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Our 'friends with benefits' situation seems to be going fine, but she showed one strange sign?

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2017)
A male Australia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Me and my friend tried having sex twice. We talked about the possibility of it happening for ages and it seems to be working out. A lot of people are skeptical about a FWB type thing but it feels right for us. There has been no awkwardness between sessions at all and we are still very good friends.

The important thing is to make sure, obviously, that there are no feelings. My friend did something (literally just one tiny thing) that I picked up on. The second time after we did it, she rolled over to go to sleep, and put my hand on her bare breast while we slept in a kind of spooning position. I wasn't sure whether this was just a kinky / meaningless thing or whether it was veering into something else. Did it mean anything? It is more something a boyfriend and girlfriend would do? Aside from this the sex was just to the point and how FWB sex should be. Should I ask her about it?

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (15 October 2017):

Ciar agony auntSounds like post-coital bliss to me. Nothing more.

It has nothing to do with wanting to feel feminine. No strings attached doesn't mean it has to be mechanical does it? Are you just supposed to immediately wash up, get dressed and leave? How sexy is that?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2017):

Some times and this is something I’ve been taught by experience is that women love sex as much as men. But, women also need a man to sleep with not sexually just to wrap up in to feel feminine about themselves. Don’t read anything into it, but then again she maybe falling in love with you women tend to fall in love with their best friends who they depend on trust implicitly and can have confidence in. A good woman sees sexy different than men men it’s beauty women it’s how a man perceives himself . Welcome to the real world

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017):

I asked this question.

Yes I agree with you guys. I've never seen a problem with doing things like kissing and stroking if it's NOT your girlfriend or a long term partner. I just heard this rule out there that it's unusual to do stuff like that... but I've always disagreed.

Honestly I think we can continue doing this kind of stuff without it meaning anything.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (27 September 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt I think you are overthinking this.

It does not have any special meaning; it's a comfort thing. (Some ) people like spooning, like to be held when falling asleep. They like the physical sensation.

I must say that reading your post verges on disquieting, for me :), - and I am so happy that I am not 20 anymore and not having sex with 20something people- because I don't think I would like it.

You are not the first or only young poster, from both gender, who seems to operate this precise, neat, mathematical distinction between the kind of sex you have for fun, and the kind you have for love.

Like, you can't ever have a crossover. If it's not

" serious ", you can't ever have a moment of tenderness. If it's FWB, you can't get / give a kiss on the forehead , a hug, a cuddle....

It must all be about genitals, and orgasms,- and when you are done,... everyone neatly in their half of the bed ?....

Brrrrr!. What can I say, as for me, this idea just makes me shiver. But, to each his own, I guess.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (27 September 2017):

Dionee' agony auntShe may not have deeper feelings for you. Maybe she just likes being held because it makes the situation more comfortable. It shouldn't mean anything else in my book... but... if it's really killing you then just ask her. No harm done.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (26 September 2017):

N91 agony auntI really don't see how you could think this means she has deep feelings for you.

Females enjoy their breasts being touched the same as males enjoy their penis being touched. You're thinking way too deeply into it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 September 2017):

Honeypie agony auntThere are not rules set in stone for what FWB people do and people who actually date do after sex.

Do I think it's a pretty intimate gesture? One that shows she is VERY comfortable with you?

Yes.

Does it mean she has deeper feelings for you?

Not necessarily.

You could, if you are really curious, go to the source (AKA her!) and ask her.

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