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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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What do guys mean when they call a girl 'cute'?
Q. Dear Auntz. I have always told myself that i will never date a guy who describes me as 'cute'. And here i am now dating that guy. He is very nice and sweet to me. We went out twice so far so we just started dating. I am really attracted to him phys...
A. 24 June 2014: When I use the word 'cute' it is usually to describe a young women that looks nice and is usually young looking. I supose it could be used as a negative as is, "Oh that's real cute!" to describe a prank that wenr wrong but I don't think I've ever ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable, to be concerned about my Gf's actions? She goes to parties when I'm away, gets flirty and drunk too.
Q. First off a little background on my girlfriend and I We are both in high school but go to different schools. During the school year we would go to parties on the weekends and sometimes if I couldn't go she would go without me. It never bothered ...
A. 23 June 2014: Is this the girl yo'd like to be the mother of your kids? If not stay away from her She is on a path of self destrustion. Part ways ASAP... (read in full...)
I am my ex boyfriend's booty call .....
Q. My boyfriend split up with me in February, because "he didn't love me anymore and the spark wasn't there".. He has been sleeping with ALOT of girls, and drinking ALOT! I have been sleeping with him still, but now I'm starting to get jealous and have ...
A. 22 June 2014: Your friends are crrect..cut and run and grow some self respect.... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to act like a porn star and said I've ruined his life
Q. My husband told me I was a fat disgusting pig! And he watches porn because I'm boring in bed and I have no ambition. These are things he has never said before to me ,we got into a fight and told me he needed to get things off his chest. I have ...
A. 22 June 2014: Porn has zero to do with his sudden 'acting out' I think he's going through a mid life crisis and needs proffesional help..it doesn't sound like it's you he hates-I think he hates himself and is taking it out on you 'cause you're the closest and he ... (read in full...)
The last time I got naked for a man the internet didn't exist ....
Q. Ok I need the brutal truth from men. I'm freshly back on the dating scene . The last time I got naked with a man for the first time the internet didn't exist ( at least not like today) and things were different. It seems highly likely that any man I ...
A. 22 June 2014: NO WAY! I don't think there's a man alive that would ever be disappointec with a naked womsn's body. We men are much more disappointed in our own naked body than any women's... (read in full...)
I am feeling lost in my new marriage.
Q. Hi I know this will sound typical and far from what a marriage should be like. I never imagined I would feel this way and i don't want to. Me and my husband have been together on and off for about 8 years and recently married 6 months ago. E...
A. 20 June 2014: You may need to seek profesional help on this one. anonomous therapy sugestions probably won;t help sharpen communication skills.Good Luck... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend to be less selfish in bed?
Q. Hello all, My girlfriend and I have a good relationship and have been dating for about a year and a half. However, things in the bedroom have taken a turn for the worse. Saying that things have fallen flat would be an understatement. ...
A. 20 June 2014: She sounds a bit immature in love-making. Why not just buy her "The Joy of Sex" and let her read about how people do it with abandon with the only "goal" being to please your partner. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Why is he looking for sex so soon?
Q. Boyfriend needs a break to figure things out between us. Together nearly two years and plans to buy a house next year. Great sex, got along real well. Just one argument come up over the time we were together. Anyway had one massive row about this ...
A. 20 June 2014: Duh? He's a guy what would you expect him to do? Join the priesthood? Forget him he did the break-up. Get over him and forget how or who he "dates" You'll be better off by just going on with your own life. Good Luck... (read in full...)
How do I integrate my fetishes into our sex life?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I having been dating this girl for quite a while now and mostly everything is going great. However, I am still afraid to talk to her about the sexual fetishes I would at the very least like to try, if not integrate into o...
A. 20 June 2014: A. your fetish is yours not community property-She may not be "into" your fetish so get over trying to integrate it. Can't two people just do what they do in the conventional ways.
And 2. If you attempt to force something on her be aware that she ... (read in full...)
Should I block him on facebook, and should I end the relationship?
Q. I'm worried. My boyfriend is acting weird. He has Bipolar Disorder. He wrote to someone that sent him a letter recently. he put his address and phone number on the letter and he mentioned me. I'm worried because he has told me things about that man. ...
A. 20 June 2014: Better yet, delete your FB account and learn to live in reality. If he's bipolar, then as one who is VERY familiar with the issues surrounding it, I'd suggest you run for the hills if he stops medicating. Otherwise you're looking forward to years ... (read in full...)
Why was this embarrassing for him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I hung out with this new guy the other night and as the night was winding down he walked me out to my car to say goodbye. We started making out and he.. well.... got a huge erection... pulled away and joked that he was just going to "w...
