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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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My husband expects me to work full time and perform all of the household chores
Q. My husband gets angry at me for stupid things. He wants me to be the traditional 50's wife, to cook, to clean, to do laundry and all that. I'm okay with most of that to a point; I would be more than willing to do it every day if I didn't work. My ...
A. 17 October 2016: "Rekindle" WHAT? he's an idiot that has zero respect for you if he treats you the way you present in the question. If this were the 1800's you'd understand what it was like for thousands of women trapped into what can only be described as slavery. I ... (read in full...)
Caught him looking at porn after he said he would never do it again!
Q. Caught my husband months ago lurking into porn videos. Said would never do again. Swore promised. Said was stupidness curiosity and wrong but did it. Doesn't mean anything just says computer wass there one click lead into many videos. I believed ...
A. 2 December 2013: This is an easy one in my view, If you can't deal with the fact that men love to view porn and it makes you crazy and breaks your heart when they lie about it, then peraps you need to practice living alone because the world is a sexual place and ... (read in full...)
What advice would you give to your 20 year old self
Q. What advice would you give to your 20 year old self? Financial, relationship and just general life information you wish you had known. My biggest fear is wasting my life, I think about this daily. I constantly feel like I should be doing/...
A. 18 November 2013: Probably the BEST question ever! Since I'm a very senior member of this Q and A site...I'd give myself the following bits of advice if I were to go back in time to age 20(wow,if only)
!. save every dime possible and put it into tax-free bonds
2... (read in full...)
I'm tired of paying for her daughter's clothes!
Q. Ok, my girlfriend and I have been with each other for 10 months but are not living together. She has a 11 year old daughter from a previous marriage living with her. When she takes her daughter with us shopping I'm expected to pay. When I complain ...
A. 13 November 2013: Don't pay then! If it's your money then you spend it however you want. If the 11-yr old has to go in old clothes that's too bad!... (read in full...)
I ended it so it should be easy, right?
Q. Hi all I have been with my ex for a very long time (5 years 1 month 2 days) We split 2 days ago. Its been LDR the whole time, spending weekends and holidays together. We probably average 2-3 days/week together We have both been in our j...
A. 12 November 2013: Like the song; Breaking up hard to do" getting over a break-up is never easy. just divert your attention to new things... (read in full...)
I'm hurt he ignored me!
Q. Hi OK so i just don't know what to do in this situation and who's right and wrong really. :/ I was seeing my boyfriend for 5 months. We started off lovely, then after about a month he backed off and said he wanted to take it slow. I respec...
A. 12 November 2013: To be brutally honest, I'm thinking it's like the movie title.'He's Just That into you" That might hurt and if so, I appologize but, his behaviour really is wierd for someone that is supposed to have feelings for you. Sorry, just keeping it real ... (read in full...)
My first date and he's 8 years older. How do I handle it?
Q. I'm going on a date with a guy who is 8 years older than me. He's 26 and I'm 18. People keep telling me to be more careful and to watch out because he's a lot smoother at manipulation and it'll be easier for him to persuade me to do things. But I...
A. 11 November 2013: Point one: he won't be able to relate to our likes in music or movies so skip all those kinds of topics otherwise it'll seem like you are from different planets.... (read in full...)
Defining Friends With Benefits?
Q. I always thought I knew what Friends With Benefits (FWB) meant. As I'm reading more of these questions/answers, I'm beginning to see how wrong I was and how it affected my relationships. I still have some ideas of what I think those things are but ...
A. 11 November 2013: I am so glad I grew up in an era that didn't know what FWB was. We were too busy trying to find someone to love.... (read in full...)
All I want is someone to love me! I need some advice!
Q. Here we go, I am going to try and do this without breaking down into tears . I have only been divorced since May of 2012 however my husband left in 2008 I met this man and started seeing him and at the time i didnt know he was married because he ...
A. 11 November 2013: In my mind your best bet is to get away from this cretan and find a real human.... (read in full...)
Caught him looking at porn after he said he would never do it again!
Q. Caught my husband months ago lurking into porn videos. Said would never do again. Swore promised. Said was stupidness curiosity and wrong but did it. Doesn't mean anything just says computer wass there one click lead into many videos. I believed ...
A. 11 November 2013: WEll, you could hire a hit man or divorce him...OR get over yourself and realize it's only natural for men to like porn as a simple distraction..I mean it's not real adultary or anything. If anything for a man it'd frustrating to see those well ... (read in full...)
Why do I experience such bad pain during sex?
Q. I'm 27 and I've been sexually active for the last 10 years but I can't explain this. Sex hurts on and off for me. This recent guy I've been seeing it hurts like a knife is going through my vagina sometimes before he even full enters me and other ...
