A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. this is my question. i just had a baby 3 days ago, and, well instead of having post partum depression, im having quite the opposite. It seems im sad now because hes out of my tummy and is only going to get bigger from here on out :( ive been crying for a while thinking about it. Is this normal? How can i try to move past this? Thank you all. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 It isn't unusual - I understand why you feel like that. I think a lot of women feel all empty when their baby is not in their tummy any more - if you think about it, that makes total sense. I have had two babies, and both times I felt empty and sad. But then you realise that actually, you can still have that warm, close feeling with your baby - you just keep on building on that bond, and any time you hold him close, you can feel like he is still right there with you.
Your little baby has had his time inside you. Now it is his time to grow. Like you grew. This is his time. But he still needs you SO much - he is utterly dependent on you! He only really feels ok when he is very close to you. It is a shock for him too, being outside - so you need to hold him really close and you will, I promise you, feel that same bond as when he was inside you.
You can have that same feeling of love and closeness as when he was in your tummy - just lie him on your tummy, and hold him close. My daughter is nearly 4 now, but I still cuddle her a lot, and sometimes she just lies on my tummy like she did when she was inside it, and just to feel her breathing, and lie still like that, I feel the same as when I was pregnant.
And remember, this is only your first baby. You will most likely have others. You are just at the start of the journey of being a mother and learning to cope with all the love you feel for your baby, and how to be the very best mother for him or her.
I know what you are feeling, and it is almost a lonely feeling - but you really really don't need to feel that - just pick your baby up and hold him close, and feel his little hands moving, and feet, and think how he was doing that inside your tummy, and now he is doing it on you - really only a few millimetres difference from where he was before : )
It is all ok. People have lots of different feelings after having a baby. The most important thing is that he is out ok (because it isn't that easy getting out - especially first time) - and he is with you, and any time you can just pick him up and cuddle him. Just hold him. Lie him next to you. Be close to him. This is the new way of being with him. You will get used to it really quick. And he needs you so much. You are everything to him.
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (13 January 2012):
I agree, this does sound like post partum depression. But it also sounds like how parents are sad about how quickly their children will grow up. When you are sad about this, try to think about what wouldn't happen if your baby didn't grow bigger. They would never start crawling, take their first step, say their first word, bring home their first report card, etc. These amazing milestones will never happen unless they grow up. And it's sad and scary sometimes how quickly it can happen, but it's also happy and joyous too.
Congratulations on your new baby!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 January 2012):
 Are you sure this is the opposite of post partum depression? You are experiencing sorrow directly linked to having given birth, this sounds like could be post partum depression. Talk to your doctor.
Remember that he was getting bigger while in your tummy as well. This isn't a process that starts once he is born, this is a process that stared once he was conceived. You yourself will also grow alongside him.
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