A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a q: when in bed with a guy, during foreplay, as a woman what kind of things do you do to him (if you're not really into oral sex!), and for the guy what kind of things do you like? Being a woman, I know the kind of things to expect from a man - fondling breasts, fingers inside and rubbing over clitoris, and maybe some playful bum spanking, but what do men like and expect?I mean I wouldn't feel right playing with a mans bum, and there seems to be only so much you can play with his penis before he is ready for sex, right? I always feel like the guy pays me more attention more than him, I mean I rub over his chest and have a good feel of his shoulders and arms when we're kissing and runy fingers over his stomach. What can I do with his legs? He has the most incredible legs ever and I love to squeeze them, I could eat them!! But somehow the focus always seems to be getting me wet and ready for sex. Is this what everyone else experiences?What would you guys like?I've been seeing someone new and I want to blow him away and make him want me like I want him.Ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2013): Definitely a conversation to have with him. Personally I prefer the giving part of foreplay, when it precedes sex (when I say prefer I mean that very loosely). I'm a guy I don't need to be aroused other than seeing my wife naked or even thinking about her naked. I like to be the one in control of her pleasure and making sure she has lots of it if I initiate.
But she's my wife it all depends on the mood, who initiates, amount of alcohol involved, whether she wants to be dominant, whether it's a quickie, whether it's a stress reliever for one of us etc.
If you're wondering specifically what I like when she wants to orchestrate, then I like to be controlled and dominated. I don't mean in a BDSM sense I mean in a sense that I'm not a woman, I don't get off on a soft caress unless it's done to tease, I like to be grabbed by shoulders and have my chest licked or my nipples bitten.
For me the best foreplay when she's the giver is she when pins me down so she can take control, kiss/lick my neck and ears, whisper in my ear, holds down my arms so I can't feel her up or just sits on top of me and let's me play with her breasts and get a nice view. Squeezes my biceps hard and bites them.
Basically for me the best thing is when a woman enjoys my strength, doesn't just say she could eat me but actually tries, in a gentle way of course.
OP you want to know what the definition of wild is for me? A woman who just wants to throw you on the bed and have her way with you. Doesn't let you talk, doesn't let you touch her, pins you down and just rides you like a cowgirl. That's what I love. I like that more than a tease to be honest, and when you hear guys talk about how great a woman is because she's wild in bed, what they're talking about is one who just can't get enough.
Talk to him OP, find out how he likes it. Maybe he's like me and likes to be thrown around, or maybe he likes the tease.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 September 2013):
 I love Aunty Babbit but if I did what she suggested to my husband I'd end up in the hospital. He's so very ticklish that i can NEVER touch him with anything but a VERY firm strong grip.
I've pretty much given up on foreplay...
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (12 September 2013):
 In my experience a lot of men get really turned on by watching a woman enjoy herself so I wouldn't worry if the foreplay is all about you, lie back and enjoy it, just let him know how much you like it haha ;)
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 September 2013):
How about the next time you guys are intimate you slow it down and tell him that you'll touch, lick, kiss, fondle, etc. anywhere he likes.
Have him do the same to you. You may find he goes crazy when you suck on his ear lobe. Or maybe he likes his toes licked, butt fondled, nipples pinched, face slapped, nose picked, etc.
This exercise can really help you get to know each other.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 September 2013):
 Tricky question, because everyone is different. You seem to have a pretty good handle on this so far. You see much of the focus on getting you ready. This is fairly typical because men don't need so much getting ready. Your final remark is the best indicator of your understanding. You said you want to make him want you like you want him. The Number one thing to do is to make sure he knows how much you want him.
Now, on to some specifics. You are thinking only of touch. Your man has four other senses, plus curiosity. Try to spread your attention around to the other senses.
Sight. First because this is for most men the most important. Dim lighting is ok but lights out is depriving him of a pleasure center. Strip for him. Wear matching lingerie. Heck, wear any lingerie. Flash, tease, flirt, etc.
Hearing, Moans and squeals are a good start as is purring. But if you want to arouse his curiosity use words too.
Smell. Not just about perfume and scented sheets. Your natural scent is a powerful binding tool. If he has a mustache make sure you get your wetness on it. (trying to say this delicately) Either with your fingers or directly.
Taste. This one is ticklish. Every guy is different, even more so here. Personally I like dark chocolate or spicy peppers.
Just a little more of some points you raised. you are strongly attracted to his legs. That is new to me, So far you are squeezing them. You need to let him know how much you love them. Lay him on the bed the start at his feet and work your way up looking and stroking, and kissing and even biting, but especially describing and talking. You won't have to work about oral by the time you get there.
As far as out of bounds areas, you mentioned bum. That really is personal taste some guys like some, some like all, some want none. Some of this question may be what you want to do as well as what he wants to get. Communicate! Tickling is right out with my wife as an example.
A general guideline. Foreplay can be a lot of work for a guy. So what I really hate is working away while she is distracted or reading or whatever. What I really like is when she keeps me entertained as I'm getting her ready. I'm more likely to give more foreplay if I'm entertained.
FA
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 September 2013):
 Men love to hear a woman talk dirty. Now I don't mean swearing and all that porn talk, but talk about his first time with another woman. Ask him what She did-details ask for details.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (11 September 2013):
 Do you have long nails? If so paint them beautifully and then lightly graze your fingertips up and down his inner thighs very, very slowly just stopping short of the all important area and repeat the teasing. Eventually reward him by using your hands sensually with a massage oil and stroke and play with his penis paying particular attention to the head of the penis which is very sensitive.
You could massage his chest whilst you straddle him and massage your breasts whilst he watches. Men are visual creatures and he will get as much pleasure watching what you're doing as in what you're actually doing to him!
Try giving oral sex, after he's showered, and use flavoured drops (designed for this purpose) you can stop before he climaxes and perform any number of other sexual acts to help him achieve his ultimate goal. This might make it pleasurable for you too.
Of course you could always ask him what he would like you to do but I think he'll like the surprise.
Men like to be loved too but do tend to get forgotten a bit. Touching and stroking him are fabulous ways of not only turning him on but they also show him love.
I hope this helps (and yes Mr Babbit is a very VERY lucky man)
Have fun :) AB xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2013): You're asking the wrong people; ask him not us!
Hopefully not a sign on your relationship that you come to us instead of him :(
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