A
male
age
36-40,
*haseTerrier
writes:My rat terrier is 15 years old and I got him when I was 12 years old. It was great having a dog growing up but after he dies, I do not want another dog.My problem is my parents are making a big deal about me not getting another dog after he dies. They keep on trying to get me to do research on different breeds of dogs and when I refuse, they get upset with me. I even got to the point where I had to tell them if they try to give me a dog as a birthday gift or a Christmas gift, I will just bring the dog to the pound or find another way to get rid of it.I am not a dog hater. I actually love dogs. I work with dogs and cats all day long at my job. So with my rat terrier at home, and dealing with pets all day at work, I do not get a break from animals. You try to be around animals 24/7 and see how you like. Also, if I do not get another dog after my rat terrier dies, I can spend the money on other things instead of spending it on dog food, vet bills, dog toys, est. The money I spend on my rat terrier in a year, I can go on a cruise every year instead.I can understand my parents being worried about me due to the fact that once my rat terrier dies, I will be living by myself (no other humans and no pets). But how can I explain to them that me NOT getting another pet after my rat terrier dies will be the best thing for me?
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female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous +, writes (24 September 2012):
I used to be surrounded by animals 24/7 since i was 12. I was a caretaker for a ranch horses, poultry, dogs, cats, an occasional bobcat cub, or baby bull. Along w the pets i had at home. Now, im grown i have pets 2 dogs 2 cats, 12 yes 12 turtles and 4 horses, i also have two kids and i know what you mean about vet bills. I recently paid 1200 as a nieghbor put rat poison along their fence and one of my dogs got into it. Of course i didnt know until he was coughing blood, ugg. The best way to explain it is tell them you want to travel and its more expensive and more of a burden with a dog. If you cant get it through to them, then you simply cant. You will just have to make good on what you say. If they get you a dog dont take it to the pound just give it away to someone you know, contact a rescue or put it up on cl and make sure whoever contacts you is legit. My mom was the same way when my black lab passed. I had her since i was eleven she was barely a yr. Put her down nov 2010. So sad. Good luck.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 Just be firm with them like you have been, and IGNORE them if they keep going at it. Don't pay them any attention. Deliberately ignore it, change the topic etc. You give one warning if they start talking about it, and that's it. Just one warning. Then if they keep harping on and on about it you ignore them. Don't talk to them, just ignore them, or even walk away. They'll soon learn that you aren't interested and that they can't manipulate you into doing something you don't want to.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 Pardon me, but it does not sound to me like something to be antsy about.
You just tell your parents calmly and politely what you have told us - you don't want any more pets because : a) you are already around pets all day long -b ) you want to save up your money for something else. You ask them NOT to give you another dog- you appreciate the thought, but no more dogs please. If then they stubbornly persist in giving you what THEY want you to have, too bad for them, you can immediately give back the new dog to the pet shop, or to his previous owner, or find him a new dog- loving family.
A gift can never be an imposition, if you make yourself clear about not wanting another dog, and they insist going against your wishes, only themselves to blame if they have wasted their money .
Surely that should not be a too hard to handle situation after your teen years ? ... Parents do tend at times to be overprotective and ,well, meddling- it's out of love, - one appreciates the good intention YET sets boundaries and make sure these are respected.
I can't help feeling , though, that there's more to the story, it sounds like they are really concerned and emotionally involved in you having a pet. Any particular reason you can think of ?.. You live alone , and that's perfectly fine- but , do you have friends ,some sort social life, someone to talk to - or are you a total loner ? do you have trouble in connecting with "humans" and conducting social interactions ?...Are you sociophobic ?
This is totally a wild guess and I can be wrong. Then again, it would explain why your parents would be concerned about you being totally alone- and lonely- without a pet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012): I can understand your dilemma in how do you express yourself clearly enough that your parents understand how you feel..I'm married and have children and we have a big wolfhound called bennyboy haha and we have both decided that once Ben goes we will not have another dog for sometime, . I can sense a lot of frustration for you centred around this, you work with animals come home to an animal, and just seem overwhelmed with them at the min. That may be a good starting point. Why not say over a nice cup of tea that after your dog goes you want to have a little break for a while, no dogs, just you, for a while, not that your closing the door on the lovely suggestion but that you want a little respite from having a dog. You want freedom to be able to go trips without the worrying of who will look after your little fella . And then oneday when it's right for you, who knows you might want another dog in your life.. I think you need to approach this in a more lighter note, telling them you'd take the dog to the pound seems very harsh and rather cold and from reading inbetween the lines this does not seem to be you, otherwise lil terrier woulda be there long ago..Parents worry, and we sometimes think we know what's best without asking, it's how we are, it's our job. Your mum and dad just don't want you to be lonely.. Just reassure them that though you will miss your dog when the time comes, it will give you some freedom of being able to stay over at friends having weekend breaks, etc and a little more money in your pocket for you. Take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012): If you are between 26-29, you are old enough to make the decision and choice about getting another dog on your own and do not need your parents to buy one for you. If you said you would take the dog to the pound or get rid of it another way might have alarmed them.
However, i know what it feels like to loose a dog you have had so long. Mine was 14 years, got her when i was 8. It was like having a family member die. We knew it was coming as she was ill, but it was gut retching - for me and my parents. I didn't think about getting another dog until 3 years later and that was my decision. I missed having a dog.
Explain to your parents, that you dont want to get another dog straight away once he passes away. You do not want to replace him. They are a lot of responsibility and do stop you from doing some things and do cost and if you dont want to go straight back into that arrangement straight after you suffer that loss. Tell them that you may get another dog in the future but right now, this is not what you want.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 I think your parents are concerned, not because of your decision but HOW you communicated that decision to them. They think you're choice is based on grief and fear instead of it being a calm amd rational choice. You may have unwittingly made a big deal of it yourself and that is what they're responding to.
How often does this subject come up? Do they bring it up? What makes you think they plan to get you another dog? Is your dog ill or is it just his age that has brought this topic to the forefront?
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