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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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What does he mean by "emotionally invested"?
Q. If a man who is known for being extremely bad at expressing his emotions but who you think fancies you, blurts out that he is 'emotionally invested' in you/your future, what does that mean? That he cares as a friend? Or more?...
A. 13 April 2014: read Tisha-1 she has him pegged!... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I need to just be blunt, ask him his salary and then maybe nip it in the bud if it is too little money. Should I be honest?
Q. I'm in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would maybe prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a sweet guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very ...
A. 13 April 2014: Oh me,it's come to this? When my wife-to-be and I met we just wanted to know how much change we could pool together for a greasy burger and a drive-in movie. We'd literaly dump our pockets out on a grassy spot and count it all together. Seems to ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get over this offensive incident?
Q. I took a tennis class and this pretty woman walked up to me during the first one and said, "Hi Bob! I lost your e-mail address!" I replied that it was no big deal and I'd give it to her again. She then said to me, "Err, no, that's okay," etc. I wa...
A. 30 March 2014: Sounds like a clumsy error on her part and a stammering realization that she looked foolish. Life's too short to lose sleep over it.... (read in full...)
Do you my find it appropriate for a woman to sit on your husband's lap?
Q. My husband and I were with friends last night. We were playing a party game and my husband drew a card which made him "Santa Claus." Two of our male friends sat on his lap as a joke and I also sat on my husband's lap. But then one of our friends ...
A. 30 March 2014: In a word, yes, it's just a bit wierd but it is fun.... (read in full...)
Why do guys string along lots of women at once?
Q. Hi, Why do guys string along lots of women at once? I know this middle aged guy who's about to get married (to his dying fiancé) and has kids, and he has loads of women adoring him at work and is sleeping with many women from work. He's n...
A. 30 March 2014: Are you really confused? or do you really just want to elicite a bunch of misogonistic rants? Look we men are oportunistic animals. IF liasons present themselves we for the most part take advantage of the opportunity presented. In other words, Men ... (read in full...)
Problems with boyfriend, Facebook, and other girls.
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and when we first started dating he would put stuff on his facebook without me having to ask him. But now it's like a war. I feel like its not fair to me that his ex's got sweet statuses and got to be his ...
A. 30 March 2014: I'm not at all familia with just how Facebook works but from I hear and see of it. it's sort of like telling a trusted friend a secret and then having that friend yell the secret into a loud speaker system all over town and the planet. If pricacy ... (read in full...)
He screams at me, he disregards my opinion, he's paranoid about some friends. Can anyone confirm if I'm crazy?
Q. Am I crazy? My bf n I have been together for almost 2 years. We've been friends for almost 10 years. My bf can be very defensive, emotionally immature, and selfish at times; straight up. So these faults dampen a mood, conversation, experience every ...
A. 20 March 2014: He sounds nutty as a fruitcake. you should run like the wind!... (read in full...)
Do you pressure for oral sex?
Q. Do you or your significant other like to give or receive oral sex? If not do you pressure them (the whole "if you love me" thing") or do you leave it alone? I've been with my boyfriend for some years. I don't get sexually frustrated, but I'm tryi...
A. 20 March 2014: a good HJ is ten times better than a poor BJ any day of the week. He should be quite content!... (read in full...)
I feel slightly embarrassed that he's sexually experienced and I'm not
Q. Hello there! I've been with my lovely boyfriend for about 8 months now, and we've been friends for years. Recently we'd spoken about having sex... However I'm a virgin, whilst he isn't. We've been doing a lot of oral sex for a while now, so I'...
A. 19 March 2014: If you feel uncomfortable then stick to the oral sex.... (read in full...)
I'm a woman and I dreamed I had a penis. What does it mean?
Q. Ok so this is really bugging me and just for reference I am a straight married female and I do not have any fantasies about other women at all. I know I'm more dominant than my husband in life but I don't want to be in bed. I had a crazy drea...
A. 19 March 2014: Why does it have to mean anything? it's a dream right?... (read in full...)
I can't cope with my fiance watching porn!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My problem will probably seem trivial, but here it goes. I cannot deal with porn. At all. I used to be fine, but ended up in a bad relationship and he was also a true porn addict.Couldnt go more than an hour or so with out it, ...
A. 19 March 2014: you don't have to marry trhe guy you know... (read in full...)
Does he hate me being on top?
