A
female
age
30-35,
*insay
writes:My boyfriend finished with me today. I am so upset and to finish off he says to me, i'm still welcome to go to his 21st at the end of this month. Is this a good idea? all his family will be there as well. Any suggestion how I get over him or whether you think it is a good idea to attend his 21st or not? Thanks
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female
reader, Ngyzee  +, writes (9 January 2012):
Don't go to the party, but if u must, then go with a really cute guy, and look absolutely stunning! U know what? Just forget him, don't go!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): Dont attend the party, but if you stay at home thinking about how much fun he is having, you will feel more depressed. Go out on that day!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 Screw the birthday party. It was .. nice I suppose that he invited you, but just be happy for the invitation and don't go. You'll just be miserable and uncomfortable, besides if there are drinks imagine how much more emotional you could get.. Too much room for doing something you will regret. I would also write his phone number down on a piece of paper and hide it away, and then delete his number from your phone. If you don't need to contact him you can just delete it all-together, but in case you want to stay civil and there are things that need sorting through later on you could keep the number just in case, although NOT on your phone. Removing it from your phone removes the chance that you will randomly call him when you are feeling at your lowest. Make it your priority to NOT call him when you feel an urge to. Only contact him or talk to him when you feel strong, confident, are aren't feeling a need to rush into his arms and cry your heart out.
How to get over him? No good advice there other than take one day at a time. In time it WILL feel better, believe it or not. You just got to get there. So in the meantime do something that will distract you completely or partially. Spoil yourself to something new and interesting. Do something that marks a change in your life, such as a new haircut or vacation, or that expensive purse you always wanted etc. After my first two breakups I bought expensive shoes and got a fancy new hairstyle. After the third I travelled to two different countries (actually saw the breakup coming, I wanted out, so booked my vacations/get aways prior to breaking up). After my fourth breakup I went on vacation, am going to get a haircut tomorrow, and buying myself a Nintendo Wii with favourite games to occupy myself with. I'm also applying for jobs to get a change of scenery, and got myself a new lovely jacket.
Now, maybe I would have done this pampering for myself anyway, but probably not as I am not loaded with money. But it makes me feel good to take great care for myself, after all I don't have a boyfriend to take care of me and make me feel happy, so I got to make myself feel happy. As do you. So give yourself things that will make you happy, or do the things that will make you happy. I work out because it makes me feel happy knowing that I am taking care of my body. Besides, if you ever run into your ex you want to look stunning.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 I agree, I really do think it is a bad idea going to his 21st. I am sure he done this as a kind gesture but it will only hurt you seeing him and not being with him. It will be awkward for you, and what if he is flirting with other girls it will only break your heart, stay well clear. All break ups are hard you just need to break contact and carry on with things, it will get easier in time.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 Don't attend the party. It will just cause you more pain. The only way to move on is distance and time. You need to distance yourself from him as much as you can. I know it will be hard since you probably feel like you just want him in your life as much as possible, but if he's decided to move on keeping him as a friend and going to his birthday party will only make it impossible to move on.
Time is really the best medicine for a break up. It will help you move through it faster and easier if you can keep yourself occupied. Go out with friends as much as possible, spend more time with your family/parents, take up a hobby (painting classes, dance classes, anything you can both work on on your own and have a weekly get together to look forward to).
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