A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so Im 15. I'll be 16 in less than 3 months and I have no freedom. My parents will not let me go out with friends unless they're there. I have a bf that only my mom knows about cause my dad would kill him and she doesn't want him to know. So now i have to lie to my father about him. Im sick of being daddy's little girl i just wanna be able to have a little of freedom. I mean im responsible. Im a faithful christian and wear a purity ring, i follow all they're rules. I don't have partying friends. Infact most of the time they just want me to go to the mall with them. Ugh, How can i get to get my parents to understand im growing up and im not a little kid anymore?Help plz.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (18 June 2009):
I'm not sure how much help anyone can give you, because at your age, it's hard to get through to your parents that you are responsible enough to stay out of trouble. I had fairly strict parents as well growing up, and I was hardly allowed to even go to my friends' houses; they would always prefer that they came over so that I didn't have to leave the house.
Really, they are just trying to look out for you in your best interest; they love you and want to protect you. However, as frustrating as it is, try talking to them and setting up some sort of plan/ground rules. As annoying as it will be, ask them to go somewhere (movies or wherever) and let them know who you are going to be with, what time the movie starts, and when it will be over. That way, maybe they will have some comfort in knowing where you're at and when you should be home. Just let them know that you want to earn their trust and the only way you can do that is for them to give you a chance.
As much as it probably doesn't makes sense to you now, when you're older you'll probably understand the way your parents are. I totally didn't get it either, I was responsible and tried to stay out of trouble. But it only led to me lying to my parents or sneaking out and doing thing they definitely did NOT want me to do. Looking back now and thinking about myself having kids one day, I definitely don't want them doing the things that I did. And maybe your parents have some crazy past that they of course wouldn't share with you to encourage you. But they know what's out there and don't want you to make mistakes. Just do whatever you can for now to earn their trust and don't screw it up!
A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (18 June 2009):
Start slow maybe. Like with an hour or so and go with the girlfriends only at first. "Can I go to the mall with Lindsey for just an hour, you can drop me off and pick me up." Once they see that you are trustworthy they will slowly ease up. BUT you have to actually BE trustworthy. If you get freedom and start lying to them it will break that trust and u will be back to square one. Talk with them instead of arguing (if thats an issue) it will show them your not a kid and your growing up and can be responsible for yourself. Just keep in mind this world can be an ugly ruthless place, your parents have seen it more than you have and they are just trying to keep you safe, their not trying to be mean, so dont resent them for it!
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