A
male
age
36-40,
*daminio
writes:How have people got them selves motivated? And aim towards goals.. I'm in a rut of a life cycle , I have a basic job with naf pay and feel I can't move foward with life.. I feel I'm going no where. I'm not depressed as I work etc but I know I'm not happy in myself, ie confidence, financially, .. Tbf deep down its money as I haven't got the get and go to Ho for another job. I don't know I feel as though I'm not really good enough.. also I have no idea what career change I can do I'm an estate agent and hate it.. Basically I feel any change for the better I do will be pointless in the end, and then just give up.. be that the gym. Quit smoking or what ever. Any tips how not to be negative towards myself and be positive? Thank you
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (12 September 2013):
 What good advise from Older and Cerberus.
OP, you are normal. It's (unfortunately) not unusual to feel the way you do. Especially if you're an estate agent ;)
Why not go and see a life coach? Find one who offers the first session for free - many do - and get as much as you can from that session. It might give you ideas and motivation for a career change.
Have a think about what other careers you'd enjoy. There are free online tests that match your personality to certain jobs. You could take evening classes if you need to, or get a qualification through something like the Open University. If money's an issue, what better motivation than to quit the cigarettes?
You're young, you have many opportunities ahead. And you're a decent guy, working hard and trying. Remind yourself of that regularly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2013): By making realistic goals. Make your goals daily or weekly ones instead of long term ones.
My goals today were to finish work early, work out, bone my wife, cook a homemade lasagne, bathe my dogs and walk them, watch World War Z, and proof read a report my wife has compiled. I've accomplished all but two of those so I've accomplished a lot in my life because I complete goals every day.
Boning my wife and reading her report, helps maintain my marriage in the long run. Working out today and making dinner keeps me fit, it also keeps my marriage ticking because I'm a great cook with an awesome body. cleaning my dogs and walking them keeps them happy, healthy and giving me joy. Watching that movie will relax me.
You see it all helps OP, it all counts. if you can't maintain a regime to achieve long term goals then make them short term. Make a goal to work out today, and just do it. make a goal to read about the Syrian conflict tomorrow from both sides or other such personal research.
OP positivity comes from doing positive things and balancing that.
Eat well. If you have time, learn some new recipes, buy all the stuff and try it out. Go karting tomorrow or the weekend with your friends. Go to the cinema and see the new Riddick movie. Have you time to work out today? Just do it then. If going to the gym is a lot of effort then just workout at home, or go for a run. join a martial arts class, take up a new hobby and understand that long term goals may just not be good enough for you as you need a quick fix, then do lots of little things to improve your brain and physique. Read more about history, science, art, go to a museum, an exhibition, the cinema, buy roller blades or a remote control helicopter.
Just look up all the things you have never tried and use what little money you earn trying those out. Every improvement will bring you happiness, working out this evening will give you a rush of endorphins, energy and make you feel good.
Focus on short term goals for now and the rest will fall in place.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 September 2013):
 There are a zillion "self help" books out there all of which say basicaslly the same sort of thing; set goals,write them down, find a partner to help you achiechive things one step at a time etc. etc. It could be that you are simply overwhelmed with too much self-imposed pressure to be happy and successful. Why not take a long vacation and reset your mind.
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