Like what
he writes?
... Add *lderthandirt to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
|
I asked her out and she said "we'll see".what do I do now?
Q. I like this girl that works at my local convenience store. The Monday before last (23rd) I asked her if she wanted to go and see the local pantomime, expecting her to say no, but instead she said yes, but she's have to see about her shifts. S...
A. 2 January 2014: Girls love a guy that respects her so respect her and wait,wait,wait, "we'll see" is as close to yes as anyone can ever hope for and probably is yes but the test is this; are you going to nag her or are you going to respect her? I suggesy sronly ... (read in full...)
I like women but want to be married to a man. Is this normal?
Q. I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to ...
A. 2 January 2014: Normal is a relative term these days it seems. What was defined as "normal when I was young doesn't meet any standard today so who am I to make a judgement. I'll not post a comment so as to not stir up any emotion one way or another. Good Luck. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you're a rebound?
Q. I would really like to share my story here and get the honest opinions of other people. Thank you all so much. How do you know if you're a rebound? I am 20 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for a little over 6 months. When I...
A. 2 January 2014: If you feel like a rebound then you are one doesn't matter whether it's really true or not..it's how you feel that makes it real.... (read in full...)
Cheater Cheater!!!
Q. My husband bought another woman clothing and jewelry for Christmas I found the receipt in his truck, I know he will deny it, should I ask him about it or leave it alone? ...
A. 2 January 2014: Yeah you might want to be certain the stuff isn't for you or his mom though first then let it hit the fan.... (read in full...)
I think my man is having his cake and eating it too. What should I do?
Q. hi everyone I've never been on hear before so using it as a friend told me to so kind of now how it works.. anyway ive been with this guy for around 4 yrs meet him on a dating website he moved in with me and my lg in June and its been great bu...
A. 2 January 2014: First Get the heck away from FB it'll eat you alive with stress and it's just a time bandit. I see people so into fb as you call it that they won't go pee unless they tell someone about it first and get a group to go with. It is just insane. I ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a miser?
Q. My boyfriend met my family for the first time last week and we all went out to lunch. I was embarrassed because at the end of the meal, he didn't even offer to pick up the tab. Is that a red flag? My family did notice it and commented on it later. ...
A. 1 January 2014: The situation is always a fluid one and filled with ridiculous body language and assumptions when it comes to "picking up the check" It is a high anxiety moment for all. The ONLY Good solution is to agree before hand before ordering that it is ... (read in full...)
How to deal with previous sexual partners?
Q. Hey guys, I'm really stuck, I may be young but I am sure of this relationship I am in, there's literally one issue. The girl has had 6 sexual partners before me, and whilst there's worse things and worse numbers, I really really can't get ...
A. 30 December 2013: 6 or 60 who the heck cares? If you flip the situation over are you supposed to have linitless previous partners but she is not?... (read in full...)
Why do I always have to pay? She never offers!
Q. Help! I'm dating this girl I really like for a few months. Problem is I end up paying every time we're out and she never, ever offers to pay. I've talked to her about this but she says I'm the first guy she's dated who complained. I really like her ...
A. 30 December 2013: If you were brought up in America, you may have been taught that it's not the woman's "place" to pay for a meal on a date. Chilvelry is not dead it's just being ignored by some.... (read in full...)
My husband's sexual fetish frightens me
Q. Recently me and my husband had a romantic night in together, the night went well, it was on the day after Boxing Day. We had a lovely dinner and a romantic day in; the dinner was candlelit and my husband cooked it, not me! We were discussing each ...
A. 30 December 2013: OK he wins my wierdo of the month club. I'm Shocked! I guess you could buy a stun gun and have a fun time or drop a radio in the tub and wait for the orgasm. I'm stumped.Help is out there in a white coat somewhwere. Good Luck... (read in full...)
I think my marriage is ending and I don't know how to stop it!
Q. I suppose I'm really asking for people opinions here..... I have been married to my husband for 13 years and married for 3 of them. There is a 13 year age gap between us, I am 30 he is 43. Our sex life has always been ok, but over the past year it...
A. 30 December 2013: At or about age 40 - 45 males begin to "peter out" pardon the pun. porn helps but is short lived. The prostate seems to grow and stops producing fluids it justs pressures the bladder which is very annoying (gotta go-gotta go-gotta-go,etc) ergo the ... (read in full...)
Performance anxiety help?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for sometime and I do love her, but now that we've gotten to the point in our relationship where we make love, I've gotten performance anxiety. I wasn't able to get it up 100% and I figured the condom was too tight on ...
A. 30 December 2013: It might but you might fall asleep first. Valium is designed to relax you body.... (read in full...)
