A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Feeling hopeless. Hi aunts and uncles. Sex is painful for me. Im not a virgin, by any means, my husband and I have two children together. I have read that "tenting" will help, but you must have foreplay to acheive that. My husband is not a fan of foreplay or giving oral sex. Lube makes it a little easier, but no significant difference and I do not feel any pleasure. Ive always been a pretty sexual person, but now I feel like my sex drive is dying. I still do it whenever he wants, but its definitely for him. When I do attempt to have sex because I want it, he is either not in the mood or sex just feels painful and awkward. Any suggestions would be appreciated. ( He has said before he would try foreplay but he just caresses my body a a minute or two and plays with myy breasts- which can also be slightly painful and too rough. Hes great in all other aspects, but I really need help with sex.
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breasts, foreplay, in the mood, oral sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (19 September 2013):
 It sounds ;like a fairly serious medical issue..go see a doctor and quit worrying about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2013): Talk to him!! It WON'T hurt his ego!One thing I've learned is that you have to address issues directly (in a tactful way of course!) when they become problems in a relationship. Relationships are based on sharing, and hiding things from someone always creates problems. He'll probably understand how you feel, I mean you have a right to enjoy sex.Have you been to the doctor? To rule out an underlying medical cause? There are medical conditions-- cystitis is one-- that can cause sex to be painful, but no one on the Internet is qualified to... ahh, finish this sentence! :)If there is a medical condition, it needs to be diagnosed so they can treat it.Your husband definitely needs to know about foreplay and oral sex, too. He just needs to be educated.Talk to him, he'll understand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2013): Thank you! Thats a very good suggestion! Hopefullu he will understand and it wont hurt his ego...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 September 2013):
 You write: "My husband is not a fan of foreplay or giving oral sex."
Perhaps you should get him a copy of my pamphlet, titled "The two things that EVERY GUY damn-well ought to learn if he expects to keep his girl interested in him for any length of time"......
In it, he will learn the two things that every guy needs to learn to keep his girl (YOU, in this case!) interested... and to NOT throw his sorry a$$ over for some OTHER guy who HAS learned those two things....
P.S. You already KNOW the two things... since you listed them!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 September 2013):
 It's fairly apparent what's going on in this situation! Your husband is a selfish lover. He is masturbating into you leaving you high and dry, of course sex is painful and unpleasant. For women "foreplay" is as important as sex, if not more. Your husband needs a serious wake up call.
Where I would recommend starting is for you to pick out a sex toy (something sturdy you can use on the outside, like eroscillator or a hitachi wand) and have him use it on you. Use it to "warm up" on your own ahead of time too, i.e. when you know you're going to have sex, go play with it on your own for a few minutes to get close to or have an orgasm.
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