A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A few days ago, my husband came to me and told me that he had been taken advantage of by a stripper. He had gone to a strip club for lunch and a show. A stripper convinced him to go in the back room for a private dance for $20. Once there, she started to dance, then got down on the ground. She pulled at my husband's pants and then put his penis in her mouth. He pushed her away and told her to stop. A bouncer overheard them, came in the room, told my husband not to touch the girls and threw him out of the club. My husband told me this whole story while crying like I've never seen him cry before. We have a wonderful marriage and a beautiful daughter. There has never been any cheating issues in our relationship. He even went for STD testing today because he was so scared.I have no one in my life I can talk to about this, so I'm looking for some advice.
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (11 January 2012):
I'm sorry but I had to chuckle when I read your story. Your husbands regretful state doesn't tally with the story. If he's so upset then why did he go to a stripbar for lunch, why did he pay extra for a private show? I, like many faithful husbands have frequented quite a few stripbars and do so because its safe titilation for the lads, strict rules keep order even when loads of overpriced drink is flowing. The no touching rule is universal. Does your husband have bruises? If so thats probably good as all that happened was he touched and got thrown out, if no bruises athen probably something worse could have happened. Many of the girls will do oral or full sex from around $200 up. I know a couple of guys who have done this and I came close one drunken night. I can't imagine a girl not using a condom so not sure about the sti testing. .... Sorry but I think you need to ask a few more questions, $20 doesnt buy this much story. Whatever it was, and you will never really know for sure, its not only women who lose self control after a few drinks
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): Canadian Law in regards to Prostitution and Strip Laws.Bawdy-house laws make sex acts in clubs illegal if they happen in public (indecent) or if you charge money (prostitution).Also, it depends on what Province you are in in regards to being charged and who would be 'guilty'. Some provinces, the bars have to have a license AND the Stripper Has to Have One as Well. Some other places, its just the stripper that needs a license. Even then, most Strippers are underaged. ;) So have Fake ID. :P Makes you wonder all together about this alleged account your Husband tells.So Husband can be slapped with an Immoral theatrical performance and may face two years in jail or a fine of $2000 and 6 months in jail. As could stripper.Husband may also face a charge of nudity in a public place where it is not entertainment and does not have a license. That is up to $2000 fine or 6 months of jail.So both the Stripper and Your Husband enacted out illegal activities that could get them both arrested or face a fine or even jail time.Either way, Hubands story implicates him, even if he was as stupid to even pay her the money - yes some clubs can get away with such things in Canada, it happens a lot in fort Mac AB and Toronto, Vancouver.Saskatchewan the only province that has a law that Alcohol and Strippers cannot be in the same building/establishment. Yay!So why would hubby endanger his job and his marriage by doing something so dangerous?It would be more practical that he hired a prostitute and took her to his car so long as it was secluded or hotel.Even then, it would be safer to engage in an affair where it is mutual and no money was exchanged, thus making it legal.Tested for STDS? I'm thinking whatever occured- it went past oral to penetration.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): I don't think this is a true story.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 Crock O POO!
I've been to strip clubs.
I know what goes on and there is NO touching of the women and they do NOT perform services like that.
and certainly not for 20 dollars....
and she pulled at his pants.... what about his belt, his buttons and his fly... oh please what a crock... do me a favor when he gets home tonight, sit him in a chair and pull at his pants and tell him to SHOW YOU EXACTLY what he did after she pulled at his pants.... were these magic velcro falling off him for a blow job pants???
and fwiw I have had lunch at a strip club...it's nice... it's quiet... the food is not bad... of course there's a mostly naked girl twirling around on a pole behind me....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): Agreed. A faithful, loving Husband does not NEED to set foot in a strip club. Then wonders how he can have some stripper put his penis in her mouth? He ALLOWED her to do so.
$20 and your trust in him is soiled. $20 and your marriage has to recover from his lust and stupidity.
Cerberus totally has it down. He paid for the service.
I say counselling because the trust is destroyed and you will need to get to the bottom of why he did it so the 'trigger' of if he is a sex addict, serial cheater is a part of the problem.
Sorry, but how can you be that bored you are willing to risk EVERYTHING in the world?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): Sorry, not buying this story at all. My first thought is why is your husband going to "have lunch" in a strip club??? There are plenty of places to have a meal, it doesn't have to be in front of a bunch of skanks...how disrespectful to you....
something must have happened for him to tell you all of this, but I think it was something far more than he is letting on to....cripes sake, he even went to get STD tested? Lesson learned...hopefully your husband will stay out of scum tramp bars and don't touch them with a 10 foot pole...just disgusting....
