A
female
age
30-35,
*oveTOlove9782
writes:I was best friends with my boyfriend for 4 years before we started dating. We've been together for a little over a year now and I'm due with our first child in about a month. My boyfriend wants us to get married but I'm worried about being ready. I'm not scared to commit myself to him for the rest of my life... I'm scared of not being enough for him for forever. I'm scared he'll get bored of me. I'm scared we won't make it, and I'm really scared of divorce.We've had a wonderful relationship so far. Nothing about our relationship makes me think we won't make it for forever.... I'm just scared of us failing. I guess my main question is how do you know if your ready for marriage??Thank you for your input!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): If you really have a gut issue about getting married you shouldn't. I'm not saying don't ever feel like you're never married and don't do it just you have to feel right for it to happen. And for the whole, you need to be married to be a happy family...sorry I don't buy it. Everyone is different yes, my story personally is my parents had me, unplanned. They knew unprotected sex meant baby so here I am. But marriage was not my parents issue. They wanted me happy, they got jobs. They were each others first and they have stood together for over 20 years and they are not married. Marriage means nothing if not more stress for a relationship to be 'perfect' when you only do it because a child is on the way. A baby does not care about a ring or a big party, the baby loves their parents and just want them to be happy. That makes a happy healthy home.Talk to your boyfriend let him know your fears. Forcing a marriage will not fix anything and could hurt you and a long lasting love. My parents admit if they would've been married they probably would've broken up. There are so many views on a marriage and they wouldn't have kept it at their young age. Don't let a party define your love and when the time is right you will be married. First off just love each other and your new baby and don't rush into something you will regret. And marriage does not equal love. Good luck 3
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 March 2013):
 You're ready to have a child with him but you aren't sure if you are ready to marry him? Sounds backassward to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): "I guess my main question is how do you know if your ready for marriage??"Since you apparently have already decided that you were ready to conceive a child, then you should already be married because it is impossible for two parents to make an honest good-faith lifetime commitment to raising a child together without having first made an honest good-faith lifetime commitment to each other. It takes two parents to make a baby because it takes two parents to raise a child.If you're so scared of your relationship failing, then you should never have allowed yourself to get knocked up so young. In the event that you and boyfriend break up, he'll still be tied to you for life as your child's father, the only one s/he'll ever have. Unfortunately, you're not ready for marriage. More unfortunately, that means neither are you ready to become a parent.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Do you feel ready? Everyone is afraid of failing and that is natural, but you seem to know that these worries of yours are uncalled for. I have seen people approach this in two ways. Some either shut their eyes, take the plunge and hope for the best and some, they wait a while longer to see whether or not their relationship is truly as strong as they think it is. If you are not sure about your relationship, there is nothing wrong with waiting a while longer. You and your boyfriend are together already, marriage is a choice, not a necessity. If you feel you are ready then I say to you, be married! But if you still feel as though this relationship may not be strong enough, then don't. No one can know what the future holds, what trials tomorrow may bring, you may take this one step at a time. Spend a while being engaged and then be married. There is no rush.
I hope that helps.
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