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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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I denied a guy orgasm and now I feel bad. What should I Do?
Q. I am an 18 year old girl with an intense foot fetish. I am aroused by other girl's feet, but I'm not a lesbian, as in I still enjoy sex with males. I also get extremely turned on when someone licks the soles of my feet. So recently I was out with ...
A. 12 October 2013: Nothing, I can still remember my first gf in high school doing the same thing to me. I still hate her or it... (read in full...)
Any insight on why he disappeared?
Q. So here's my story, a guy i know since childhood but havent seen since years starts to hit on me and gets in touch for several weeks before things turned romantic. Since we live in different countries we were basicly texting all the time. At some ...
A. 10 October 2013: Long distance relationships rarely flower so that's the culprit... (read in full...)
Married, open relationship, and now divorce?
Q. I need you guys opinions, please. Here's my situation: My wife and I knew each other since for about 8 years. We got married on 2011 so it would be almost 2 years of marriage. We both agreed on having an open relationship as long as in the end we w...
A. 10 October 2013: read aunty babbit and say times two... (read in full...)
He makes jokes about religion, but I'm religious
Q. The man I want to be with, always makes jokes about "aliens" being out there, and maybe they are the ones who created us. I am a God fearing woman, and when someone makes jokes about whom I worship, I take it to heart and it upsets me. He does not ...
A. 9 October 2013: I was him for years and years then the Holy Spirit came and wacked me upside the head with a board. I still joke about religion...I like him joke about everything. If you take things too seriously you'll end up mad about everything. My ... (read in full...)
Help I have pushed him away
Q. Help I am ruining my relationship! Okay my boyfriend is sweet and caring. All he thought about was me. Wanted to spend time with me. Always texting me. Holding me tight in bed. Was so good. But I became a nag constant. Always horrible. Never ...
A. 9 October 2013: This may not be a newsflash but men sre NOT great at communication. In fact, the last thing a man wants to do is talk about his day or his feelings. Women are comunicators, men are "doers' I know this is of little to no help but if you're waiting ... (read in full...)
What is the right age do you think, to settle down and have a family?
Q. When do you think people ussualy start thinking about settling down? My daughter is 27, her boyfriend will be 30 in a couple months. They both have good jobs, but live with 4 other roomates. its a big house in a very expensive city. I just vis...
A. 9 October 2013: Age is a nebulous concept, ergo the right age to get married is whenever the couple think they ought to. As long as they are mature and happy, who cares if they're 25 or 55? I know as a father myself I thought any age was too early. The problem ... (read in full...)
I've become the maid and babysitter in my house because of the way my wife now acts. What can I do?
Q. i am 35 and my wife is 30 we have been married a year but together almost 6 years. we have sex maybe 1-2 times ever other month. before that about 1 year ago it was 1-3 times amonth, we have a son together and her 8 yr old daughter whom believes im ...
A. 9 October 2013: As you sit feeling sorry for yourself there are at least 5 million men that would trade plsces with you in a second, you get sex more than most married men and get to be with the kids more than most fathers. I think you might want to count your ... (read in full...)
He said sex was "alright". what does that mean?
Q. New guy asked me what I think about the sex we had I said it was good/great. His response how he feels was " it's. Alright". What's that suppose to mean? He is the dominate sex partner if it's not good enough he should do more to make it good. I ...
A. 1 October 2013: It means either he's an idiot and can't expess himself or he wants you to feel meanial. Either way he's a jerk...why stay?... (read in full...)
Former FWB situation--am I just too available for him?
Q. I am love with my best friend. I lived with him for a year and helped him through some tough health issues including cancer. We were friends with benefits and had a great time, playing, laughing, teasing. Then a girl came back from his past and was ...
A. 1 October 2013: You wish has it nailed...the whole FWB thing is just kinda stupid anyway. Sex is about more than just friendship. I have several friends that I'd never dream of having sex with...they're too wierd and they're guys. I don't do guys.... (read in full...)
Should I worry that she wants to get herself off after sex?
Q. I'm 36, I've been married to my wife for 3 years and we never had any big sex-related problem or issue. Since a few months ago I started noticing that she was not satisfied anymore after we were done in bed. Not that she would tell me before, but ...
A. 1 October 2013: If you approach sex with the mindset that your function is to provide your partner with as much pleasure as possible then you might have a better combination of love making. "After we were done"??? you mean asfter your were done. You left her ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend scamming me??
