A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so im going out with my boyfriend just over a year we moved in a month after we started dating. I love him but it feels like the spark has gone. He gets on great with my family and i get on great with his. He is very funny and we have the same opinions on everything. He is very good to me not like any previous boyfriend. I got him a job where i am so we work together. Everything was great till about a month ago just rowing over small things constantly. We r moving into a new house tomoro i know he loves me and i wouldnt find better than him but the spark is gone we dont really kiss anymore. And most the time he is gettin on my nerves!What will i do please someone help :(
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female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (11 September 2013):
You need space, that's all i can say. Being together 24/7 can be annoying, it doesnt matter how much you love the person.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (11 September 2013):
 WiseOwlE is right, the stress of moving home etc is very draining and will be putting your relationship under huge strain and has pretty much covered it all :).
One point, that really strikes me though, is that, unlike when you first got together, you now work together too.
It's very hard to spend every minute of every day with someone and not get itchy.
I think it's important that you each have time alone, doing something away from each other. All couples and relationships need a bit a breathing space.
By having a bit of you time regularly you will have something else to talk about besides work and home when you are together. It will make you both a bit more interesting to each other too.
Try dating occasionally (to each other I mean) go out to dinner, walk beside a lake or river holding hands, see a funny movie.
Be spontaneous and show him a little affection. A hug goes such a long way and don't wait for kisses, just give them, they're free.
If despite all your best efforts you really can't stand each other anymore then you may have to call it a day, but I think this is just a blip in the road and can be overcome.
Being together is great but it's ok to each have some space for yourselves as well.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2013): Maybe the relationship has run it's course and you've run into a rut. I think you should still give it a chance.
You say you're moving into a new home. Should I assume you're purchasing the house?
I know the kind of stress purchasing a home can put on a couple. I've been through it. The bank makes you jump through so many hoops; then there is the apprehension that comes with making such a big investment. It's a long-term commitment to a lending institution, and that is a scary proposition for most. You two are moving at a pretty fast pace, and you may not have had time to really get to know each other as well as you claim.
It usually takes about the length of time you mentioned when most relationships are past the "honey-moon" phase.
You don't jump on each others bones like you used to.
Kissing isn't the big deal it once was.
You two really haven't been together that long. Purchasing a home may have put a strain on you. That can also chill down the romantic attraction you have. You live together, work together, now this? You're on top of each other around the clock. So maybe you just need to getaway.
Just leave your usual surroundings behind; even for an extended weekend. Lay-back in a strange fluffy bed, have meals served to you, don't talk about work or finances.
This suggestion may not necessarily work for the long run;
but you need time for a little unwinding and romance. You probably worked long hours and did a lot of budgeting to purchase the house. Then there's moving. This has taken it's toll, it takes nearly as long as you've been together to get through the process of purchasing the home from home-search to closing.
Even if you're just renting, you had to find a suitable place you'd both like. You had to stay within budgetary constraints, and one of you may have compromised when you really didn't want to. This may cause a little resentment,
and it does fizzle in the bedroom when people have been fighting a lot. You aren't quite as appealing when he's seen your angry face, and heard the screech in your voice from shouting. That's a big turn-off.
Fighting makes people weary of each other. You're supposed to have makeup sex. It relieves tension, and it's a way to show forgiveness. If you're always right; it's hard to feel turned-on to you, after losing a battle. So you two better make it a habit of apologizing between your spats.
A new home is a new beginning. You should sit down, talk the issues out one day at a time. Do not try to fix a dozen problems in one sitting. Talk calmly and listen to each other. Do not become accusatory, or mean. No shouting. You may be more emotional than he is, so listening to a long drawn-out speech about how unfulfilled you are, will sound more like whining. You'll lose his attention, after working together all day long.
Give him a hug at the end of the day. Kiss him for no reason. Make no big deal about it. Offer him a back rub in exchange for a foot rub. You need to bring back closeness in the bedroom; but you also need some breathing room in other areas. Someone has to initiate the process of turning things around. You can be the initiator.
You two need to find some things to do without each other; in order to establish your own space again. Then you'll miss each other; and being together will be more of a reward than an annoyance.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 September 2013):
 Could be he has "moved on" intellectually and has left the relationship. Why not just confront him about it?The worst thing(and maybe the best thing) is he would break up and tell you the truth.
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