I hope you can work this out, if it was me, I don't think I could do it...if my man can't be faithful and needs to go and do this kind of thing, he would need to go find someone else, like one of those strippers cause that would be the end for me...I don't accept that kind of behavior from a man in a committed relationship, especially a married one.
And I am sorry he did this to you....it is hard and I get this is not something you can talk about with really anyone...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 January 2012):
 A strip club for lunch???
Let me guess... they had a two-cheeseburgers-for-the-price-of-one special that day??????
I think your man thinks that you're pretty naive.... and are going to believe his story.....
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 January 2012):
 I don't believe him either.
I don't understand who he even thought it was ok to get a "private dance" for lunch - ewww
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 January 2012):
 What Cerberus said. Long ago we had a guy who tried explain to his wife that "the woman accidentally fell on his penis". Time for a nice chat with the hubby.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): Was he wearing magic pants or something that allowed her to open them in less time than he had to react? At lunch time when I can only assume he was perfectly sober too? Nothing about this adds up OP. The more details I consider about this the less his story makes any sense.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): I don't believe him at all OP. I have had plenty of lap dances and plenty of private dances in clubs all over Europe and I have never once had a stripper try and give me a blow job out of the blue. It doesn't happen without asking for it and you have to pay a good bit extra for that kind of service.
Why the hell would she risk her job, risk getting the club closed down for sexually assaulting a customer for 20 bucks? Why would the bouncer then kick him out too?
Sounds to me like he's trying to cover his own ass and get rid of his guilt by telling you what happened but putting a nice little spin on it. If he's that upset then he should go to the cops, that was a serious sexual assault if that was the case. I have a feeling he won't though and the reason he's upset is more likely because he whipped out his dick and tried to guide her onto it. That's most likely what happened. I mean come on, overheard what? Overheard a guy pushing her back and telling her to stop and he was the one kicked out for that? Really? I don't think so OP, it's an exceptionally unlikely occurrence and it's more likely she called in the bouncer to get him removed.
If this really happened then he has no other choice but to go to the cops, if he refuses this then I would not believe a word of what he says because not only are the circumstances completely unlikely, as in almost impossible but you're talking about a guy who went for a lap dance for lunch and then decided knowingly to go for a private dance which involve far more naked touching (breasts rubbing off face etc.) and grinding.
There are too many holes in his story.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 What does he want sympathy for? The fact that he was roughed up and thrown out by the bouncer? Because I dont see what else hurts him here.
He went to the strip club on his own accord, agreed to a private lap dance and then you dont really know what happened. I mean, for all you know he could be the one who was trying to get cozy with the girl and hence was thrown out! I'm sorry, but look at his credibility here. A married man with a child, going to a strip club and agreeing to a private lap dance.
And it takes time to pull someone's pants down and get their penis out of their underwear AND put it in the mouth. I'm sorry to be graphic, but what he's saying doesnt add up at all. This entire episode will take a minute at the very least, its not like it happens in seconds and he doesnt have the time to react. What was he doing the entire time while she was doing all this?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 Ps. If such an incident happens again I would question whether he can be trusted or not. But this is sort of like going into a candy store "just to have a look" and then the salesman tries to convince you to buy candy, and you buy it, and then you gain weight, and then you cry about it and say it wasn't your fault.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (10 January 2012):
I am sorry but I have to side with the anonymous poster. He knew what place he was going to. Now he might not have expected the woman to grab at him, but he shouldn't have gone to the strip club in the first place, nor should he have gone with her for a private session. I say let this be for now, but tell him he should not go to strip clubs again as clearly he doesn't know how to use good judgement in these cases. Just tell him that for his own sake, and the sake of the marriage, you do not want him at strip clubs again. Then let it pass and forget it happened.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): Im really sorry to be blunt and I know you want to believe him but honestly
Strip clubs are full of men and why would this stripper choose an unwilling men in the while strip club when there are plenty of other men who will be willing to have a private strip dance and happily go the extra miles she wanted to head towards but instead it's your poor husband :/ what was he doing all that time when she eventually got to the point of putting it in Shia mouth.... It seems like he went there for a reason he knew what he was doing but he now feels guilty an had to tell you with a twist so you can not be mad at him because his the victim!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (10 January 2012):
 How did he explain the asking for a private dance to begin with ? ...
I mean, some wives would have issues with their husbands BEING in a strip club, but never mind. Suppose he was there just to enjoy the atmosphere and the vidsual experience, why did he want this experience to be private ? What did he expect from that ?...
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (10 January 2012):
 Any explanation from him on what made him opt for the private dance? I mean, those things are generally rather unsubtle euphemisms.
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