A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guysI just wanted some advice on a problem I am having. I I have a sister who is 29 years old and she has two small children. However she has started to drink alcohol around her children, to the point where she gets blind drunk, this has been going on for three years now. She has also become addicted to cocaine (she also takes speed and other types of drugs that make her hellucinate) and she takes this around her children with a house full of people drinking and taking drugs around these children. Her two children are really unhappy, one of them is one years old and the other is only 3 years old. The three year old is starting to become angry all the time, tearful, and she sometimes wee's herself. I feel that my neice's are not being looked after properly. I have tried to put a stop to it but she doesn't care as long as she can spend her time taking her drugs. She has now turned angry towards me and is cutting me out because I now know what she has been doing and I have told her I'm disgusted with it. I know I should report her to social services, but I will feel guilty doing it as I know she loves her kids when she is not out of her face on drugs or alcohol, but when she is on drugs and alcohol she doesn't really care for them at all. I'm stuck because in my heart I know I should report it for the safety of the kids, but I also think that if I do report it the family would not be happy with me for reporting my sister and I know my sister would never forgive me for it, eventhough it is her doing. What should I do?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (29 April 2015):
 Were you able to make the call? You were very upset about this, have you managed to assist in getting your nieces/nephews to safety?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2015): Has anyone discovered WHY your sister is drinking? I am not saying that those children don't need to be a priority - they do - but your sister is clearly going to need professional and personal support and help to kick this problem. Those children should not suffer in the meantime. You have some good advice here. 3 years? Those kids have suffered enough.
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A
female
reader, trixiestix +, writes (25 April 2015):
As a person whose childhood was tremwndously scarred by an alcoholic and mentally unstable mother who went as far as to knowingly allow me to be molested YES call the authorities. For me my life changed only when the courts took me away from my mother and gave my dad full custody. Hopefully someone in your family will step up and take custody of the kids may it come to that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): You're the one who should be unhappy with your family; everyone knowing what your sister is doing. Yet no one else has considered any action in the protection of the children.
Just bear something in-mind. If child-protection
authorities do intervene; they may remove the children from their home. They could wind-up in foster-care, which may not be much better.
If you do decide to report her; are you willing to assume custody of the children temporarily until she is rehabilitated and deemed a fit parent? Is anyone else in your immediate family, or will you just leave that up to strangers?
Everyone is advocating reporting her, but what about what happens to the children?
I think the family will know you may be the anonymous person who reported her; because they have to be aware of your concern for the children. If no one else in the family is willing to assume the responsibility of giving those children loving-care and a home; is taking them away from their mother and putting them in some stranger's home any better? They may even get separated.
Get your legal-ducks in a row, and find out what could possibly happen to them; and base your decision on the facts and make sure they'll be better-off for it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 April 2015):
 You worry so much what your sister and other family will think of you. But what about this? When her children grow up, what will THEY think of you? Will they think if the aunt who knew, but didn't do anything to help them? Or will they think of their aunt who loved them enough to put them first, like their mother should have done?
This is child neglect at best, and child abuse at worst. These children are being traumatized and are going to grow up possibly facing several psychological problems because of the stress they endured as children. What's worse is that NO ONE is looking after them when their mom is high and wasted. Anything could happen to them, they could easily swallow something, eat some of the drug, or be abused by their mothers guests.
Children come before alcoholic and drug-addicted siblings.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 April 2015):
 I agree that you NEED to call Social Services on her. Not for HER sake but for her kid's sake.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 April 2015):
 you can report it anonymously. Children first.
IF your sister can get clean and sober she will thank you for caring for her children when she was unable to.
Your sister has a disease. Addiction is a neurobiochemical disease and not a moral failing or weakness.
she's not taking care of herself. IF she had cancer and could not care for her children you would help out... if you can't care for the children, the social services needs to be contacted.
I also strongly urge you to go to Al-anon meetings if possible. It is for family and friends of folks affected by alcoholism or drug abuse. It will help you find ways to cope and find serenity.
It is only because of the children that you need to be involved. Children can't care for themselves and are in danger.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic and I get it. Al-anon saved my sanity. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 April 2015):
You can call or chat online with someone from the NSPCC. http://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/ You don't have to reveal who you are at that time. Gather advice there. Calls to 0808 800 5000 are free from landlines and most mobiles.
I'd also suggest you look for an Al-Anon meeting near you, they are for people with loved ones are alcoholicsl. http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk They have a helpline as well. 020 7403 0888
Best wishes to you and your family.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 April 2015):
 The kids come first..... Do you have any "other" family (members) who might house the kids? ... until/unless your Sister comes to her senses?
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (24 April 2015):
You know you have to report this. You can do so anonymously with the NSPCC. Check out their website.
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