A. 7 November 2013: I'd agree with Tisha-1 mostly!... (read in full...)
I got away from a controlling guy and got my life back, but am suffering acute anxiety. Why?
Q. Dear All, Please help - any insight would be most helpful. I have just recently got out of a really toxic relationship.( around 3 - 4 weeks ago) for good and have cut all contact. I was seeng a cruel and controlling man for around 3 years. I got ...
A. 7 November 2013: You are on the path to health..you have recognized your problem(s) and delt with many of them. It sounds like a few weeks of counceling with a "shrink" might be just the ticket to shedding the rest of your burdens. I think some therapy and even ... (read in full...)
We've been having NSA sex and I'm confused
Q. Female, 17. Soooo...there's this guy and we've been having sex on and off (no strings attached) for about a year and some change. I know he's having sex with other people...and I'm not. It kind of makes me jealous that he can just go around having ...
A. 6 November 2013: It is very sad that sex has been pushed into a devalued set of definitions that don't include real tender love and commitment. I feel sad for all you 'kids'. malama pono(ggogle it)... (read in full...)
Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from?
Q. Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from? I'm going to be 21 soon and haven't even been kissed. My best guy friend who's a man whore tells me virginity sucks and romance is dead. He said he'd sleep with me ...
A. 6 November 2013: Men value true love and virginity as much now as they always did, It's modernday pressures that have devalued it. Movie characters make light of it but I think all men still respect a women that has saved their one-time gift" for the one they ... (read in full...)
Who should I go for? My fiance William or my soul mate Andy?
Q. I am at a relationship crossroads. I met my college sweetheart "Andy" when I was 18. We were friends for a year, and then dated for 3 and had planned to marry someday. We had typical young love problems and broke up when we graduated. He went to ...
A. 6 November 2013: Let me see? hmmmmm..."my soul mate" is not the one I'm about to marry? You have answered your own question, your soul is gonna be with you 'til you die, shouldn't your soul mate?... (read in full...)
We have some obstacles in our sex life, what's the best way to deal with them?
Q. I am a 45 year old male who has a disabled female partner. At the moment, our matress is very soft. We feel that I am far to heavy wwhen it comes to sex. Also, we are cuddling and kissing, but not having much genital sex. What is the best way to ...
A. 6 November 2013: Try google and type in kama sutra. a book written 400BC and has over 100 sex positions.... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my job in this company!
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. I really could do with some advice. It is a long one, but bear with me, I need to get it all out to get the best advice and I really am at my wits end. So, I work in a small advertising company, I have been here just o...
A. 6 November 2013: I would consult a to see if there are any circumstances that could be construed as beyond the scope or "unjust cause". Your situation is a great reminder to us all to document everything and keep an accurate journal whether we think it's needed or ... (read in full...)
Any kind words or bits of advice on surviving this breakup?
Q. Hey guys. I'm an regular aunt on this page. I'm in need of some help and kind words myself at this moment. My gf broke up with me a couple of days ago and I'm hurting really badly. She has serious anxiety and has difficulty separating one is...
A. 6 November 2013: I'm sorry you're going through this anguish. I actually remember all too clearly when my "first love" said those last words to me over the phone. That night I thought I would die with heartbreak. She on the other hand was not as bi-polar sounding ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my boyfriend being friends with this cheater?
Q. My boyfriend is friends with a girl who cheats on her boyfriend with a lot of guys. (she even admits it) I'm not trying to judge her but I feel uncomfortable with her being friends with my boyfriend. I've met her and have been around her. She ...
A. 6 November 2013: The short answer is yes..you should be worried about it if you care about him at all,'cause temptation knocks and hemight answer. hormones are stronger than a boy's brain!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend watching mother/son porn,should I be worried???
Q. I've been in relationship with this guy for 8 months( we are same age),and I always knew he likes older women witch i think its normal,but recently I find out he was watching porn mother son type ,where guy is seduce by his mother while dad is at ...
A. 6 November 2013: Yuk! even I won't dwell on mom porn for more than a few minutes.the only "defense" for him I can conjure up is mature women are sexy as long as it's someone else's mom.... (read in full...)
My friend and my husband are flrting and texting. Please help!
Q. My friend and my husband have been flirting with each other for some time. Texting each other a lot. Her son is also a friend of my son so the situation is very delicate. I noticed my husband watching her if we were in company and following her ...
A. 6 November 2013: I don't get it? They are either pranking you or just goofing around and watch your reaction as something funny. Sounds kind of childish to me... (read in full...)
Why can't I 'finish' with my girlfriend or even by myself?