I have never climaxed during intercourse and it might ruin this relationship
Q. I haven't used Dear Cupid for a while - I guess I only come here when I need advice the most; when I've thought so hard about relationship issues but can't seem to come to any decision or conclusion. I need help; I just need some truthful answers. ...
A. 30 December 2013: Assuming you have no trouble with self-induced orgasm then it's perfectly OK to provide pressure to your self with your fingers during intercource. I mean he's not going to think less of you or something. In fact it's fairly normal.It would ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair but the woman would not leave him alone.
Q. Please help. My hubby had an affair with this girl about 2 years ago and we resolved the issue. But now th ex refuses to let go. She calls my husband's phn daily, sometimes with different numbers, even up to more than 10 times each day and says sh ...
A. 28 December 2013: you're right to worry. she's obviously obsessed and that means it is not going to end well. Have you thought about getting a restraing order? If your husband won't consider one then there is a possibility that he might be "stringing her along" and ... (read in full...)
I feel so used. Why didn't he value me as a friend?
Q. Ok please help I was very good friends with a guy then he started confiding in me he had problems with the girl he'd been with for 5 years saying she was manipulative and made his life hard Stupidly I became close and we kissed a few times after wh...
A. 28 December 2013: Pure and simple answer is; He's a jerk!... (read in full...)
Should my parents file for bankruptcy?
Q. Hello, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but just wanted to get some advice about my family. My parents (58 and 60 yrs old) are in a lot of debt. They have a business which has been losing money for a while and is putting t...
A. 27 December 2013: I'm not sure if this is the correct forum either, however, when my wife and I were in our mid 50's and our son was in college we made the sad decision to go the bancruptcy route and it has haunted me ever since. It is very traumatic(especially to ... (read in full...)
He says he cares for me, but doesn't love me!
Q. My boyfriend and I are both 17 and we've been dating for two months. We were hook up bbuddies for about a month before that though, with me being used as a rebound, and me using him cause I was horny. After we had sex (he was a virgin, I was not) we ...
A. 25 December 2013: This sounds like a train wreck in the works... (read in full...)
I'd like our relationship to be more focussed on respect
Q. Hey I'm in need of some advice. I'm in a relationship with someone of 22 and I'm 17, the age gap isn't the issue. I feel like a sexual object sometimes and its really concerning me. We haven't been officially together for much over a month and are ...
A. 25 December 2013: I obviously don't understand the concern if you act like a sexual object,i.e. having your blouse unbuttoned, then you will be treated as one. THe more you act the way you don't want to be treated... the more you'll be treated that way. To be ... (read in full...)
What's the perfect formula for when to have sex?
Q. Does it matter when u have sex with a man will he think less of u if u give it up too early or too late? What's the perfect formula if there is one? I am a quote in quite "pretty girl and highly educated". I've never had a tough time getting dates ...
A. 25 December 2013: It should matter but too often these days it seems that sex is trated lightly and is like hugging or stealing a kiss when no one is looking. To me it is a deeply intamate and emotional experience that involves total commitment and concentration. ... (read in full...)
I can't get over my wife's sordid sexual past
Q. I am dealing with some issues with my wife's sexual past, I dont know how many she was with but I know it was between 15 and 25. She lied about being with my friend when I asked her about a month after we started dating. She later told me they were ...
A. 25 December 2013: Yeah, I can relate. Before I married my wife she confessed to a past that should have driven me away but I was too far invested immotionally to back away and I'm glad I didn't. We've been married over 45 years now and it's been all good. The ... (read in full...)
He would rather masterbate on me than have sex with me
Q. HI There Please help me im going insane. my partner of a 1yr and I are living together, sex has never been often im lucky if I get it twice a week and it lasts about 5 minutes. In the begining I told him I was not happy about this as I have a heal...
A. 20 December 2013: All I can offer is my awkard opinion that he may be angry with you about something. I know I get that way with my spouse from time to time and loose interest in sex. The things I get angry about are probably dumb but they seem real at the time. ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is lousy and now I find he's been using a lot of porn
Q. Dear Cupid, I’m a bit messed up and confused at the moment, so I am hoping to get some answers/help. My partner and I have been together 3 years and were planning to marry next year. We had sex about twice a week when we first met, and I wa...
A. 19 December 2013: No one can "perform" up to the expectations of porn stars, ergo there will forever be frustration and anxiety during sex. You may want to postpone any plans until he gets over the porn addiction.... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed my boyfriend's thoughtless Christmas gift to me!
Q. I accidentally stumbled across the Christmas gift my boyfriend got me (it was addressed to me). It was a very wide, hot pink watch with a heart-shaped face, from a mid-range brand. I'm a little confused, because we have been together for 1 year and ...
A. 19 December 2013: Perhaps he's trying to help you out. Are you always late to funtions? Are you always asking people for the time? Maybe he has noticed you need a watch. In which case it is a very thoughtful and loving gift.... (read in full...)