Q. Hi, I have a new (a few months) boyfriend. We're both 20 and he lost his virginity to me. The first couple of times we had sex I went on top for a fair bit... but since then we haven't, and I've tried to initiate that but he just seems to want to be ...
A. 19 March 2014: men love a girl on top!... (read in full...)
It's early days, but after just two dates - were his actions charming or creepy?
Q. Hi Agony Aunt folks I have a question , So I met this guy online we had 2 dates so far he is a cop and seems very nice a lot different form the last guy I dated I have had bad luck lately in the men department and seem to end up with abusive men so ...
A. 19 March 2014: Yep to the creepy...and the way to tell is when it's preceeded by "a guy I met online" your instincts tell you it's creepy. Are you looking for someone to argue for him by saying, oh no, it's normal for a guy to act all wierd and stuff,especially ... (read in full...)
Is this normal for FWB?
Q. I got chatting to a guy online nearly 4 months now , at first he told me he was single but eventually he told me he wasn't and he has a daughter . I'm ok with this it's his life , he lives miles away from me but we decided to meet up . He drive over ...
A. 13 February 2014: THere is no NORMAL to FWB it's a relatively new concept that is a loose tagname given to having sex without having a commited relationship so there are no rules or guidelines. Allit is is a guy-driven description of some vauge relationship where he ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I'm freaking out over nothing or if I'm just freaking out over sex.
Q. Ok, umm, I really need some help with this issue. So me and my boyfriend have been together for awhile now and were really happy together but I feel like he's pressuring me to have sex with him or to do anything sexual. Now before you start ...
A. 12 February 2014: So here's some advice from an old dude...How about just taking a deep breath and putting the whole sex thing on the back burner for oh say 6 months or some mutually agreed upon time period? Then, take a fresh look at each other and either jump in ... (read in full...)
How to make sex feel good?
Q. My boyfriend and I have had sex a handful of times and we just can't seem to figure it out (until recently we were both virgins). We are attracted to each other and we have no trouble with the mechanics of sex, but it feels kind of meh for both of ...
A. 11 February 2014: Read the Karma Sutra and The Joy of Sex together that ought to fix whatever ails you.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for female friends to tease their male friends with their breasts?
Q. Is it normal for female friends to tease their male friends with their breasts? Since I met them in college, my two female friends tend to mess with me. They know I can be a bit, what's the word...embarrassed when I see their cleavage or something. ...
A. 11 February 2014: Sadly, yeah,it's "normal" girls know they have enormous power over men and they use it to tease and manipulate and get what they want in life. The trick is to find a way to to ognore the erge to look or be lured into the lure. because once hooked ... (read in full...)
Can dating a guy you don't find attractive turn out well?
Q. I need to know this answer, please don't judge me as I am already aware that I am shallow and I'm sure i'm not the only person who does this. But I don't want to make a big mistake so please advice!! I met this guy, he's almost too perfect in p...
A. 10 February 2014: And for all you know he might not think you're up to his expectations either. What if he secretly thinks you are underwhelming(I know,hard to believe,right)... (read in full...)
Do I avoid sex on Valentine's Day?
Q. My boyfriend is unable to orgasm through me touching him or a blow job. He is in his late forties. I have tried varying all techniques, making sure the situation is right...etc, etc. He seems to be adverse to the idea of him ejaculating on me ...
A. 8 February 2014: Yeah. There seems to be no reason to fool around and frustrate him further so why bother?... (read in full...)
How to get this online guy to back off?
Q. Hi everyone, I've been online dating for about 8 months now, have only met up with 3 people in that time and its never really gone past 1st or 2nd dates. I ended up talking to someone for about 5 weeks who seemed to match my sense of humour and ...
A. 7 February 2014: As far as I can determine the ONLY good thing about on-line dating is the ability to say "F-off" without having to face the person.... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to trust her again? Do I confront her?
Q. Me (20, female) and my girlfriend (21) broke up a while ago. Until last month, we got back together. I've discovered a lot about her during the time we were apart. She slept with a workmate, I found out she was on a datingsite, there's a whole li...
A. 7 February 2014: Yeah I'd be all pissed too if I found my wife had turned gay and all that so I can relate. I don't think you can trust her much longer. She has obviously stayed from the pack and found new places to investigate.... (read in full...)
I suffer from premature climaxing, any advice?
