A
male
age
36-40,
*hilbaroni
writes:A few days ago my girlfriend broke it off with me after 11 months of going out. That night she sent me a text message saying "goodnight..hang in there..if we are meant to be we will get through this and become stronger people for it. I still love you and always will xoxo"I didn't reply as I know it's best to give them time.The very next day she rang me and said she's devastated and misses me and is really upset and just wanted to hear my voice. The conversation didn't last long as she was at work and I took the day off work due to be so sad and crying. She then sent a text message about 20 mins after the call saying "Hey sorry i rang you.. I just needed to hear your voice. I think it's best we give each other some space. I really hope you do sort yourself out. Im so sorry. Please keep in touch...I hope that one day we can be together again. xoxo"I didn't know what to make of it and about 20 minutes after that she rang and spoke to me for much longer on her lunch break saying she just wanted to make sure I understood her message. I said to her it's obvious she still loves me and wants to be with me but just needs some time to find herself and then we can work things out. She agreed.The night she breaks it off she is really really upset, i rang her about 2 hours that night and then she messages me that first message above. Second day she rings, messages and rings again. It is now the 3rd day and only lunch time but haven't heard from her. I told her it could take a week to a few weeks to feel better and get sort our heads out and she said it could take a few months. My question is what are the chances of getting back together, and should I try and call her or see her within a week or how much time should I wait before I make contact. And if not should I answer all her calls or ignore them for a while? any advice would be really appreciated.Further background info, niether of us cheated or didn't anything horribly wrong, we used to argue and fight alot but before the break up we had a good 2 months of no issues at all until recently. The reason was this time round that due to all the fights we have ever had she doesnt want to get hurt or hurt me and doesnt think we have a future. Yet we are best friends also. Any questions just ask please!
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male
reader, philbaroni +, writes (21 June 2009):
philbaroni is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone, just wanted to say thanks heaps to the male reader, q1605 your advice was very good. I actually read these answers after we got back together!!
The reason she kept ringing even though she broke it off was she loves me so so much and missed me so much. We are also best friends. I think sometimes we just spend too much time together. IE 6 nights a week at each others place. Both living with parents too sucks! She rang and wanted to know why I hadn't contacted her, i said because you needed space you said so yourself. After that she came over and we made up. It really gave us a couple of painful days to work out what we need to change and fix up to treat one another better.
Well it all worked out for the best and I thank you all for answering. Thanks!!!
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (20 June 2009):
I think you are doing well at handling it so far, but I definitely think you should be a little more distant from her. She decided to end the relationship so she really should quit doing this to you, it isn't fair. You're allowing her to come in and out of your life as she pleases. Definitely give her the "space" that she wants. I would suggest being upfront with her and telling her that you two need to cut off the contact and separate for the time being. That is the only way two people can really clear their heads and figure out what they really want. I know it's hard at first, but as time goes on, I think you may even realize that she's not the right person for you. Were the fights really worth another shot at a relationship? Are your personalities really compatable with each other? I think you should put some of these things into consideration. There are so many people out there and someone that can make you happier. Keep your options open. She's not the only girl in the world. Also, if she isn't going to respect your decision to want no contact and still persists and leads you on with the phone calls and texts, then just ignore her. You told her what's up and she needs to respect that.
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A
female
reader, Ashboo2yu +, writes (20 June 2009):
 She is Confused about the whole relationship. I felt that way about someone before... she is thinking to herself if this can work. Us females think about the future and not the present time and she is thinking about you relationship for the future and she doesn't see it going anywhere because of the arguing. She is hurt as much as you. All you can do is sit with her face to face and really talk it out and shed some tears. That's your love. Wish you luck.
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