Q. Is my boyfriend scamming me?? Here I am still in this 13 year relationship and it has been so long I don't even know if what I feel for him is love. Added to that are the arguments we have quite often. Of course, he still looks around every cha...
A. 30 September 2013: Look, if there is no trust then there is no relationship. Why not dump this loser and find someone you can trust?... (read in full...)
Why can't he cum during oral sex?
Q. During oral sex my boyfriend gets himself close to cumming and his breathing changes and all these normal things but he can't!! I'm pretty sure it's not me because he has no problem with handjobs and when he's in the shower he can't. In pretty sure ...
A. 30 September 2013: Maybe he doesn't really enjoy oral sex. Some guys don't. They were raised to see it as a taboo.... (read in full...)
Our first anniversary is here and he has porn on his phone and a hidden facebook account, I feel disgusted!
Q. My husband has been good to me in the past 12 months of our marriage however, i have recently found him out to be having pornography (pictures) in his cell phone and he also keeps a facebook account he told me he lost some two years back. His sole ...
A. 30 September 2013: As well you should be...a facebook account? (how old is he 12?) porn on the phone will get the N.S.A. on his butt. Why are you still there?... (read in full...)
Did Karma use me for sex because I tried to use her for sex?
Q. Is Karma with merit? I ask this because what I did to another person seems to be happening to me now. I'm bisexual and I was trying to use a nice woman for sex but it never panned out. She found out what I was really about as far as only wanting to ...
A. 30 September 2013: In the south they have a saying,"What goes around, comes around" Could be you need to rethink your orientation somewhat.... (read in full...)
Would you wish your ex a happy birthday?
Q. She broke up with me and we've been no contact since she greeted me for MY birthday, two weeks after the break up. We've been friends for almost 6 years (on and off) before the romantic relationship. She contacted me only once after the BU, wh...
A. 30 September 2013: Ah, well, complete strangers wish me a happy birthday sometimes so why not someone you know? I mean have you every gone to a resturaunt where a group of goofy waiters and waitresses gather at your table and scream out a very bad off key Happy ... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't think I should take my expensive purse on vacation with us! How do I address this?
Q. I recently purchased a $400-valued Coach handbag and I carry it everywhere with me. My family and I are visiting relatives in east Asia this winter, and my mom is concerned that my handbag will attract unwanted attention and thieves. While I ...
A. 30 September 2013: Not being female, I'll never understand why anyone would spend that much on a purse to begin with. Being that as it may..The real question is "Who's money paid for that thing?" If she paid for it out of her money then obey her wishes...If you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I don't have enough experience
Q. My boyfriend told me last night that he is concerned that I don't have enough sexual experience for him to get more serious about our relationship. He is concerned that since I have only been in one other serious relationship that I cant be ready ...
A. 25 September 2013: No he's just being an ass. It's his way of bragging and tell you he's "better" than you are. I'd even suggest he's a dimwit and probably not worth your time or emotional investment but I am VERY opinionated so with a graib of salt you know... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 25 September 2013: You call them stretch marks, I call them life lines... (read in full...)
Asking a guy out over facebook- urgent help?
Q. Ok, so I want to send a fb message to this guy who I was studying with (our course is over, as of last week). I was intending to make a move last week, in person, but never got the chance. So now I'm resorting to facebook even though I know he ...
A. 23 September 2013: You'd be better off meeting a guy in a bar than on Facebook. Social media is fo 12 year olds... (read in full...)
Any tips on coping with body issues/insecurity?
Q. Any tips on coping with body issues/insecurity? In a couple months, I will be seeing a man I haven't seen in almost 20 years. We have been chatting a lot online, and I'm pretty sure his visit will be a romantic one. I'm anxious because I'm n...
A. 23 September 2013: There are probably less than 1 in 100 that feel good looking in a mirror. We all have body issues(overwieght is one of them.(having a small "package") is another. I could go on and on. Why not relax and see where the relationship goes before ... (read in full...)
I found out husband is taking viagra. Is he lying to me about the reason?
Q. my husband is way. I found he took some Viagra with him. I asked him why did he need it? He said he need it when he feel like to have a sex and he will do it by himself with out any partner? I don't believe him.To you, it is a case? And do you think ...