A. 20 June 2014: he was embarred 'cause it's so imature.. I mean teenagers usually experience this from time to time. but we grow out of it.... (read in full...)
I'm worried by his taste in porn
Q. Hello, well I been with my boyfriend for 8/9 yrs we have 2 kids and very active in this relationship as far as intimacy and time together. I'm 31 he's 33 I'm white he's black. Well here it is, he watches nothing i mean nothing but ebony granny porn. ...
A. 18 June 2014: I'd bet you that he is not even thinking or having fantasy about older women. If he's like me and my buddies it's the fantasy that an older women can even get turned on that gets him turned on. A lot of us guys are convinced that after 40 a women ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a facebook page that says he's in a relationship with someone that isn't me???
Q. I recently found a new fb page for my bf who in fact says he doesnt use fb so wasn't going to add me, ths only way I found it was via my mates bf who told me, anyway this new fb page says hes in a relationship with somebody and its not me :( Ive lo...
A. 18 June 2014: Anyone that sees FB as actual means of communication or as some great way of self expression is deluded and needs to be hurt. FB should be shuned by all as a pit of despair and a way for a very few to get very rich....pick up a phone for crying out ... (read in full...)
Should I text her? Or try calling later? I don't want to mess it up!
Q. I met a girl about two months ago at Wondercon and after talking to her for a bit, got her number, and asked her out about a week later. After a couple text exchanges (with very delayed responses from her) for the next few weeks, and a missed pho...
A. 17 June 2014: Here's a thought, Don't text use the damn phone like it was intended. A human voice is more effective than a screen full of letters.texting has NO emotion, voice inflections are the only way to see what's going on.... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. How can I accept being ugly? I'm too old to be wondering this. But I'm ugly, as a kid I felt awkward about my appearance and high school was hell with all the bullying. There are things I can change, like lose a little weight, take care of my ...
A. 17 June 2014: I'm certain that you are not ugly! God don't make junk you have a poor self image and that is fixable with therapy. go get some.... (read in full...)
He's choosing his head over his heart but still wants to be friends. What should I do?
Q. Hello, I recently told a long time friend I had feelings for him, he admitted he also had feelings for me but his best friend was trying to set him up with a girl named carly. He started talking to carly who he then started having feelings for too. ...
A. 17 June 2014: This is a vy hard ositio he has put you in. there is no way for you to win at this. It might be time for you to take a long vacation from the situation. This is not about you so don't let it drag you down. If he is that insecure andhis family has ... (read in full...)
My LDR can see prettier women in porn, so why bother taking it to the next level?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship and we have not yet been sexual in person . Next time we meet we will take it to the next level but in the meantime we enjoy that online but I'm worried about how I can possibly keep my bf interested when he ...
A. 17 June 2014: Pretier women is NOT what men look at when they look at porn...we look more at the huge male penis and envy the men that get the women.... (read in full...)
Wondering about the "swinging" lifestyle
Q. My wife told me one of her friends recently confided in her that she and her husband have been visiting swingers clubs over the past few months. It started off with her fantasies to have two men at once, but since then has escalated and both of them ...
A. 17 June 2014: Not a good idea! Take it from one who tried it...IT DOES NOT work out worth a damn...Run away from the idea.... (read in full...)
What is Appropriate/Inappropriate behavior for a relationship??
Q. I feel very confused about my current situation with my long term boyfriend, and am looking for some outside advice... We have been dating for a long time. Several years ago, I found out that that he was chatting with girls online, having c...
A. 17 June 2014: Ok, Three answers here:
No.1 No, not all men are like that
No.2 No, you are not being unfair to expect more from him ...AND
Number 3. Yes, kick him to the curb and go find a real man!
A real man treats his women with respect and love not like tr... (read in full...)
I am feeling lost in my new marriage.
Q. Hi I know this will sound typical and far from what a marriage should be like. I never imagined I would feel this way and i don't want to. Me and my husband have been together on and off for about 8 years and recently married 6 months ago. E...
A. 17 June 2014: I think tou're going through what we all go through shortly after marraige...it's not buyers remorse but kind of like it. In those early year or years while you two are trying to figure each other out like which way to put the toilet paper on the ... (read in full...)
Do women find compression shorts sexy? I think I have a fetish for them
Q. I have this fetish for compression shorts which are like tights. They make me feel sexy and I also wear them under my regular shorts when I go for a jog or go to a gym for my workouts. They make me feel very sexy. I am shy of telling this side of ...
A. 13 June 2014: My wife thinks it's yukky. I tend to agree.... (read in full...)
Am I not floating his boat?
Q. Curiosity got the better of me......I met a guy on a dating website and we have been meeting regularly for approx 6 weeks .....I deleted my account as I can only concentrate on one person at a time but today I re-registered to see if he was still on ...