Q. kinda embarrassed about this but here goes: i bm having trouble finishing during sex with my gf. it's always been a problem for me since i was a teenager. whenever i masturbate, sometimes i cum/finish but sometimes i don't. it's been the same with ...
A. 6 November 2013: My guess(since I'm older and can relate) is enlarged prostate or worse yet pre-canserous prostate problems. I'd hike on down to your local uerologist and get it checked out!... (read in full...)
I feel so inferior when I hear the word "porn"
Q. I have a fear of porn, whenever I hear the word I immediately think of better looking women who are good at sex and it makes feel small. I've always had problems, my first boyfriend was a porn addict ever since then I always had it in mind that ...
A. 5 November 2013: You think you feel small, think how us guys feel. porn is just a vision of what we wish we could be.... (read in full...)
His ex wife is so much more attractive than me!
Q. His ex wife is so much more attractive than me! I'm seeing a man whose been divorced about 4 years. His ex is remarried and they have a very amicable relationship (they share children). His ex wife is very pretty and it makes me feel very...
A. 5 November 2013: If looks were the only measure of faithful love, there would be twelve people maried and the rest of us would be looking for another shot of scotch.... (read in full...)
He wants to meet in person but I'm afraid
Q. I've recently met this guy online who is 8 years older then me. I like him soo much but we haven't met in person yet. On my profile I have pictures of my face not my body, he hasn't asked me for a picture of my body yet and the one that I do ha...
A. 5 November 2013: you are rught to be afraid...he could be any one of a zillion nightmares. follow your instincts and stay off social media you'll only get into trouble.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been Facebook stalking his exes
Q. my boyfriend is so loving and affectionate and happy, he always says he just wants me to be happy too and we have good physical attraction. We laugh a lot and have fun and spend most of our free time together as we live together (his choice). I...
A. 5 November 2013: FB is the hardest way to find anybody thst i know of so maybe he's not seriously hunting for them just ticking you off on purpose.... (read in full...)
My husband expects me to work full time and perform all of the household chores
Q. My husband gets angry at me for stupid things. He wants me to be the traditional 50's wife, to cook, to clean, to do laundry and all that. I'm okay with most of that to a point; I would be more than willing to do it every day if I didn't work. My ...
A. 5 November 2013: the traditional 50's position was what you should have opted for. If that meant his lazy butt had to go out and(heaven forbid) be a traditional 50's husband that brought home the bacon. I think I would have stood my ground and told old couch boy ... (read in full...)
I feel unappreciated by my boyfriend!
Q. I do everything for my boyfriend but he never says he loves me and I feel unappreciated. I have taken him on business trips across the country, expensive sporting events, weekend trips paid for by me, and drive him everywhere when we are together. I ...
A. 27 October 2013: men.boys are alien to affection as defined by women/girls. THey are for the most part brought up to be "matter-of-fact and kinda "cold".i.e. showing affection is "girly" You may have to help educate the poor boy on interpersonl relationships. ... (read in full...)
What should I do to be more masculine?
Q. So I come here often for advice, so I am here again. This is something that has bothered for me for a long time. I am gay, and I am totally okay with it. But I seem to be very effeminate. I have always thought of myself as masculine, but m...
A. 27 October 2013: you're correct the whole question seems a little wierd. be true to thine ownself. If you act over the top gayish some folks like it others don't what do you care?... (read in full...)
Affair turned bad and now I don't know how to cope and be a good mom to my kids
Q. I had an affair with a man I met in April 2010.... He lives 3000 miles away but we talked and texted every day often for hours each day... We also met for get always several times.... We both declared the other was the love of our life and hoped one ...
A. 27 October 2013: A case study on why we should all be happy with our current condition and let the excitement of an affair go into the wind, Thanks for the warnings.... (read in full...)
I am really stressed over my bi polar boyfriend behavior
Q. What should I do about these problems with my boyfriend?. He has Bipolar Disorder. He was very drunk a couple of nights ago. I was on the phone to him. He was shouting and swearing at people going past. He put the phone down for a second , and I ...
A. 27 October 2013: Very familia with Bipolar---mother-in-law and daughter-in-law both....Drinking intensifies the manic stage and therefor keep him away from drinking situations altogether!
If he refuses to admit to the diagnosis(denial) then you might want to consi... (read in full...)
Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from?
Q. Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from? I'm going to be 21 soon and haven't even been kissed. My best guy friend who's a man whore tells me virginity sucks and romance is dead. He said he'd sleep with me ...
A. 26 October 2013: "value" is truely a once in a lifetime gift that should be trasured as a sacrifice given to the first lover!... (read in full...)
Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from?
