A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I met a few months ago. We started having sex the third time we met (she initiated). First I thought to myself "great, no more boring lengthy dating". The first few times were like normal sex (I led and she followed) but since then she got kinkier and preferred to lead. The first kinky night, she tied me to bed posts and did most of the work. She was good and I enjoyed it. My eyes wide open when I saw her huge collection of sex toys. That's when I learn that she likes to dominate. I love her and am willing to do anything to keep her happy. It was something new that I never experienced with other women I had been with. Even though I enjoyed this new dominatrix, I didn't like when she pushed her slim dildo up my behind when I was tied up. It didn't hurt but I felt like my manhood was violated. When I mentioned that to her afterward, she told me to forget the manhood idea. She said sex is just sex. Is she right? Honestly I'm afraid that her dildo play might turn me into gay one day if she does it often enough. :-(
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 You cant turn gay, so please get rid of this misconception first. People don't become gay overnight. How do these terrible delusions even come into being? Sigh!
Anyway, coming to your question, it is for you to decide what is acceptable or not. You have to learn to communicate with your partner.
If you feel something is not right, SAY IT.
If you feel violated, SAY IT.
It is between the two people involved, to draw the lines when it comes to physical intimacy. We cannot say what is right or wrong, whether its acceptable or not, that's for the both of you to figure out.
A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 I'm not sure what your asking here.Is it that you did enjoy it - but are afraid you might turn gay?ORIs it that she violated your trust and did something you really dont like?If its the first, then let me tell you - nothing in this world cn turn someone gay (or straight or bi). Many many straight men enjoy some form of anal play as part of their sexual activities. That does not mean any of them are gay. The prostate gland (found just inside the anus) is very sensitive, and lots of men enjoy this area being stimulated. Others prefer outer stimulation only. Either way its all good, and adds a fun dynamic to sex. Its nothing to feel guilty about.If its the 2nd question.. then you have every right to feel that way. She did not ask before she performed such a personal act, and then dismissed your protests. I think you need to talk (regardless of whether you enjoyed it or not) and set some boundaries. Obviously her sexual tastes vary from yours (or at least from what you have experienced up to now). Why dont you discuss her tastes and yours. Find things you both want to try (or to continue) and move from there. Once you have some common ground, you can begin to experiment - with PERMISSION!Hope that helps x
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 In my humble (and devilish) opinion, this is just not right. It's a sexual practice you don't like, and she should respect the fact that you don't like it. I wouldn't be saying anything different if a girl didn't like anal sex and you dismissed her complaint with a "Relax, it's just sex". Of course it is, but that is evading the point. The point is that you don't like it, period.
Devilish me thinks that this is not a small thing. If you let her get away with this, you will have to let her get away with anything else.
I also beg to disagree with the women who have given opinions here AND with Madame Dominatrix. How can I say this in a way everyone will understand? Well, quite frankly, it's your ass, man, and you should have a say in what gets into it. If she can't respect that, well, that is a serious problem.
I'm beginning to suspect that she feels she got herself another toy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 December 2011):
 if you like it (and many straight men do enjoy anal play) then enjoy it.
you can't TURN gay and just because you like to be anally penetrated (the best way to stimulate the prostate) does not mean you are gay or bi.
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A
female
reader, Soul Writer +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Well, for starters, there are other ways the could dominate if she preferred to and you were okay with it. If this act of hers is bothering you so much, I would recommend telling her, and asking her not to do it anymore. Instead, have some other ideas that you could perform in bed, and bring them up. Also, my beliefs are you're either gay or not. I don't think someone has the power to "turn" someone gay. Being gay is a feeling, and I don't think you have to worry about that because it seems to me that you enjoy your lady friends. :)
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Dude, you cant TURN gay =/
Especially not from your girlfriend putting things up your ass.
If you're uncomfortable, just say straight up, it's uncomfortable. If it's just about manly pride, then you really shouldn't be that worried about stuff like that. If you're thinking "I'm gay if I like stuff up my ass", you're wrong. Men have nerves up therre anyways.
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