A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do boys lead girls on, kiss you, hug you, act like they care for you. then when it comes to it they 'don't want a relationship'?I was with my ex for almost a year and a half, it was so perfect to begin with, we were so in love, we broke up and loads of stuff happened, he basically used me when I thought we were gonna get back together and he used the line 'I don't want a relationship' when I found out he's got a girlfriend as of yesterday, why lie to me? And use me, make me believe we had a chance again, because he knows how much I've always loved him. He is free to do as he wishes I know, but why drag me into it and lead me on, why couldn't he just let me go and live my life.I'm so upset finding this out, I really haven't felt like myself all day.. I don't know what to do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (26 June 2009):
It's weird to say, but I think your ex-boyfriend imagined that he was sparing your feelings by his behavior, also perhaps is not quite sure of the situation with the new girl he's seeing, so he wants to keep you on the back burner. I think it was very mature of you to create distance between you two and not be dragged around, and that many women could learn from your decisiveness. Some of us(myself included) have kept hoping that the new situation was just a fling and that the man would realized his mistake and be back.
Still, it is heartbreaking to lose someone you've loved deeply! I feel for you and
hope that you are getting along ok. Keep in touch with the Agony Aunts! This guy is confused and young and may eventually turn out to be a good friend.
But for now, I hope that you are doing better, and with summer coming, I'm sure there's a great guy around who would absolutely love to meet you!
Love,
Manya
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (23 June 2009):
I don't mean to be harsh, but have you ever heard that you teach people how to treat you? A lot of times, guys that are your ex will try to be your "friend" and start showing you some extra attention because they know you're comfortable having sex with them since you have in the past. If you keep true to yourself and lay down some ground rules (either for yourself or between the two of you)and don't allow someone to walk all over you, you'll feel better at the end. And I know it's hard, I've fallen into this trap before too. But if your ex comes around acting extra friendly, in the future, just keep it as it is:friendly. Because as soon as you let your guard down, letting the emotions flow, and/or sleeping with them; this is the time they back off since they got what they wanted.
So even though you totally feel used and betrayed, just keep your chin up. Keep this guy out of your life since he obviously doesn't respect you. What goes around comes around and he'll get his. Just move on and find a great guy and just don't let the same thing happen again. If it's any consolation, at least you'll know better next time and know what to do in the future. You'll end of feeling smarter and having the upperhand in things :)
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 Because it works. If you could get into a girls pants by doing handstands, boys would be doing handstands. Leading girls on is the best way to get them into the sack.
I will tell you a secret. Boys want girls for sex and will do what it takes to get it.
It is up to you to either accept this or learn to spot the guys only after sex and those who are after something more. the latter are still after sex, but might stick around for a bit longer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i've deleted him off everything, msn and all that. and his number, so he can't get back in touch with me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Boys usually lead girls on in order to get laid. Or to keep getting laid after it's over.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 Don't let outside sources affect who you are inside. If you let the weather, people, ..., affect the way you feel you will rely on weather, people, ..., to make you feel good.
Guys love to have woman's attention and we enjoy the thrill of the hunt. We often find satisfaction when we brought our target down, that satisfaction doesn't last long though so we go out and hunt again for a new target.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Why give it all up when he doesn't want a relationship? I wouldn't have sex or anything until he wants to be your boyfriend. problem solved!
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