Q. Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from? I'm going to be 21 soon and haven't even been kissed. My best guy friend who's a man whore tells me virginity sucks and romance is dead. He said he'd sleep with me ...
A. 26 October 2013: As an "older" man I can suggest that finding a real virgin is a complicated thing. Most women(seems to me,anyway) don't value virginity like they used to and seen to give it away too freely.... (read in full...)
My husband just left me for a younger woman
Q. i am feeling like a total fool. i was informed last night that my husband of 23 years wants a divorce, he has a baby by a girl that is 24 years old and she is expecting another one by him again... yes you read this right the baby she just had is 4 ...
A. 23 October 2013: Get all you can get from this dead beat and as a thought; at least it wasn't an older woman he fell for.... (read in full...)
My husband told me he was in love with another woman
Q. I do not know where to even go with this. My husband and his step-sister sat me down and informed me that they have been in love for over 30 years and that they would be together right now except they promised her dad that they would not. My ...
A. 23 October 2013: I feel bad for you that must have hurt but rather than look for "the inner meaning" why not just take him for his word and offer up a divorce?... (read in full...)
Question about on-line dating etiquette?
Q. Hi guys, so I'm new to online dating. I put up a profile yesterday and thus guy initiated a conversation, which then led to him giving me his number, and then we exchanged a few more messages outside of the site. He asked if I'm looking for frie...
A. 23 October 2013: In my older than dirt opinion the first rule in Online dating or even online meeting is Rule 1---Don't do it! you have no idea who that person is typing those nice words to you but you can be sure that person is probably someone you really don't ... (read in full...)
Men, porn and lies… feeling let down right now!
Q. Recently I found out my boyfriend still had a collection of porn and naked celeb photos - he told me he had deleted any porn and only looked at my pics. He is a good guy so I feel so sad he has lied to me. Why would he do that? He said doesn't need ...
A. 23 October 2013: This is the same old complaint..men like porn and women don't. It's like gravity, you can't alter it just 'cause you want to float like a feather in the wind. Ignore it. there's no harm in looking at fantasy. I agree that if it creats lying it ... (read in full...)
She doesn't turn me on any more.
Q. Help! I don't find my girlfriend sexually attractive anymore. We've been dating about 1 and half years. We do get along really well, I do enjoy spending time with her. She's funny, weird, quirky, clever but I come to the point where I fantasize ...
A. 23 October 2013: you've probably heard the phrase "familiarity breads contempt" well......perhaps it's time for a break. Seperate vacations or a camping trip with the guys? try again after that and see what happens. If she's worth staying with and she still finds ... (read in full...)
Can't get over my husband's confession of being "obsessed" by another woman.
Q. Can't get over my husband's confession of being "obsessed" by another woman. A couple of months ago, a close female friend of ours confessed to my husband that she was in love with him and wanted to have a physical affair too (all in the same conv...
A. 23 October 2013: They may have a secret "fling" going on and he may have told you what he did to try to divert your suspisions away from the real truth, i'd keep a closer lookout for more interaction. In the meantime, I'd wear him out in bed to let him know where ... (read in full...)
How to discuss family asset's without upsetting anyone?
Q. So my husband and I are not really having a problem so much as just needing advice, words of wisdom, etc. I was having lunch with my husband and his brother's girlfriend who is 4 months pregnant with his brother's child (obviously). My ...
A. 13 October 2013: Read Aunty Em's advice twice...it makes good sense.... (read in full...)
How can I recover from this love-sickness?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me three months ago. Since then, my life has started to be absolutely nonsense, I spent my days watching the time passing by, and fell into a deep depression. I have started university almost a month ago, still I don't ...
A. 13 October 2013: from the other side of the male/female fence....I know the feeling. It was like someone had ramed their fist through my belly button and ripped out all the internsl organs they could find when she said, "My paents won't let me see you anymore so I ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to check out porn and naked celebrities?
Q. Hi everyone, Recently for some reason I have become a little insecure :( I am an attractive young woman...slim so little reason to you could say but like alot of women seem to be uncomfortable with my fiance looking at stuff on the internet. It...
A. 13 October 2013: i'm sure you are all that but as a male I can tell you a man is always curious to see women naked. The female body is irresistable to look at. It is not personal as to whether or not he thinks the world of you. It's just natural. And no man I ... (read in full...)
I denied a guy orgasm and now I feel bad. What should I Do?
Q. I am an 18 year old girl with an intense foot fetish. I am aroused by other girl's feet, but I'm not a lesbian, as in I still enjoy sex with males. I also get extremely turned on when someone licks the soles of my feet. So recently I was out with ...
A. 12 October 2013: Nothing, I can still remember my first gf in high school doing the same thing to me. I still hate her or it... (read in full...)
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