A. 23 September 2013: He may simply be having trouble getting an erection and doesn't want it known to you or others or he may just be curious as to how well it does. It doesn't sound all that suspicious to me.... (read in full...)
Is it against the law to save photos from facebook?
Q. I have taken to saving pictures of girls in my class wearing bikinis from Facebook or Twitter. All I want to know is if it is first of all legal and secondly if its creepy to do so. I've never shown anyone this and nobody knows I do it. I am ...
A. 23 September 2013: Facebook and Twitter will mess you up every time stay off those juvenile sites. What a waste of time.... (read in full...)
Do I ask her before I touch more intimately?
Q. Dear all, I am very inexperienced with women, although I do currently have a lovely girlfriend who I love and adore so very much. We've been intimate with touching each other, but I just had to ask how touch can be taken further? I massage my gir...
A. 23 September 2013: Verbal confirmation is nice however, sometimes just her reactions to your actions can answer the question. Say, you're moving your hand up her thigh and she turns away slightly..that's NO! otherwise she would spread her thighs and maybe even moan ... (read in full...)
Would a penis pump work?
Q. I've thought of getting a penis pump. I'm not big, between 4.5 and 5.5 and not very thick either. I wanted to know if i use a penis pump and pump it up say just a half inch bigger everyday over a long period of time would it grow to say 6.5/7 and ...
A. 19 September 2013: If it worked at all there would not be so many various other devices out there...learn to live with it we all have to sooner or later. Once you're married it doesn't matter anyway 'cause NO ONe gives a darn anymore.... (read in full...)
Sex is painful for me after having 2 children?
Q. Feeling hopeless. Hi aunts and uncles. Sex is painful for me. Im not a virgin, by any means, my husband and I have two children together. I have read that "tenting" will help, but you must have foreplay to acheive that. My husband is not a fan of ...
A. 19 September 2013: It sounds ;like a fairly serious medical issue..go see a doctor and quit worrying about it.... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my boyfriend liking another girl
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. I have dated a lot of guys but never felt so in love until my current boyfriend. I have never thought about a future with any guy until my current boyfriend. I am attracted to him in every way. He has such ...
A. 19 September 2013: It's quite interesting... you seem to be asking a question; "Am I paranoid?" Well, the evidence is; you've been hurt before and this guy seems to be following in the same direction(except for the abusive part) so it's a hard spot for you to be in. ... (read in full...)
Why am I fantasizing about a man I don't know?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a really great relationship. We met at college and since we grew up in different towns, he goes back home for his summer vacations so we don't get to spend a lot of time together. I have used the free time away from him to ...
A. 17 September 2013: Fantasy is actually a healthy thing(I'm told) as long as you don't focus too much on the fantasy.... (read in full...)
My mother thinks I should use birth control but I disagree
Q. Well my mom saw my bf just yesterday but she has frequently heard about him and i that we dating. Today on the radio they were talking about how parents should oversee how their children behave. she brought the issue of taking birth control pills. ...
A. 16 September 2013: Here's one out of left field. What if you mom sees your boyfriend as a poor DNA mix for her future grandchild. For example; Let's say for instance that he has a big nose and she doesn't want and grandson with a big nose? I may be way out of line ... (read in full...)
I think of my friend during sex. I'm confused!
Q. My best friend is a guy and his name is Chris. Anyway my best friend and I almost never see each other but we talk almost every day. Sometimes i feel like he is the only thing keeping me sane and he's said the same about me. It has never been sexual ...
A. 16 September 2013: you are not in control of your subconcious so don't fret over it. I bet if you ever did have a fling with Chris he would be a dissappointment so han in there with the one you have now and go ahead with the fantasy if it works to help get you off.... (read in full...)
He's looking at porn on his phone instead of being in our bedroom with me dressed all nice and sexy! Is this normal?
Q. my fiance watches porn everyday every chance he can while i am in our bedroom dressed all nice and sexy (so i thought) waiting for him.when it foednt hapen i be all sexy makin a move on him but he always says he doesnt feel like it but yet i find ...
A. 16 September 2013: If it hurts then stop doing it. If he is passing you up for images from the ethernet then his brain is mush and he'll drown in his own goo someday.... (read in full...)
Should I just move on even if I still have feelings for her?
Q. OK, there's this girl with whom I had the most tortuous, hot/cold relationship possible...we'd known each other for several years and it wasn't until the last couple of years when we were starting to look like an "ítem"...what would usually happen ...
