A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a dilemma…I dated a guy very shortly (less than 4 mo.) and he wanted to do a long distance thing but I didn’t like him enough to do so. He just didn’t “get it” so I had to rudely and abruptly cut contact and block him. My mom gave me a lot of shit for it because she liked him a lot and he was a “real man” as she said, and she told me that he could be a good connection to have (he’s a wannabe writer). But she only saw him a handful of times and, of course, he was eager to please so she saw the best in him. In truth, he’s extremely arrogant and his ego is over inflated. He claims that we are extremely sexually compatible and that we had mind blowing sex. This was untrue, the sex was TERRRRRIBLE. He couldn’t keep it up for two minutes EVERY TIME. And he never even touched me, only himself, requesting bj’s every single time. I guess he is that sure of himself then? He also makes very rude sexual jokes (I'm the subject of them). Well, anyway, I listened to my mom and go back in touch with him because I felt like a bitch. But I just don’t want to talk to him anymore (we email back and forth). He thinks he’s Hollywood material (screenwriting) but his stuff is very average, I’ve read a lot of it. He tries to pass it off as gold but hasn’t gotten anywhere with it and keeps getting rejections. I’m not mean spirited but he is just so off-putting and I want to tell him to f*ck off, even though I don’t owe him a thing, we’re no longer together. Should I just tell him I don’t want to talk to him anymore? Or do I ignore him? I was guilt-tripped by my parents into getting back in touch with him because they thought he was a good match for me. But I just can’t stand him anymore. I made the mistake of listening to my parents (cause I care what they think) and now he thinks I like him again... help please...the answer should be very obvious to me.He's a bit older than me (I'm 22, he's almost 27) and he claims to have never met anyone like me before, all that lovey dovey BS.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 May 2014):
 I would stop talking to him. No effort on your part is fine.
I do not think i would go so far as to block and unfriend him but I would be very cool and negative with him in any contact or just ignore him if possible.
UNLESS he asks a direct question that requires a response then I'd just ignore him. And i'd be honest with him that it's not working for you.
And since it's LDR I would start dating locally and being very open about it.
As for your parents, tell them the truth and ask them to trust your judgement about who is a good fit for you. IF they can't manage to back off and let you be an adult, then I would consider cutting as much contact with the parents as possible.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 May 2014):
 Just stop talking to him, as Honeypie says. A break up conversation will accomplish nothing of any value. He'll either pressure you to stay or, more likely by the sounds of him, get nasty.
If your mum thinks he's a catch, she needs her head examined. Don't get roped into any discussions about this. The less you say the more final it will be. If she thinks he's that great she can have him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 May 2014):
 I'd just stop talking to him. If you are NOT interested in this guy or getting back with him, you shouldn't HAVE to "fake" it.
I'd de-friend him, block him and move the heck on.
If you parents ask you why just tell them. BE honest with them.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (29 May 2014):
 You cannot let your family dictate your choices in such intimate situations. You are an adult, you decide who you are with. If he is what you say he is then he of course is not the right man for you. You know that and your family might not, so tell them that and just tell him that you do not wish to be involved with him anymore. If they do not understand then, that is their problem, not yours. But you should not be forced into bringing this man back into your life simply because of your mother's opinion.
I hope that helps.
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