Should I get my boyfriend's mom a gift for Christmas?
Q. I've been dating my bf for 3 months we get along great. I have said hello/seen his mom several times on skype, since she lives overseas. For Christmas my bf will be going to see her, should I buy her Christmas gift?? Would this be a nice detail or ...
A. 19 December 2013: I wouldn't give her a gift unless I was close to her and knew her very well,i.e., not via skype or email. espcially not something that she may be deathly alergic to like perfume. Wait until you've met her and known her for severl years.... (read in full...)
Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home?
Q. Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home? I have a small wooden sign hanging up in my hallway saying "Please remove your shoes," and am wondering if this may appear rude. I wouldn't throw a tantrum ...
A. 19 December 2013: Having grown up in Hawaii, I always thought it strange to ask folks to take off their shoes but it is the custom so most folks just do it anyway. I really never saw the need for it. If the bottom of your shoes have dirt on them so will the bottom ... (read in full...)
Why do men send photos of their genitals to women they barely know?
Q. Okay, inquiring minds must know. This appears to be a relatively new phenomenon, but in all seriousness, why do men send pics of their penises to women? I'm not talking about if you're in a committed relationship or if the girl ASKS for it. I'm...
A. 17 December 2013: Good grief! I can only speculate an overly inflated opinion of themself could prompt such an action. I would never consider doing that for sure. It's crazy stupid if you ask me. And ...you should consider this person certifiably nuts(pardon the ... (read in full...)
History with two older men, but right now I want neither of them
Q. I am currently depressed and honestly, I deserve it. I created an incredible mess. I was 18 when I met 33yr old "Jack" and though I didn't mean for it to happen, he became my first lover but he wanted to commitment. I was hurt but stuck by because I ...
A. 17 December 2013: No matter what you do they will be "hurt" in that every "older" man's fantasy is to be with a younger women and to be rejected from that will hurt. but the more important factor here is you. They'll get over it. Yeah you messed up. learn a lesson ... (read in full...)
How much fighting is too much?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm writing to ask your opinion on how much fighting is too much. I've been with my current boyfriend for just over a year, and I think he is the man I will spend my life with. In general, we get along very well, and we never have had ...
A. 15 December 2013: Any fighting is too much if fighting involves physical altercations. Minor disagreements are normal but shouldn't usually evolve into shouting matches or yelling. Healthy debate is good for a relationship in that it brings out exchanges of ... (read in full...)
I kissed another man, now my husband wants to sleep with someone to "get even"
Q. I've been married for 3 years and together for 6. I love my husband but we have had our issues in the past I cheated on him 6 months into our relationship by kissing another man he also touched my breasts. Nothing else happened and all contact with ...
A. 15 December 2013: where I come from they say "turn about is fair play" so I guess you need to let him go about his way and experiment himself into an early divorce. Because this appears to be where this little game is headed. You can unring a bell and since he can't ... (read in full...)
I want him to help with our children. But can I trust him? Should I trust him?
Q. Ok so here's the situation! I've been with my man going on three years and 2 months! It's been a heck of roller coaster I'll tell you this! Although I should have seen all the signs and signals to leave him in the beginning but being in "love" a...
A. 11 December 2013: There's no hint of a positive outcome in this situation in fact the gamble involves piuting children "at risk" ergo the safeest avenue I can see is to seek a permanent break from all this confusion and look for some path other than reuniniting with ... (read in full...)
How do I ask him out?
Q. What's the best way to ask out a shy guy? I talk to him every day and really like him. I asked him the other say if he wanted to go bowling and he said yes but he can't till after Christmas, however, that was just as friends I think. What should I ...
A. 8 December 2013: Is it shyness or comon fear? Boys are naturally fearfull of girls(fear of rejection). Eithe way be very cautious. Boys are vulnerable at that age so first drop some hints i.e. "If you were to want to go out with a girl, I'd go out with you" in a ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my housemate that his girlfriend cheated on him?
Q. Basically, I haven't known my housemate for a long time. Only about 3 months and he and his girlfriend have been together for about 7 months. This guy is a wonderful, decent and honest who absolutely adores her. Last night, I discovered from ...
A. 8 December 2013: Be careful, this may only be hearsay in which case you could set off a bomb. Make sure of the facts then proceed.... (read in full...)
Which is more important in a partner: being physically attractive, or being good in bed?
Q. I have a general question for everyone. Do you prefer a partner who is good looking but boring in bed, or a partner who is average looking but good in bed?...
A. 8 December 2013: There's "being a ten" and great in bed. If the two happen to coincide that's nice but you can't beat being great in bed...I mean what good is "being a ten" if you're a clumsy clown in bed? THe definition of great in bed,by the way, is providing ... (read in full...)
