A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I was wondering what peoples oppinions were on surname for children. My first child has my surname as he's dad doesn't bother with him anyway, am pregnant with my second only been with the dad about 8 months we are not married who's surname should our baby take. I kind of want my children to have the same surname but I know he wants to use his. If anyone's got any input on this thankyou. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 April 2015):
 It's sort of better if your children have the same last name. My little brother had my dads last name, whereas I had my mothers last name, for several years. Then my mother got tired of it every time it wasn't clear that he was part of the family (because on many form and invitations etc, they only write the "family" surname and not individual names). My little brother was sort of left out on paper, lol. So when he was about 6 my mom changed it so we all had the same last name as her. Mom and dad were never married.
I would compromise. Tell him the child will have your last name as a way to stay connected with its oder sibling and not make anyone feel left out. Then when you and the father of the baby marry, you will ALL change your last names to his.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous writer I should of added that I have been seeing him for 2 years but officiously together for 8 months I don't just go round having babies with random people, baby wasn't planed but its happens now. And as for the first father he's desicion not to be bothered I wasn't to know.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (22 April 2015):
 Definitely your surname. This guy could fly the coop at any time.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2015):
 I would give the baby YOUR last name.
IF you get married to him later on, a change of name is not a big deal. But if you are going to do that, then I suggest he be prepared to adopt your older child so all the names are the same.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2015): Hyphenate the new name for the new baby.
And consider - now or later - doing the same to CHANGE the name already given to your first child - IF - you and the new partner/Dad decide to stay together in the long term.
Then both children will end up with the surname.
Or, at least will share part of the surname if you decide not to hyphenate the first child's.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2015): Yours. He wants the baby to have his name-great. He can make his baby mama an honest woman, give you his name too and then-presto! Problem solved.
No arguments about baby's surname as you'd all have the same one.
ps: you've only dated him for 8 months and you're pregnant by him? Seriously? I don't want to be judgy but this is way too short! You don't even know him yet! What makes you think HE will stick around AFTER the baby is born???
A baby does NOT guarantee a man will stick around.
I mean you already have one missing baby daddy, do you fancy two? Be selective about your baby daddies, please. Your babes deserve it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 April 2015):
 Since you are not married, I'd give the child YOUR surname. You can still put the dad's name on the birth-certificate.
Or you could hyphenate it.
So let's say your BF's name is Smith and you are Doyle
Your second child will be a Smith-Doyle
Ir you can use HIS last name as the middle name or second middle-name. That way the child HAS his/her father's name, but when he/she start school he/she will have the same last name as her/his brother.
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