A. 13 June 2014: On-line "relationships" have a very high potential for sinking in the first place..so why not get out in the real world and find a mate the old fashioned way?... (read in full...)
Why am I putting up with bad treatment from my ex?
Q. Hi and thanks, I've known my ex for about 8 yrs. We were on and off about 4 years. I had broken up the first time around because he was cheating with several women and was on a dating site, plus admitted to having feelings for an ex. We managed t...
A. 13 June 2014: Have you ever heard the term "a glutton for punishment"? Some people have a fetish for being put down and belittled. You could be one of them. If so, men with tendancy for cruelty will take advantage and be even more cruel. If I were in your shoes, ... (read in full...)
Can tall girls get away with heels?
Q. I am 6 feet (183cm) tall and u sometimes wear heels Should tall girls wear heels what do you think ??? ...
A. 13 June 2014: i think most guys would say heck yes, the tyaller the better,however, I'd bet most girls would have a negative view. I would caution only that igh heels are dangerous in that the tendons that keep your foot from 'turning under' are very susceptable ... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but he is coming on too strong?
Q. There's a guy I know who I have become interested in, and I think he is interested in me as well. However, I am finding that he comes on very strong and it's making me a little uncomfortable. He is very polite, and his compliments are all ...
A. 13 June 2014: Feeling "uncofortable" is your instincts telling you to be very careful. Mind those instincts over any other mind games you or he might try to play. ALWAYS trust those instincts, they may save your life and/or your physical or mental well-being. I ... (read in full...)
Yes, another question about men and their porn!!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for four years. Yes, I knew since the start of our relationship that he masturbated to images of hot chicks on the internet. Then, I didn't care in the least. Why? The sex we had was awesome. He wanted me ...
A. 12 June 2014: My answer is always the same... porn is fantasy and is to be treated as such. If he has a porn dream during the night is he guilty of breaking a sacred trust? NO!... (read in full...)
I went into my boyfriend's mail and closed down all of his online dating accounts!
Q. So my boyfriend of one year has always had dating profiles since he was 13. (He is 21 now). He likes to talk to people though he's never met up with anyone from online since he just simply doesn't believe that something like love could come from ...
A. 12 June 2014: How would you feel if he had done this to you? All is fair in love and war? I think what you did is far worse than what you suspect he might have done or not done. I say you just live with your distrust and suffer the outcome.... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time with this girl?
Q. So there's this girl that I like and I've taken her out a couple of times now and just when things were looking up, she goes camping with her friends and sleeps with another guy when she was drunk. The next day this guy texts her saying he really ...
A. 11 June 2014: time is wasting, grass is growing under your feet-she seems to(from what you say) be interested in other things and people. You might want to talk about a "time out" you know take a month or so off from one another see where she ends up. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Should I enjoy my Gf's amazing personality and hope that she'll make the decision to lose weight so that she can become more physically appealing?
Q. So I'm 22 and recently I've started talking to this girl who is 18. When it comes to a personality she's everything I could possibly ask for. But as far as looks she has a really cute face but she's pretty overweight. It sounds pathetic on my p...
A. 11 June 2014: I am not the female responder you asked for but I'd like to "eiegh-in" if it's alright. A great personality and a face of an angel is all any man truley needs to complete his life. Unless she is morbidly obese you might consider just staying quiet ... (read in full...)
Depressed and sad and don't know where to turn to get through this time in my life. How do I manage this depression?
Q. I have chosen to ask my question on here as I have nowhere else to turn. On paper I know that I am quite fortunate: I have a good group of friends, been in a stable loving relationship for over a year and I have just finished my first year of my l...
A. 11 June 2014: You have succeeded in Step 1. you have reached out albeit to a websit littered with people like me who are not doctors. Now for step 2...consult with a real professional;the phone book is full of help as is the internet listings for degreed (pHD) ... (read in full...)
Why is he being so tepid in bed?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend since October. We started having sex often and regularly a month into the relationship. He's not that great in bed. I thought this would change as we got closer, playing and developing a sense of what the other likes. ...
A. 10 June 2014: Just a thought but why not view some porn together..you might influence him to try a few things that you see and respond to.... (read in full...)
I need help to process this. My husband had oral sex with the daughter of his ex:
Q. I have been married for 3 years and have been having this issue his his ex girlfriend and her daughter. When we got together he was living with her and her daughter and they have been together for 16 years. They had an open relationship to a cert...
A. 9 June 2014: From the male point of view(mine) cunnilinggus is even more intimate than traditinal intercourse so if I were you I'd reevaluate how serious this really is. Guys just don't 'go down on any old girl or woman. There are probably some real serius ... (read in full...)