My instincts tell me he's not one for a FWB
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles I have recently started what is supposed to be a "friends with benefits" relationship with a guy who's almost 20 years older than me. He's an incredibly attractive man and we've liked each other for a few weeks and we fin...
A. 2 December 2013: Your instincts sound solid..follow them and forget FWB it NEVER works out very well from what I read on this site and others. Good Luck... (read in full...)
I'm 70 years old struggling with erectile dysfunction and I feel terrible that I cannot satisfy my girlfriend sexually
Q. Hello. I am 70 years old and active,however I have recently developed the old man's problem Erectile Dysfunction. I have been living with an East European lady whom I adore very much,for over a year now. Anyway with my problem,proper sex is no...
A. 2 December 2013: The only one that can adequetly direct you is your doctor any advice you could get from me or any other "aunt/uncle" would be lame. I'm 70 also but have the opposite problem (no where to put it).... (read in full...)
My stepson says he is in love with me and won't take no for an answer!
Q. Hi I hope someone can help me I'm 29 and I'm married to my 45 husband for 10yrs with 2 beautiful step kids I love very much. Things haven't been good with my husband and I for years a month after we got married he started to abuse me in every way ...
A. 2 December 2013: Wow that's wierd but maybe the "love" is tranferance from a need for biological motherly love and he's all jammed up inside and doesn't know how to deal with it in a rational way. He surely needs professional advice and a few sessions on the couch ... (read in full...)
Caught him looking at porn after he said he would never do it again!
Q. Caught my husband months ago lurking into porn videos. Said would never do again. Swore promised. Said was stupidness curiosity and wrong but did it. Doesn't mean anything just says computer wass there one click lead into many videos. I believed ...
A. 2 December 2013: This is an easy one in my view, If you can't deal with the fact that men love to view porn and it makes you crazy and breaks your heart when they lie about it, then peraps you need to practice living alone because the world is a sexual place and ... (read in full...)
Is my ex worth the second chance?
Q. I broke up with my ex about 5 months ago. He had a temper and we found ourselves in regular arguments, every week or 2 weeks. It was never physical, but he said some pretty hurtful comments. I was done with crying all the time and ended it. The ...
A. 2 December 2013: Sounds like to me you should let sleeping dogs lie. Anger management is something you should never have to hope your boyfriend is good at. One sould assume that anger is not an issue and if it is the angry person should be shunned in my ... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't approve of the man that I love
Q. Hi, I am marsha. I am 25 year old graduated last year. I love someone who is younger than me. WE were friends before. I know him past 3 year now. We got close like best friend the end of 3year. Then one fine day he asked me out .. not just dating b...
A. 19 November 2013: Mothers only have the best interest for their children(yeah I know you're 25)so, I would not discount her feeling out of hand. maybe she sees some trouble ahead that you don't see. Ask her to be honest and tell you exactly what she thinks then ... (read in full...)
Do men keep stuff from their ex girlfriends?
Q. Hi. Firstly I'm typing this on my phone so sorry for any mistakes. I'll try and make this short. I've known this guy for six years as friends. We just recently startde dating and so far its been amazing. He's sweet, nice, focused on school a...
A. 18 November 2013: No man ever forgets his first love..maybe she was his?... (read in full...)
Married 41 years. Any tips to spice up our sex lives please?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 41 years, i'm 65 and she's 64. We used to have a great sex life but we haven't had sex for a couple of years now and it can get frustrating. Has anyone got any tips to spice up our sex lives? Thanks...
A. 18 November 2013: Not gonna happen my friend, In my view women give up on sex at age 45. Too bad for us guys.... (read in full...)
What advice would you give to your 20 year old self
Q. What advice would you give to your 20 year old self? Financial, relationship and just general life information you wish you had known. My biggest fear is wasting my life, I think about this daily. I constantly feel like I should be doing/...
A. 18 November 2013: Probably the BEST question ever! Since I'm a very senior member of this Q and A site...I'd give myself the following bits of advice if I were to go back in time to age 20(wow,if only)
!. save every dime possible and put it into tax-free bonds
2... (read in full...)
Caught him looking at porn after he said he would never do it again!
Q. Caught my husband months ago lurking into porn videos. Said would never do again. Swore promised. Said was stupidness curiosity and wrong but did it. Doesn't mean anything just says computer wass there one click lead into many videos. I believed ...
A. 11 November 2013: WEll, you could hire a hit man or divorce him...OR get over yourself and realize it's only natural for men to like porn as a simple distraction..I mean it's not real adultary or anything. If anything for a man it'd frustrating to see those well ... (read in full...)
| *lderthandirt's friends
These are mutual friends, so *lderthandirt has
added them and they have added *lderthandirt!
|
