A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is a nice and I really love her a ton and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's everything I could have ever wanted. She's smart, beautiful, and very kind. But when we first hooked up a friend of mine told me she gave BJs to two of her ex-boyfriends. At first I didn't believe him until I asked her myself and she confirmed it. I felt disgusted, jealous, and angry. I know it was all in the past but it's hard looking at her the same way as I did before knowing she did that. it makes sense that she would have done it because they were her boyfriends but it is so hard to deal with the fact that she willingly gave them BJs and she liked it. Please help me
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male
reader, Bigger D +, writes (19 April 2012):
Let's be serious son she gave BJ's to all her ex boyfriends, at least all of them since she began giving head. It's going to be awfully hard you to find a woman who hasn't given their ex boyfriends head. Is this your first relationship? You've got to put this behind you unless she starts giving them head while your dating her otherwise you have nothing to worry about.
A
male
reader, alphamalesyndrome +, writes (5 January 2012):
I totally understand where you are coming from.
You sound like you are a young guy with probably very little experience with women, so this is going to fuck your head up a bit.
But you should be happy that it was only 2 and that they were her boyfriends. That means that she at least has some sort of value system. If it's really important to you to have someone who hasn't done stuff like that, then you should break up with her and find someone else. But I think you should keep your cool about this and not think about it too much, and look at if she has any other negative tendancies.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (31 December 2011):
 It will be very hard to come across someone who hasn't had any sexual experience whatsoever. The only thing to do is to tell yourself that her past is none of your business, she wasn't cheating on you, she was someone else's girlfriend and they shared some intimate moments. That's it.
Today you guys are together, lets assume you end up having sex. That's fine with you, right? Ok now assume you part ways tomorrow for whatever reasons and you come across another girl who could be a potential life partner and she in turn blames YOU for whatever you've done with this girl...can you imagine how ridiculous that would be!!
Basically you are punishing your G/f for no fault of hers and for her past, which let me tell you, is nothing appalling. If those two guys were her boyfriends, then she gave them BJs because sex is a part of any normal relationship and this wasn't even penetrative sex, it was just oral action. They were all adults in mutual consenting relationships.
Of course if you still cant deal with it, then find a virgin for yourself. I'm curious though, is this your first relationship? Have you not had any prior sexual experience?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): She wasn't with you at the time she was with her ex boyfriend's, so it really has nothing to do with you. You're jealous she did sexual things with them, but you're willing to have her do these things with you and your just a boyfriend at the moment. Honestly you need to accept that she had a past before you, and that whatever happened in the past has nothing to do with you or with the way she feels about you. I don't suggest you forgive her for her past, because there is no need for you to forgive her, she hasn't done anything to you at all, she had a life before you 2 were together, and you shouldnt be judging her for the decisions she made in past relationships, only on what she does in your relationship with you. If you feel so strongly, then save all sexual relations until your marriage and only go out with women who have done the same. The ex bf are gone and she is with you, love is about accepting people as they are, no conditions to it. Find a way to get over your jealousy, if you can't do that then you will ahve to think about whether you can continue a relationship with her.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Its understandable that you would be jealous of your girlfriend sharing intimate moments with someone else.
BUT you need to look at it from this perspective:
1. Its the past
(she didn't know you then to know better)
2. If those other guys were so great for her then she would still be with them now doing the same things
3. she is with you NOW so try living in the moment and disregard her past if you really love her, because love is about forgiveness too ;)
4. work on your own self worth... you must be a great guy otherwise she wouldn't have shared such private information with you by being HONEST
(ie she feels she can trust you to tell you in depth things)
If you feel you cant control the jealousy, just remember the things i wrote above. It will help to clarify this situation for you.
What you feel is entirely natural... but keep it in perspective... prehaps she did those things in her past because it was what she felt compelled to do at the time. It does not make her a bad person. We've all made mistakes !
Forgive her. Accept it. Let it go. Or it will ruin your relationship.
I hope this helps!
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