A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I've got a bit of a post christmas problem.Basically I spent christmas at my partners brothers house. We had a lovely time but we feel a bit awkward because her brothers partner signed her name on the presents from him, aswell as his name. So basically everything we got given from him, was from both of them. This is the first year she has joined us all for Christmas and usually we just exchange cards but this year she went to the trouble of getting my partner and I really thoughtful gifts. We didn't get her anything and feel awful about it. We had no idea she was getting us gifts and we usually only give gifts to close family and friends as we don't have a lot of money right now but we still feel bad. We really feel guilty and don't want her to think we don't see her as part of the family but don't know how to go about fixing this. She hasn't said anything.What do we do? We were thinking we could buy her. Small gift and give it to her but how do we do that without making it obvious we didn't originally get her anything?Help!
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (31 December 2011):
 A thank you card with a box of chocolates might be a good idea. And if you could find out when her birthday is, you can make up by giving her a good gift then, maybe a nice bottle of perfume or something. Then it wont seem like you're trying to hastily trying to make up for the Christmas gift and at the same time sends out the message that you see her as part of the family and value her presence.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): Aww I hate those situations! You could always take them out for a meal at a reasonably priced place (to not hurt your bank balance too much) or have them over to yours for some quality time together. As Chocoholic Forever suggests, a nice card would also not go amiss. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (31 December 2011):
In my opinion, having been on both sides of this awkward and uncomfortable situation myself, I think the best thing to do is to not give her a gift but a thank-you card.
If you were to give someone a gift only some time after they've given you one (i.e. on a different occasion) then you are just calling even more attention to your original "thoughtlessness." And the other person receiving a belated gift will know that this is being done out of guilt and that may make them feel awkward whereas previously they may have been fine not receiving a gift from you.
So I think the best thing to do is to send a gracious thank-you card to her and just leave it at that.
and then on future occasions you can reciprocate in another way but as its own event, not in "return" for this one.
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