A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my good friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with several different men. I know it's not my business but I know the guys and since I talk to them often they've eventually told me about this girl.I've seen her myself kiss other guys and other stuff of that nature. A couple of the guys have told me they know she's in a relationship but they're just in it for the fun and sex, the other men she's cheating with apparently don't know she's in a relationship or anything and consider her their girlfriend. I didn't get involved in the whole situation and I didn't say anything about any of it.But it all comes back to she's cheating on my good friend and I hate to see him get hurt like this. He has no clue about what she's doing but I do and I feel like I'm now stuck in the middle. Part of me wants to let him know what's going on but a bigger part of me thinks I shouldn't say anything because it would be too weird to tell him. I know if that was me getting cheated on and somebody knew about it I would want them to let me know, so I don't know what to do.Why would someone cheat so much on their boyfriend...and should I let my friend know what's going on? Thank you all for your help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (10 June 2013):
 I would tell him, but be prepared that you might lose his friendship. People are not always happy and grateful if you tell them things like this. If you don't say anything and he finds out you know, you could also easily stand to lose the friendship because for every day that passes you're standing by watching him be made a fool of. It's awful that everyone knows except him. When he finds out he'll be hurt by her betrayal but also by his friends' betrayal for not telling him.
You might lose him either way so you may as well do the decent thing and tell him. Be kind, be sensitive, be there if he needs you but ball off if he asks you to. Good luck, I do not envy your position.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 There are plenty of reasons to cheat. None of them are good reasons or even valid but, they exist and they draw those willing, to cheat on someone who may genuinely care about them simply because, they don't.
People are often conflicted about this. But you know your friend better than I. Do you think he would want to know? What is a better way of finding out? You could tell him or he could find out for himself or find out from someone else. None of those provide any less pain than the other.
If I were to be honest, I'd say he should find out from you. I only say this because it is better for him to find out sooner rather than later. Also, if by chance, he should find out for himself and then find out that you knew, there is a possibility that he could grow resentful of you as well. If he finds out from someone else, it would most likely happen later and he'd have wasted more time being with someone who clearly does not care about him.
You know him better than I so I cannot accurately say what will or won't happen, but there it is. I say tell him.
I hope that helps.
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