A
male
age
41-50,
*ank Moody
writes:Firstly, I know i'm a scumbag.I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and I do love her. I don't know why but over the last 3 months I have been cheating on her with about 8 different girls. I love her but I just couldn't stop myself. I know there's no excuse. It was just random girls I met in bars and stuff. One of the girls found her on facebook and it all came out. I told her we only kissed and didn't sleep together but she still left me.I told her she should forgive me as I forgave her when she was unfaithful very early into the relationship but she said 2 wrongs don't make a right.She only knows about 1 girl, not any of the others. She is a good girl and needs to do better than me.Of course I still love her and she came over an hour ago and said she loves me too much to just let me go. It hurt inside but I told her she should walk away and meet someone new as i'm no good for her and things won't be the same again.I feel bad , of course I want her back but i'm thinking what's best for her, not what I want. Have I finally done the right thing?We are also booked for holiday in 2 months and she said we can just go as friends. Don't know what to do.thanks for reading.
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (12 June 2013):
 Yes, I honestly think you did the best thing for BOTH of you.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 June 2013):
 Yep you did the right thing, hopefully you can recoup any money that was involved with the holiday plans. It's over time to move on.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 June 2013):
 You have both been unfaithful toward each other. Yes, you did the right thing this time. Unless you both discover why you were unfaithful to each other if you did indeed love each other so much, I do not see much hope for this relationship. It can only work when you know you can be completely faithful to each other. It can ONLY work when you two can trust each other and that means, being honest. Keeping no secrets. Even then, it will be very difficult.
It is not impossible but it is bitter work.
If you two love each other that much. You have to work things out by yourselves. If you feel as though history would only repeat itself, then you both need to walk away.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): Yes, you did the right thing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): You're right, she does deserve better... assuming she has cleaned up her act after cheating on you that first time?
Either way, you need to fess up to her that you did more than "kiss one other girl." First off, knowing you were sleeping with eight other women while supposedly being faithful to her should help her get over you more easily, and second--more importantly-- she NEEDS to have that information so she knows to go get checked for STI's as soon as possible, and understands the urgency of doing so. You should consider doing the same.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): Yes you have done the right thing, in fact well done for doing that after all you did to her.
Can I just give you some advice? Please please please tell her there were 8 women - if she thinks it's just 1 she will think its forgivable and miss you and find it hard to get over you. However if you tell her it was 8 she will realise she is better off without you. Sure it will look bad on you but she deserves the truth and has a right to know. Also you should both get checked out.
As for doing the right thing, I dont think you are ready for a relationship or to commit. She deserves a man who is, and I think you need time to yourself to be single. The holiday together isnt a good idea, i think you two beed to go your separate ways. Best of luck to both of you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): What do you consider cheating? What does your girlfriend consider cheating?
Does she expect you to be monogamous? Do you feel like you could ever be monogamous or are you a person who only sees himself as having multiple partners at the same time?
Do you always practice safe sex? If not, please have yourself tested.
If you are a person who only sees himself with multple partners and your girlfriend only wants monogamy then you are not suited for one another. You cannot lead her on anymore. You need to find a girl who is into the same things you are.
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