A. 16 September 2013: Yeah, well if you like self flagaltion(beating yoursef up every few weeks only to be thrust into an awkard coling off period whereupon you know there will be even more heartache sooner or later then by all means stay with this stupid "relationship" ... (read in full...)
How can I stop the leaking after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now… Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me? whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especial...
A. 12 September 2013: Place a towel down Before you get going. The messy part is the best part. The afterglow from great sex is to be reveled in and enjoyed to the max.... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 12 September 2013: So let me see, according to his logic we should all remain 21 years old and run around the house nude. Those days are over dude. Life has a way of stepping in and slapping the heck outa us all. Nobody stays young and sexy for more than a few ... (read in full...)
Any tips how not to be negative towards myself and be positive?
Q. How have people got them selves motivated? And aim towards goals.. I'm in a rut of a life cycle , I have a basic job with naf pay and feel I can't move foward with life.. I feel I'm going no where. I'm not depressed as I work etc but I kn...
A. 12 September 2013: There are a zillion "self help" books out there all of which say basicaslly the same sort of thing; set goals,write them down, find a partner to help you achiechive things one step at a time etc. etc. It could be that you are simply overwhelmed ... (read in full...)
Do you think that me having a low self esteem is giving off a bad vibe to guys?
Q. Dear Cupid I have never had a boyfriend, never had a guy ask me out, and have been rejected by every guy that I end up liking. All of my friends have had boyfriends except me, and I feel left out. To top it all off, the guy I currently like doesn't ...
A. 11 September 2013: Friends are nice! Nurture the frienship! From every rosebush a rose does grow.... (read in full...)
What do guys like during foreplay?
Q. I have a q: when in bed with a guy, during foreplay, as a woman what kind of things do you do to him (if you're not really into oral sex!), and for the guy what kind of things do you like? Being a woman, I know the kind of things to expect from a...
A. 11 September 2013: Men love to hear a woman talk dirty. Now I don't mean swearing and all that porn talk, but talk about his first time with another woman. Ask him what She did-details ask for details.... (read in full...)
Can I trust a marriage counsellor to keep my confidentiality or will s/he tell my wife everything I say?
Q. My wife and I have been going through a rough patch lately. I think we need to see a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. I am not sure if the rules regarding confidentiality are different for each, but I am wondering if what I say will ultimately ...
A. 11 September 2013: If you have to ask the question then it means you don't trust the person to begin with. If he/she did tell the "secret" and your wife found out. What would happen? Pretend that the secret would be told and go from there.... (read in full...)
The spark is gone, help!
Q. Ok so im going out with my boyfriend just over a year we moved in a month after we started dating. I love him but it feels like the spark has gone. He gets on great with my family and i get on great with his. He is very funny and we have the same ...
A. 11 September 2013: Could be he has "moved on" intellectually and has left the relationship. Why not just confront him about it?The worst thing(and maybe the best thing) is he would break up and tell you the truth.... (read in full...)
How to tell my sister the disturbing news about her husband that he is player?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need your advice. I had disturbing news about my younger brother-in-law from a friend who works at the same place and I try to digest it. She says that he is a player and emotional seeker. According to her, she plays games to lead the...
A. 11 September 2013: consider the source. This is a weak set of "facts" to move on. A friend told me that others told her. Do you really want to go blow up a relationship over such weak evidence? Sometimes the best option is the do nothing option.... (read in full...)
Should I buy my boyfriend a few toiletries that he can keep at my place or is it overbearing?
Q. I'm 31 and have been dating my guy for 6 weeks. Over the past few weeks we've gotten pretty close and he's been spending 1-2 weeknights and all weekend at my apartment. He has a toothbrush at my apartment, but no other practical stuff ...
A. 20 August 2013: Nope, I wouldn't do it. It might appear too presumptive and he might feel pressured to actually move in. Plus, would you want him picking out your deoderant and other personal things? I thought not.... (read in full...)
Why do I fall for guys so quickly?
Q. I dont understand why but if any guy gives me any kind of attention i seem to fall at their feet. I'm not the kind of girl that goes for looks, i always prefer personality. And i know this mind sound big headed but i'm not some terrible looking girl ...
A. 20 August 2013: My first thought is low self esteem. There are a million books out there that deal with that vey issue.... (read in full...)
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