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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Neighbor asked my daughter to be bridesmaid then cancelled the big wedding and now I'm stuck with a dress and shoes!
Q. My Nextdoor neighbour was due to get married in August and asked my 7 year old daughter to be bridesmaid. My daughter was thrilled as she'd never been a bridesmaid before and it was probably her only chance (before shes an adult)as all our ...
A. 6 June 2014: I'm pretty sure she will be once again asked to be a bridesmaid again sosavethe dress for next time.Opps, I just remembered it was probably a "themed/colorized "sort of thing so maynot be reusable. However, it'll make a gaet prom dress later. Don't ... (read in full...)
Why can't this reserved guy tell me sober what he told me when he was drunk?
Q. So here’s the thing, I started working as a bar tender a wile back at this pub and I met this guy there, who is a totally gorgeous stud with brains to match. To only problem is that he’s really reserved. Everyone at work know that we have a thing an...
A. 6 June 2014: In my experience with the "truth-versus-sober" issue. When I drink too much I say things that I wish I had not said the following day. If the truth WAS told while drunk but is too painful to face when sober perhaps he should not have shared so much ... (read in full...)
Living together 3 years and it looks like he has no plans for marriage!
Q. I have been going out with a man for 3 years now. We live together and He has a son whom lives with him from a previous relationship. Me and the son get on great :) and there is not issues with the boys mother. My thing is after 3 years together...
A. 6 June 2014: My quick and dirty answer is easy; dump him for a life of your own choosing. You need not be a "fixture" in a man's life that is obviously aloof and unable to commit. Wow , I never thought I'd take a stance like that! it is not a typical male POV ... (read in full...)
After 7 years together how much does the average couple have sex?
Q. Hi there I am just about to move in with my boyfriend of 7 years. I just wonder really how often on average couples who have been together this long have sex? We hardly do anymore. Maybe once or twice a month at the moment. Half the time I ca...
A. 6 June 2014: After the first week or so of being passionate, things go downhill fast. All the guys I know agree that after a year if you have sex more than once a month you're pretty lucky, every year thereafter it gets to be less and less frequent until the ... (read in full...)
Friend with benefits has an ex visiting from overseas and told me not to contact him or visit him while she's here! What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing and sleeping with a man for just over 9 months now. Just out of the blue, he told me his ex from the USA is coming over to stay with him for a month. First he said it was without warning, and then his story changed, saying it was ...
A. 4 June 2014: Hello! Friends with "benefits" is a dumb concept anyway. Leaving that aside, He is "free" to do whatever the heck he wants to do. and, you are free to think whatever you want about his being with someone else. Maybe your condition will serve notice ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles Here goes! I've been with my hub for 12 years and pretty much can stay it's been a good marriage! When we met we both had 2 children each from previous marriages and decided almost 8 years ago to have our own child togeth...
A. 4 June 2014: The "added" stress of having a "special child" probably has affected boh of you.However, you can't just get all ballistic and run away because you don't feel all warm and cuddly anymore...time does that to ALL relationships.... (read in full...)
He is my first love!! Please give me some advice
Q. My boyfriend and I have been close friends and we started dating recently. He is 8 years older than me but I love his personality. He is my ideal boyfriend. We play sports together every week and text each other everyday. He seems really seriously ...
A. 2 June 2014: read Mark's reply and you'll see wisdom.... (read in full...)
Are there any decent guys out there still? Will I ever find somebody normal?
Q. I'm a depressed, 32 year old female and I'm starting to wonder whether I will ever find a normal guy....I'm loyal, attractive, caring, trustworthy and I seem to end up with all of these guys that have 1 or more major issues. I know nobody is ...
A. 9 May 2014: Thee are lots of "good guys" left in the world. But they are all looking for a caring women who want them for who they are and not the fantasy man with the abs and the 8-incher.... (read in full...)
My husband requests fellatio all the time and not only that! What do you do when your husband denies you a sexual orgasm or intercourse if you don't do it first?
Q. I don't want to bash my husband or write insensitively of him but it has caused a little ripple in our marriage where it hasn't completely gone away. By continually asking for me to give him oral sex but it's not as bad as it was before when he kept ...
A. 9 May 2014: Iagree with the vibrator sugestion...make sure he knows you are able to get off without him and tell him you are not going to be his slut anymore... (read in full...)
Give me some ideas to make him miss me and get excited about me again!
Q. I'm so depressed right now. There's so much trouble withmy boyfriend of 5 years. He's not the same with once we knew each other. He's busy with his friends and we are rarely see each other. How to make him miss me and excited about me again? ...