Q. I am a married women in my 30's and I suffer from premature climaxing... My husband and I don't have sex that often (once a week) due to family commitments and work and because of this I'm all pent up with desire, as soon as my husband enters ...
A. 3 February 2014: I have to agree I thought this was a male-omly "problem" but I'll take your word for it and envy your husband in that he must be very pleased with a wife with this "problem". I really have no advice for you it sounds like a very nice "problem" to ... (read in full...)
I ruined my boyfriend's life because I didn't lose my virginity to him
Q. Hello all, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3years 3months, just recently he found out the guy I lost my virginity to was 20yr old and I was only 16, I regret it completely and know it was a huge mistake when I was immature young and drunk. ...
A. 3 February 2014: Oh boo hoo. He's sad but you have your dignity and he'll get over it forget about it! he will... (read in full...)
I can't seem to hit a girl's g spot
Q. i have 6.2 inch penis 4.5 inch straight and and around 2 inch slight down curve.. i had sex with thirteen different girl but i never get any negative comment but i still fell insecure because i think i m not able to satisfy and make girls orgasm in ...
A. 1 February 2014: Now this is sad, sharing your measurments and all is not going to earn points. Sex is not a destination it's a journey. It's about the smell of her hair, the taste of her skin the touch of her hands on your back not the orgasms.... (read in full...)
I suspect my wife is cheating
Q. I am married for my second time and feel I may have made a major mistake. She is a teacher and on the surface seemed to be the kind of person I was looking for. She was into family as at the time we both had kids about the same age at that tim...
A. 17 January 2014: THe mind can conjure up most anything so why not wait for actual proof positive before ruining a good thing?... (read in full...)
He's not physically violent but he is abusive, is there anything I can do or should I walk away?
Q. I have just joined this site, though I asked a question anonymously earlier before joining. After reading the reply I got I was wondering if anyone has any advice on abusive relationships? Its not a physically violent relationship but my husband has ...
A. 17 January 2014: You may be one step away from a punch in the face, ergo a breakup may be a safe thing to do. Only you can determine the building tension. Only you can save your life.... (read in full...)
How do I stop these desires?
Q. After weeks of self help books reminding me I'm a strong independent woman and I'm beautiful and I don't need a man (which is all entirely true!!) I would normally take these 6 months in my early twenties to love being single with no attention ...
A. 17 January 2014: Whoa! All you need now are some cats and you will fit the profile of a frustrated "old maid" get on line and find you some good old fashoined porn then go buy a vibrator!... (read in full...)
What do I need to do about the fact that I seem to attract verbally abusive men?
Q. This evening I ended my relationship with a guy who was becoming more and more verbally abusive towards me. I told him I couldn't take any more. He got into the habit of calling me names and making personal put downs about my appearance and ...
A. 9 January 2014: Let's assume for the sake of argument that you are a sel-confident and vibrant woman that exudes self confidence and cannot be easily intimidated during the first encounter with a man. If that is the case then you're simply in the wrong place. Any ... (read in full...)
Does love exist still? Should I save my virginity for "The One"? I want a better marriage than my parents have.
Q. Hey everyone :) So I'm 19 and still a virgin which is kind of part of the problem and not. Anyway I need to know am I being way too expecting of love and sex? My parents had a unsatisfactory marriage and still do. I grew up in a home where...
A. 9 January 2014: You can only "give your virginity" to one person might as well make it "THE ONE" right?... (read in full...)
I feel stuck in my marriage. So much is unravelling and my husband seems not to care, while my daughter has big issues to address too. What should I do?
Q. My husband and I of almost 20 years had a fight over petty things mostly by me on Christmas Day. While preparing dinner for us that night he found a bag that I put in the laundry room that was given to me by my friend. It's a nice bag but I do not...
A. 9 January 2014: During the holidays, people are hyper sensitive about every little thing. It is a volitile time due to a zillion different reasons. I suspect this will blow over ad the little bage issue will be in the rear view mirror by Easter. Just try not to ... (read in full...)
He can't get it up!!
Q. I've been seeing this new guy for a couple of month's. He had no problem getting it up before, but I didn't feel ready. Now that I am ready, he can't get it up. He says he's "never had this problem before", and that he's just stressed out and...
A. 8 January 2014: Anxiety is the number one reason...fear of failure to perform=number two...Too much booze is number three. Poor blood flow etc,etc,etc. There are a lot of reasons. Don't fret over it go see a doctor and get the pill for a trial.... (read in full...)
