed, and u probably had high expectations.
watching porn has maybe highlighted how hardcore it is, so lsn it was ur first time, and u said u enjoyed it, so what's the problem? Ur just not experienced enough, so the next time you do engage in sex, dont expect anything, enjoy the moment, and wear a condom.
take care.
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