A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello i have been with my partner now for 2 1/2 years and has been a very terbulant relationship, he drinks heavily and when he aint arounf me he promises he wont drink and when i phone him and he is drunk on the phone or even before he gets to that stage he swears on our childs life that he hasnt had a drink, he lies, take money, has awful moods, is violent, tells me he is going to sleep with someone and not to text or call him, says horrible stuff about me my looks, but then after he says he is sorry and dont mean all them horrid things but then days or hours later he is back at it again with his flaring moods and i dont no what else to do
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Wow hes very abusive and immature. When you have kids you shouldnt act like this. He sounds like an alcoholic n needs help. Tough situation. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): leave him ASAP, if not sooner!
you do NOT want to be involved with an abusive alcoholic. My father is one, and I know only too well how that situation ends.
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, That Girl 9.9  +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Apparently your boyfriend is abusive. You need to get out of this relationship right now. And maybe put a restraining order against him. Get you and your child out of the house safely. I will pray for you.
Good luck!
Message me if you want to talk
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (1 February 2013):
 People like him do not deserve nearly as many chances as you have given him. You gave him forgiveness and many chances and he spat in your face.
You know what to do already. It might be difficult, entirely understandable if it is. You must tear yourself and your child away from him. You will feel liberated.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): You are in an abusive relationship and so you need to get out of it because otherwise it will never get better and it will only get worse. So What you need to do is look up on the internet and find the nearest womens refuge centre and find out how you are going to get there, tell your family and friends but tell them not to let know and when he's out pack up your stuff and get there it would probably help you to have a friend or family member with you for abit of moral support. But you need to have zero contact with him no matter how much he tries to guilt trip you into coming back. And although it may be hard to leave you willFeel so happy that you did it afterwards and the only way that he could even have a chance of changing is if he accepts that he has a problem and wants enough for himself to change and if your with him then theres no way of this happening but if you leave him you can start to feel like the proper you again and when you get to the centre then there would be people that care and want to help you and other women in your situation.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Carry On Dick +, writes (1 February 2013):
 I`m sorry but I wouldn`t give a man like this the time of day, he would drive me mad. Think of yourself and your child and leave this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): You don't know what else to do besides what OP? Besides making him make promises he won't keep? Besides being his emotional, physical punch bag?
Forgive me OP but why are you here? I mean you know leaving is the only option you have, you knew that from the first violent outburst, the first broken promise you knew he would never change, so why are you here, what do you want us to tell you? That everything is going to be okay, that you have to stay strong and things will work out.
Well sorry OP they won't. You're fucked because no matter what the other posters say you're not going to leave him, you feed off the sweet him like a drug and tolerate the mean him just to keep getting that.
If you don't like this situation then leave, call your local battered women's shelter and ask them for advice. Pack your bags and go. If not then stop moaning about something that is very easily resolved. Really simple solution, either do it or don't, but don't be so quick to condemn him for what he does, he couldn't do those things if you weren't there.
So again, why are you here?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): LEAVE.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 February 2013):
 There is nothing else to do but leave him to his bottle. You have a child to think about. It is what it is.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 February 2013):
Work on breaking up amicably. Don't get married to him.
There are a few traits that are intolerable in a marriage for me, lying being one of them. Excessive lying makes your whole relationship feel like there is no foundation.
Get rid of him. You and your child deserve better!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 February 2013):
 MY mother used to say "sorry dont' feed the bulldog"
what she meant was words are cheap and actions are what matter.
he says he's sorry but he does not show it.
IF you do not live with him set your ducks in a row to have your child with him taken care of financially and work towards ending the relationship until such a time that he is sober...
I say this as a woman married to an active alcoholic...
get yourself to some Al-Anon meetings so you get some support from those who have BTDT.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 February 2013):
 I would discourage you from any further attempts at problem solving. He has proven himself to be dishonest and unreliable, not to mention toxic.
The solution is pretty straight forward. Leave him. I realise it's easier said than done, but it can be done and it may not be as difficult as you fear. People ditch toxic friends and lovers all the time. Whatever grief or void you feel immediately afterward will pass in time as you rebuild your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): I don't mean to come across as harsh or judgemental, but you know what to do. You're not a teenager anymore and you're aware that this is abusive behavior. You can't change or fix him so you need to leave and quickly before you get physically hurt. Don't be afraid of moving forward to a better life that you so rightfully deserve. Please talk to someone because I know that this has done a number on your self esteem and self worth. Considering that you are confused on what to do, you are starting to believe what he saying about you is true! Don't ever allow anybody to take away your self love! Whenever you're in doubt about these types of situations ask yourself this question. Would he take that type of behavior from you? Not no but HELL no! He wouldn't take that from you. Why are you allowing it? Leave now because you deserve so much better! Good luck to you!
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