Why can I give a one night stand oral sex but not to someone I am in a relationship with?
Q. I don't know why I am like this but in the past I have not been able to give a guy a blowjob who I am in a serious relationship with - which included my ex husband. Yet I have had no problem doing that with a couple of one night stands since. The ...
A. 7 January 2014: Perhaps you have more self respect when around your love interest than when you're just out messing around?... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend is 31 years older than her!
Q. I have a 19-year-old daughter, an only child; she's in university studying medicine, and wants to work in the NHS. It's not her university I'm writing in about, but her choice of partner; he's 50, and a bathroom salesman. I'm not criticising his ...
A. 6 January 2014: Well, the good news is a bathroom salesman will always have buyers. The age difference is wierd but not overly strange. She must have been very insecure growing up.... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay? Or is this an outlet for his bisexuality?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 7 years married for 3 and I have always known he is bisexual which has never been an issue for me until recently. I recently discovered that he has another Facebook profile that I am blocked on which...
A. 6 January 2014: Let's see. you knew he was a "switch-hitter" and now are surprised that he has this side of him that involves risky sex? What to do? I would suggest something radical but I think you may not agree so I guess you'll have to just keep on living ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to keep this quiet or right not to get involved?
Q. Hello everyone, I need help working out what to do for the best here. Basically, on New Years Eve one of my boyfriends female friends got very drunk told me that she had an affair several years ago with my boyfriends oldest brother. He was ...
A. 4 January 2014: Unless you were an actual eye witness then you're just a part of a gossip chain so shut up and break the chain.... (read in full...)
He is big and I am little!
Q. I consider myself to be pretty fit; I work out 5 days a week in the mornings before work (sometimes gym, sometimes jogging), and many weekends I'm doing some other kind activity whether it's biking or hiking. I LOVE food, but try to limit myself ...
A. 4 January 2014: Size is relative. your hearts are about the same size and your souls are identical in size/spirit ..forget the "odd couple" thing. That's perception problems.... (read in full...)
My husband walked out when we found out I was pregnant!
Q. My husband walked out when we found out I was pregnant with our second child in August. (We had been having fertility treatment so it wasn't a surprise). He has been suffering from mood swings and depression so the doctor gave him antidepr...
A. 4 January 2014: My first response when I read this was what an A-hole then after I read more I said wait maybe he had a breakdown and needs some serious help. I think the later should be the response to go with. Find him and get him help.... (read in full...)
I have never had a "G-spot" orgasm.
Q. Please excuse the graphic details!! I have never had a "G-spot" orgasm. Only ever clitoral orgasms. My boyfriend of two years says he really wants me to have one. I think he misses it and feels he can't satisfy me sexually. But I can only really ...
A. 2 January 2014: No big deal. There is way too much stress in our lives than to have to worry about how best to have an orgasm. Pity the ones that can't have one at all. The vibrator should do the trick if not try harder some other way. Don't stress out over ... (read in full...)
Was he just trying to get laid, or did he like me?
Q. I went to a huge party at a hotel in the city last night and this guy comes up to me and my friend and asks me what my name is and if i wanna dance. I say sure and he takes my hand and says "come here". So we dance and I'm a terrible dancer and I ...
A. 2 January 2014: Of course he was trying to get laid. He'd be an idiot not to be. A nice young chick having a lot to drink Who wouldn't be trying to get laid?... (read in full...)
What problems could happen if we did become older parents
Q. Me and my husband both want children; we're young professionals, aged 29 and 32, and we've been married for 2 years now. We're middle-class, own a Citroen and a Lexus, and our own house, and are fairly wealthy by local standards. I'm Italian-English ...
A. 2 January 2014: There are a mirad of "problems" none of which are not overcome by love but are clumsy for the kids. For example; Mom and dad would like to be here but they're at the retirement center checking out room availability for when I go off to college. ... (read in full...)
I asked her out and she said "we'll see".what do I do now?
Q. I like this girl that works at my local convenience store. The Monday before last (23rd) I asked her if she wanted to go and see the local pantomime, expecting her to say no, but instead she said yes, but she's have to see about her shifts. S...
A. 2 January 2014: Girls love a guy that respects her so respect her and wait,wait,wait, "we'll see" is as close to yes as anyone can ever hope for and probably is yes but the test is this; are you going to nag her or are you going to respect her? I suggesy sronly ... (read in full...)
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