A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 29 and my ex boyfriend is 28. We had a very sweet and loving relationship. We had great times together. We would be so happy and sweet just like in the movies. BUT, if we had arguements it always escalated in him breaking up with me. Now I know that I can be difficult at times and nag a lot. But I don't think the small things I say or do should cause him to break up. But I do understand that he reached a breaking point. He tried to break up with me several times during some of these arguements. But I always end up begging and crying him to take me back. He was always really hurt and felt like he did not have a choice but to break up with me, even though he loved me deeply. He would always cry. But, he became less and less emotional about it when he breaks up with me. But everytime we got back together. I could trully feel that he loved me and he was sincerely in love with me and I was so happy. I did not care about the arguements we have because the topics are things that I can dismiss but he couldn't for some reason? Now last week we went on a small holiday with his friends and he broke up with me there in front of all his friends. He was crying when he announced it to his friends who has now became my friends as well. I felt embarassed and just agreed. I couldn't do anything else as he did it in front of a crowd. He was not happy the whole trip. Perhaps it as a way to get rid of me, as he's tried to dump me by phone, mail, throw my stuff. But everytime he looks at me he melts and take me back cuz he has feelings for me and I can see that. I only called him once and it has been a week of no contact. In that conversation, I told him that I agreed with the breakup and hope he will do well. He took a day off from work and sounded miserable. He kept repeating that he wishes me all the happiness in the world. I told him that I was going to look for help for my behavior because I had his problem before with my other boyfriends. I told him that I hope that we can get back together if I fixed these problems and he doesn't know if we will in the future, because he doesn't want to make the same mistake again. He just wants to focus on himself and move on even though it hurts. I really want him back. Do you think there is still hope? He ended the conversation by telling me that he loves me. I did not call contact him again. But my stuff is still at his house. He also said that he is so crazy about me, I am perfect for him, but he just can't stand the arguements and hes tried too many times. And in order for him to see if it has really changed, he needs to be in a relationship with me again and he doesn't know if he has the strength for it anymore. He also told all his family and friends that we broke up. I know something that is bothering him was that he did not sport as much and plan his stuff when he was with me cuz he always wanted to cuddle with me and became lazy. I am afraid that he will forget me. I can not think well and am desperate to get him back. Please help.. Let me know what you think.. Thanks in advance!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2014): From my experience, He just doesn't want to be with you anymore, He probably does love you and cares for you, but he just can't handle all the fighting anymore, and you crying everytime he tries to break up with him, it's probably driving him away. I had a boyfriend who did that to me all the time, every time I tried to break up, he started crying and begging, and I fell for it, because I cared for him, but we weren't right for each other, and it only made it harder for him to move on when I actually managed to break up with him, and made it easier for me to realise that I didn't need someone so emotionally unstable in my life. Walk away with some dignity, don't contact him,. and try to move on. If it's meant to be, it'll be, when the time is right. You desperatly clinging on to him right now, will only push him further away.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 July 2014):
 You pushed him too hard for too long and he snapped. This was bound to happen OP, I mean think about it...how much can a person take? A relationship should be simple, happy and uncomplicated...of course fights and disagreements are a part of life but they shouldn't take over your life. You should know when to draw the line, when to stop nagging, when to give in and when to be mature.
The poor guy knew that he couldnt deal with a break-up with you with in private because you would start crying and he would have no option but to take you back so he make a scene in public to make sure you get the message loud and clear. Im sure he must have hated it but imagine how far he must have been pushed to have taken such a step!
If you want to show him that you've changed then DO NOT contact him. Work on yourself and your insecurities and take this incident as a huge lesson. The reason he's told everyone around him that you've broken up is because he wants to make sure that its Over for Good. He doesnt want the silly games where he breaks up and you cry and he takes you back unwillingly only for it to all begin again. Enough is enough and he's made his stand clear.
If you ask me OP, now is the time to show him and yourself that you can do better.
Conduct yourself with dignity. Stop being a silly teenager. You need to know how to handle a relationship before you step into one.
Also, what did you argue about so much that it pushed him away? Was it something to do with him or was it just you?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 July 2014):
 If you find yourself nagging, that's because there are things in men you can't stand. Women have a checklist of things that men have to follow in order to be happy while men are just content with having someone to love, and a woman who loves them back. In general women have to lower their expectations and men have to understand that when a woman nags it is not to attack his character but to make things better because something needs changing. So it's not just you who needs to change. He needs to grow a thick skin too. Maybe you could find a man who does not get on your nerves so much. Always breaking up is not a good sign. You will find that you are drained from this also. That's why you agreed to the break up too. If you can learn from this, that the most important thing a man needs is unconditional acceptance, then perhaps the next relationship for you would be a breeze and that guy won't have to feel the pain of not being good enough for you.
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