A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy daughter of 15 years is acting weird lately. I know she is sexually active, found used condom in her room. I want to make sure she is not pregnant. How do I bring up this subject without pushing her away from me. Already she hates me cause I asked her to not to meet her bf, that guy is very much older than her and he is of bad influence on her. Please helpHer father my ex is not of any help. He hardly meets her. Please help.
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female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (8 September 2012):
 Ok so she's having sex-normal
Her boyfriend is older than her-normal (mines 11 years older age is only a number)
You probably acted wierd as a teenager. Ask your mum how she felt when you were a sexually active teen.
If she is pregnant she will have to tell you at some point. It will become apparent in a few months anyway. Good idea SVC buy her a kit, support her whatever her decision.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): Simple solution to the problem - Shop your 15 year old daughters "Very much older bad influence boyfriend" to the police and tell your daughter if she wants to act like an adult she can start by listening to and respecting you, following rules and stop breaking the law she's a child.
That's what I would do if she was my daughter.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (7 September 2012):
 SVC has a very good point your youth does put you at a disadvantage here. Many teens don't believe that they can learn from the mistakes that their parents made. They feel they have a right to make all of their own mistakes. In a way they are right.
Learning from the mistakes of others is a more mature thought than most 15 year olds are capable of. In Fact considering the new emotional connections and just plain hormonal forces going on it is a wonder they can think at all.
It is tempting to parents to connect to their teens by being their friend. This is a dangerous pitfall, as teens really need a solid foundation to check their decisions against. So you do need to be a parent. The good news is parents are supposed to be loving, and supportive.
When I had this talk with my oldest she flat out denied that anything was going on. I told her that I would believe her, but I also explained my reasons (very good reasons) for being suspicious. And I reaffirmed that I loved her even if she did things I don't approve of.
That was the successful conversation. There were some mistakes before that one.
I suppose some may find it creepy but I always check my daughters pregnancy status using the monthly method. Since I buy the supplies ant take out the trash, I at least get a regular check. I suppose that a clever girl could fake a negative result.
FA
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 September 2012):
 Be firm with her. Tell her you know she is sexually active, and that you want to help her out to avoid a pregnancy. Tell her that you want to help pay for birth control pills.
Although, I would think that if you found a used condom it is evident that your daughter already is using protection and having safe sex. A condom is also safer for her at this point, as you do not know if her boyfriend has any STD's. Getting her on birth control might mean that she can get an STD, or that she will forget her pill and get pregnant anyway.
Besides being there to wrap the condom on her boyfriends penis, there really isn't much you can do to ensure she uses protection during sex.
But if she is 15 and under age, you should file a police report against her boyfriend for statutory rape. That ought to create a whole bunch of drama, but it will most definitely keep them separated. It might ruin your relationship with your daughter, but you must decide. Is her current boyfriend really someone who is bad for her, so bad for her that it is worth having your daughter hate you for a while?
Lastly I want to tell you that ALL teenagers get in a fuzz with their parents. It is genetic, they rebel against authority naturally at this stage. There's nothing wrong with her, or you, if you don't get along. It is actually quite normal for teenagers to not get along with their parents. It gets better as they grow older and move out.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 September 2012):
 Well since you were a mere child yourself when you gave birth to her, does your mom have any influence???
why is she acting weird....
you could just buy a home pregnancy kit and leave it on her bed with a note that says "Please use this and if it's positive come to me and we can talk and I will not yell or scream I will help you"
and then YOU can't yell or scream
how OLD is this creepy predator boyfriend of hers?
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