A. 9 May 2014: Ts is not a serious proposal...How to make a man fall in love = bring beer, show up naked and don't stand in front of the TV. If he's not interested after 5 years you may have seen the best times in the rear view mirror and it might be time to move ... (read in full...)
He always wants sex
Q. Okay, so my boyfriend won't stop trying to have sex, we can never stay in a just watch a dvd, he always trys it on, and I tell him no but he will carry on until he gets it, should I say something? Thanks ...
A. 5 May 2014: Yeah, tell him to go take a cold shower. Nothing worse than going to someone's house and their littl dog starts humping your leg but finally you got to either kick the dog in the sensitive area or just get up and leave. I'd recomend the later. He ... (read in full...)
She said she's lost passion for the relationship
Q. my girlfriend broke up with me last Thursday because of some mixed feelings and confusion on both of our parts. I pushed her away because I was starting to smother her too much and she lost interest in the relationship and was feeling miserable, at ...
A. 5 May 2014: Read CMMP's reply again 'cause he said it right!... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have an intimate relationship with someone who's still married, and connected through family?
Q. I am a little confused about family relations. Recently I have been confronted by my aunt's brother in-law whom confessed feelings for me. I too have had feelings for him. My aunt is still married to his brother. However, it has been said they wil...
A. 4 May 2014: Depends on how close thamily member is. No one can tell you what to do but before you do it think of how it will sound to others in the family trees. Will you be looked at in a strange way within the family? Just think first and act slowly next.... (read in full...)
Afraid of sex -- is this normal?
Q. Dear all, My problem is that I find sex to be a dirty thing Its difficult for me to imagine some one enter his private parts in mine or me licking some ones private parts I do watch porn But enjoy only till kissing or basically seeing coupl...
A. 4 May 2014: You sound normal to me. You just have not met the right guy yet. Not all guys are dirty and yucky. Just find the right guy,then think about the rest.... (read in full...)
Are my expectations way too high? Will I ever find true love before I get too old? Is it the lack of decent guys around, or is it me?
Q. I'm 19. Never been kissed. Never been on a single date. Slightly shy, but capable of leadership. I'm agnostic, slightly veering towards atheism...but waiting till marriage for sex. I have a strange liking for white guys...which shouldn't be a ...
A. 4 May 2014: You will be a great "catch" for the right guy. Just work on that shyness thing and quit wondering about your worries about how you are percieved by others. Times are changed for the better now and bi-racial couples are everywhere so find the guy of ... (read in full...)
Guys ... Have you ever seen a woman and been so turned on that you felt the need to go and relieve yourself?
Q. A question for the guys ... Have you ever seen a woman and been so turned on that you felt the need to go and relieve yourself .... I ask because my bf said he did this before we were together . He saw a very sexy woman one day out and said he went ...
A. 4 May 2014: How old is your "boyfiend" if he is just now going through puberty then maybe I could understand but if he is over 18 or 19 then he is strange.... (read in full...)
My fiancee didn't tell me that he's frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is involved!
Q. I need help. My fiancee didn't tell me that he is frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is going on. I am devastated. He says that he went there for relaxation but i can't see how going to prostitutes is a form of relaxation. ...
A. 4 May 2014: I'd read ms Honeypie and take that road---Relaxation can definetly be achieved via a little romp in the sack but so can a myriad of STDs.... (read in full...)
How much does porn influence a mans expectations of how a woman should look naked?
Q. Ok please help aunts and uncles .... I'm single and ready to date again after a lengthy marriage. I have met a few guys but one really nice one and I'm pretty sure things will become physical soon I'm just a little worried thought as I know he has...
A. 4 May 2014: From one man's point of view the answer is zero...Porn in my view is obviously fantasy and we men know that women in general do not act or look the way the porn stars do. It is all about our fantasy. We dream of being well endowed so as to please a ... (read in full...)
Married now and sex life has bombed, what to do?
Q. Been married a month, living together 6 months and dating 3 years prior to that. Fabulous sex life until now. It's like as soon as we were married he wasn't interested. There are no worries now except for his job but they're the same worries as b...
A. 3 May 2014: mr brown wolf makes sense to me... (read in full...)
I rarely see my boyfriend, is this a rough patch?
Q. Hi everyone, Lately I've been find it hard to cope with how much I'm seeing my boyfriend. We've been dating for a year now and recently he got a new position at work which has limited the time we see each other. We use to see each other almost ev...
A. 3 May 2014: Maybe it's just a temporary readjustment of priorities. Soimes we need to focus on work, sometimes on fun, sometimes on relationship building. but there are a limited number of hos in the day. I'd call it a 'rough patch" if that makesou feel better ... (read in full...)