I'm an ex but he doesn't remember!
Q. i went on a date with an ex he didn't know it was me its been 14 years since we last saw each other and ive put on 3 stone and now he wants to see me again do I tell him the truth who I am or shall I just keep quiet ?...
A. 9 June 2014: I'd remain mum. If he is that much of an idiot it wil come out in even more ways. Then you can pull back the curtain if you wish but it sounds like he is pretty numb so maybe he won't even believey when/if you do reveal youself.... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 2 days and I'm wondering how to tell him that I want to wait to have sex?
Q. So I'm dating a new guy for about 2 days now. I'm 20 and hes 28. We meet at an anime convention in 2011 and ever since we've always seemed to constantly bump into one another all the time around town (for A-----, that's rare especially if you two ...
A. 9 June 2014: This is a simple one.. you simply say(during an intimate moment) "Darling, I love you very much and can't wait to be with you in every waybut I would really like to hold off until we are married. Is that cool with you?" If he truely loves and ... (read in full...)
My gf wants to see my best friends dick because he said it was big
Q. Me and my girlfriend been togeder for 1 year and 3 mounts and stil counting and she and i have a best friend who is my friend since we were little. We once was talking about sex and my best friend told us that his dick is big and not so much girls ...
A. 8 June 2014: Tell your friend to take a pic of it and share it with the world so everyone can take a peek. I bet he doesn't find time. In other words, callhis bluff.... (read in full...)
Is he really testing the waters? Might he be bisexual?
Q. Well hello everyone. There is a situation that I am into and I would like for you to suggest a way to proceed. It is a bit long so please read carefully. When I am referring to feminise gay guys, there is no offence intended, cause I am fine ...
A. 6 June 2014: This subject is so far out of my "wheelhouse" that I fear anything I might offer would either offend or be mistaken as hatespeach. My wife's uncle was gay(died of aids several years back) he and I had a great repoir and could talk about ANYTHING. ... (read in full...)
He didn't call when he said he would and his phone was off ...
Q. Soo my boyfriend is on Holliday with his friends. We have a really good relationship and hasnt done anything in the past to make me doubt him at all, its my own insecurities. I have ben abused with past boyfriends and cheated on a lot. He does is ...
A. 6 June 2014: My gut instinct is to view your paranoia as a bit clingy. But since you've been hurt before I kind of understand. However, you cannot be in his backpocet all the time or else he really will hurt you. In other words, if you don't give him his ... (read in full...)
Am I mad to take on a guy with these issues???
Q. Ok, for the last 5 months I've befriended a gorgeous guy who has quite a few issues! Firstly, he is a recovering alcoholic, off the alcohol for 21 years, secondly, he has been self medicating for the last year and is currently in hospital trying to ...
A. 6 June 2014: You might be nuts, who knows? Taking on a "project" like this takes an extreemly patient person willing to enure abuse and maybe jepordize hersef physically. But love knows no bounds..so examine yoour feelings and act accordingly. Best of luck... (read in full...)
My gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month and completely takes it all out on me but the moment I have ONE bad day myself, it's the end of the world. Why is that? How is that fair?
Q. I need some advice. Maybe from the guys who have experienced this, personally, but also from the girls who can possibly explain this phenomenon. I always feel like my gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month, and compl...
A. 6 June 2014: Yep, "industrial-strength PMS" is hard to deal with. nut, ust be thankful you don't have to deal with the other stuf she has to deal with(no details needed). It's best to just hug her gently and keep your thoughts to yourself. And no you don't ... (read in full...)
Why wont my boyfriend give me oral sex?
Q. why wont my boyfriend give me oral sex..... i have been with my partner for almost 3 years we have a 9 month old little boy together and im 2 months pregnant with our 2nd baby our sex life is great but i started to notice recently that my partner ...
A. 6 June 2014: Here in the states. we slways used to call it" going down on her" or "muff diving" all kinds of wierd other things. It takes a bit of time to think it through and kind of work up the courage so to speak. We men are never quite sure what we do is ... (read in full...)
Neighbor asked my daughter to be bridesmaid then cancelled the big wedding and now I'm stuck with a dress and shoes!
Q. My Nextdoor neighbour was due to get married in August and asked my 7 year old daughter to be bridesmaid. My daughter was thrilled as she'd never been a bridesmaid before and it was probably her only chance (before shes an adult)as all our ...
A. 6 June 2014: I'm pretty sure she will be once again asked to be a bridesmaid again sosavethe dress for next time.Opps, I just remembered it was probably a "themed/colorized "sort of thing so maynot be reusable. However, it'll make a gaet prom dress later. Don't ... (read in full...)
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