I am boring and bland. People have told me I haven't found myself.
Q. 1. I get angry when things don't got my way. I feel like it goes everyone's way but mine. 2. I have no friends. I have no one to talk to or go out and do things with. I don't feel loved or important to anyone. I've never really had friends....
A. 3 May 2014: Self loathing is a baplace to be in. I would runnot walk to the nearest professional to get help in self worth(a minister or psychiatrist, someone that has credentials and experience. You are in a very dark place right now and need some help. We ... (read in full...)
When we try to have sex, he goes soft. Could he be gay?
Q. Hi, so I have a question about the sexuality of the guy that I am seeing. The guy that i am currently seeing is 20 and I am 19. Him and I have not been seeing each other very long, just about a month, but for the past two weekends we have been try...
A. 2 May 2014: Definrtly NOT gay or you wouldn't get far enough along to experience the issue. Sounds like a simple case of prematurejaculation. Lots of men find themseves in this situation. I's easy to fix. Iyou reup on it, you wll find a lot of theropisttell ... (read in full...)
Do women think the key to attracting men is to dress like sluts?
Q. Hi this question is not specific to one specific relationship but more on a general level, in my effort to meet someone. I'm curious about why when going out on say a Friday or Saturday night, young (and not so young) women feel the need to dress ...
A. 2 May 2014: Straight to the point...the answer is yes it will attract men but what kind of men are ylooking to attract? Most menI know find a woman in cut-offjeans, flip-flops, T-shirt an NO makeup to be the sexiest of m all. The moremake-up(espially ... (read in full...)
I had a threesome before I got married. Do I tell my husband?
Q. I was involved in a once only threesome with my ex bf and another girl. Deeply regretted. Should I tell the man I married later? He has had premarital sex but not of this kind....
A. 2 May 2014: No that's yo secrete why give him that mental image of you haveing what most men fantasize about anyway. plus why all the self-loathing. It was fun right and no one got hurt YET.... (read in full...)
Is this how a booty call works or not?
Q. So Aunts and Uncles.. I had sex with a guy laat night. He's my sisters friend and I like to consider it a "booty call" and thought we were on the same page. Well we stopped by Walmart afterward and he kept holding my hand and kissing me in public. ...
A. 2 May 2014: Be careful. I think it's a setup for future "booty calls" After all, Wich of us men would turn down great on-the-side lovin..If we knew it was safe and discrete?... (read in full...)
He's an awesome boyfriend but I just can't come to terms with his past
Q. I feel like such a dumbass for writing this question. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months or so, and he's an exceptional boyfriend. It's been great, I'm really happy. Except I'm having problems accepting his past. I know, I know... it shoul...
A. 2 May 2014: I actually know what you're going through. Even though I am a man(men have feelings too you know). I was exactly where you are! with the he an she flipped. However, I put my feelings into a cold dark place in my memory bank and only inspect them ... (read in full...)
Where am I going wrong?
Q. Can someone tell me whats wrong with men today? I was dating a guy i met recently. He was a shy or quiet person anyway and when i text him i would get very dry responses and I ask him had he plans for the weekend. It seems I have offended him and...
A. 2 May 2014: I fail to see why you think its about you. Maybe he was just a dud. You're better off. Go try again but be with folks you trust.... (read in full...)
I have no interest in anything, anymore.
Q. For about 2 months now I've been feeling very empty. Bored out my mind, nothing excites me anymore. My boyfriend and I split 3 weeks ago and I've not cried or spoken to anyone about it and that is not me at all. I just feel so empty nothing in ...
A. 2 May 2014: Sounds like depression(a mild case). Easy get up go out,be with friends or even strangers. just with other people. laugh at stupid jokes,kiss someone. good luck... (read in full...)
Is my online date a bit weird?
Q. I've been chatting to a 45 year old guy online who was keen to meet new friends and go dating. I was going to meet him at the weekend and we've been chatting for a week. He works from home and is also renovating his place. He boils up batches of ...
A. 2 May 2014: Never invest emotion,time or money to an on-line flirt! It will always blow up in your face!... (read in full...)
Attracted to a girl but I'm straight?
Q. Okay so I need some advice. I'm 20, female and always thought I was straight. But lately I've become kinda confused because there's this female singer, and well, I'm really attracted to her. I'm confused big time. I've never had a boyfrien...
A. 2 May 2014: It means you're normal! All of us go through several what if fantasy stages in our lives. If you act on ALL of those stages you'll go nuts though so just enjoy the ride. Life can be soo friggin beautiful if you just slowly enjoy each and every ... (read in full...)
My friends tell me I should give my boyfriend a BJ
Q. A lot of my friends are wanting me to give my boyfriend a blowjob, and he agreed to wanting me too when i asked. But i feel like we are kind of young for this to be happening. My friends said it was okay because we have been dating for 6 months, but ...
A. 2 May 2014: Yeah I think you're right about being too young. Your "friends" may be wanting you to do something so that they can feel better about themselves doing something they're ashamed of(misery does love company). When you get older(oh say,19 or 20) then ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend?
Q. Hello, and thank you to those to can guide me in my dilemma. My boyfriend has depression, and is suicidal. He opened up about these thoughts is January, and was hospitalized and got a psychologist, anti-depressants and the whole package. After ...
A. 1 May 2014: The obvious and logical answer is yes leave this situation. On the other hand,ponder this; So you leave a vulnerable soul and he acts upon the suicidal threats,now what? are you forever racked with guilt? It's worth an introspective look I would ... (read in full...)
Is it always the guy's fault when things go wrong?
Q. Its going to be a long story so please be patient. In Dec 2010, I met this girl in a party, we clicked instantly and hooked up in the next week itself. 2011 was a breeze, we had an amazing time, took vacations, had sex like crazy. We were a fun co...
A. 26 April 2014: Well, let's see; who else they gonna blame?... (read in full...)
Everybody knows he likes another girl so what can I do?
Q. Ok, hi there. I am a 16 year old girl who us super shy. No-one pays attention to me due to my 2 pretty best friends( they know their prettier than me and make me feel worse). Recently a boy at my school has started talking to me just saying hi etc, ...
A. 21 April 2014: Guess what, Prety is Highly over-rated. I mean a pretty girl can be a real dog when it comes to relationships. I can remember way back when that the best dates were ALWAYS with the "B list" girls. The 'a-list" girls knew they were the A list and ... (read in full...)
Husband says he feels like a prostitute because I want him to have sex with me? What can I do?
Q. My husband does not have a sex drive anymore. We are both young in our mid-twenties. We have been together for nearly 10 years. Our sex life has been at times amazing and at times sparse. I always seem to want it more than him. In the past he has u...
A. 18 April 2014: Any advice I might add would be far less important that what you have already rec'd. just know the exact same problem exists for a lot of men too. with the wife going into the re-virgination mode.... (read in full...)
Money matters--he asks why I don't contribute my share, but I keep offering to do so!
Q. "Money Matters " Im a single parent with 2 kids. Living pay check to pay check. What can i do? I have been in this relationship for 5yrs. He lives in his own place with his kids and ive got my own place with my kids. When my man takes me out we ...
A. 15 April 2014: You shold avoid this guy, he thinks more of himself than of you. I know in some cultures this sort of thing(me man you-not!) is acceptable. In this culture not so much.... (read in full...)
Is there one person you've never got over?
Q. Is there one person you've never got over? When I was in my early 20s I had a brief (2 year) relationship with a man. He was the first man to ever treat me properly and he was the perfect gentleman - for the first 18 months at least! The last ...
A. 15 April 2014: Yes! there is always the "WHAT IF" in everyone's mind, I can't tell you how to deal with it, 'cause I haven't figured it out yet after 50 years.... (read in full...)
Break or no break?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and lately we've been having more conflicts than usual. We've been spending a lot of time together these past months and seeing each other almost every day unless we each other have plans. He's usually ...
A. 14 April 2014: I'd recommend a "time out" from one anotrher for at least 2 weeks.... (read in full...)
Teen daughter asked me to get her a vibrator
Q. caught my daughter (15) using my vibrater she finished then came to me she said that had sex once and did not like it she like pleasing her self better than she asked if I could get her a vibrated of her own an teach or help her to makes sure she is ...
A. 14 April 2014: It is healthy and safe alternative to flopping in bed with the first guy that "promises he'll take care of her "needs" so where's the downside?... (read in full...)
Unhappy in my marriage.
Q. I need advice about my marriage. My husband and I have only been married a year, but we've been together for going on 7 years in December. We have a 1 year old together. I feel like we are just coexisting and not even trying to work as a team. He...
A. 13 April 2014: I wish you only the best. Getting married real young has the danger of fading real fast,but you can't be told that when you're young so it's not your fault (or his) It's sad that there's a young child involved because regardless of what people try ... (read in full...)
What does he mean by "emotionally invested"?
Q. If a man who is known for being extremely bad at expressing his emotions but who you think fancies you, blurts out that he is 'emotionally invested' in you/your future, what does that mean? That he cares as a friend? Or more?...
A. 13 April 2014: read Tisha-1 she has him pegged!... (read in full...)
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