A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We are friends for 4-5 years. He is younger then me and he likes girls always have lot of different girls mostly one night stand and also few relationships for maximum 4month. He always goes out with me Im like his homeboy and also bro however I cant understand he says that he is comfortable with me he preferes to go with me for traveling then with some girl because he will be boared with her. I don't understand what is that we are really comfortable with eachother and at the same time We are not in any kind of feelings towards eachother I think we are afraid to show any interest towards eachother he is not the relationships guy and also he is good friend with my ex we are friends with my ex.. also .. I dont know if he likes me so much will it change? I want to try what will happen if we try he is only 23 now should I make any steps to find out ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all guys I understand your point and I agree with you all. Thank you for answers I wont think of it anymore I still think in few years if we still be like that :D we would have no other choice just to try it out but not now. I really dont have feeling towards him so its just normal for me to be friends. Im just curious that lot of times he told different people about me that she is my wife and :D Sometimes I just feel that he dont want me to have any boyfriend he never likes the guys I choose. Thank you for giving good answers
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2017): Pay no attention to his words or acts of jealousy. If he doesn't step-up to the plate himself; he's just being territorial, knowing other guys won't give him regular access to you. He likes popping-in and out of your life at his convenience. While seeing other women!
All that talk about wife and all that; that's just flirty-talk that doesn't mean anything. It's absolute bullsh*t!!!
When he asks you out on romantic-dates, calls you on a regular basis, and courts you properly; that's when you take him seriously. Nothing so far has even justified giving him your feelings; other than as his friend.
Get out there and make yourself available. Don't even figure that sometime in the future he will come-around. It's now or never! By then, you should have found the right guy for you.
Sweetie, you don't wait. Destiny hasn't made that materialize when you wanted it. So living on wishful-thinking will keep your heart on-hold; while missing-out on the guy meant for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all guys I understand your point and I agree with you all. Thank you for answers I wont think of it anymore I still think in few years if we still be like that :D we would have no other choice just to try it out but not now. I really dont have feeling towards him so its just normal for me to be friends. Im just curious that lot of times he told different people about me that she is my wife and :D Sometimes I just feel that he dont want me to have any boyfriend he never likes the guys I choose. Thank you for giving good answers
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2017): Hard as it may be to fathom; you can be female and just be a guy's friend. It doesn't mean you're not sexy, or less feminine in his eyes. His fondness for you doesn't cross-over into romance. He's not afraid. You said he likes a lot of different girls. There's a clue!
He doesn't see you as a bro; you're a great female-companion. Women prefer to be the ones to place the guy in the friends-zone. In reality, it goes both-ways.
You understand him, you're easy to talk to; but he doesn't have romantic-feelings towards you. He explained that to you; but your feelings towards him have a difficult time accepting it. Your ego interprets that as rejection; because it's not on your terms. You have to work it out in your head. You should be dating and not waiting. Other guys, that is.
By the way, guys never see females like one of the guys. We are constantly aware of gender differences. Sometimes you just fit-in; because you may have interests guys are more prone to appreciate. Even girls who are "Tom-boys" and very masculine don't get turned into guys. They just blend-in with more ease.
He's not ready to settle-down into a commitment. He likes dating a new girl with a new personality. If only more young people would date more of a variety of people. They'd find better matches for themselves. Don't get attached to the first person who has a few things in-common; and happens to be of the opposite-sex.
This is what OP's tell us all the time. "Oh we chat a lot, we message all-day, and have so many things in-common." So do your friends!
Don't just grow feelings out of convenience; because there's a bird in the hand, and you don't want the challenge of finding someone the hard-way. Why search, there's a great guy right here? Well, he's looking elsewhere. If he doesn't get it out of his system; he'll feel caged in a relationship.
He needs to talk to a level-headed, intelligent, mature-female from time to time. That's you. Yet he also needs to kick-it with "girls" not so serious, and closer to his maturity-level.
His attraction to you is limited to friendship. It seems you may think like so many single-females; that all male-attention should translate into romance. Why not? He's single and available. Why other girls, you're right here!
If not, he's labeled gay, a player, or commitment-phobic. If it soothes the female-ego to think so; so be it. It doesn't make it true.
Well, sometimes the girl gets placed in the "friend-zone."
Even after sex; it may only go from friends, to friends with benefits. The chemistry just isn't there to be anything else. Even if you get along famously. It means you're compatible in a platonic sort of way. He might fit your criteria for boyfriend-material; but he's not ready for a girlfriend. I sense this is a matter of convenience. He just happens to be male, and you happen to be a single-female.
He's not mature enough for you; and he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. So like Honeypie suggests, stick to friendship. If that doesn't work for you; give yourself some distance, so your feelings can cool-off.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2017):
 I agree, not for the first time, with Honeypie.
I am afraid that you are driven by wishful thinking.
Being considered by a man like one of the boys or a bro or " like family " etc. is not a good sign , romantically. It is a good sign insofar it shows that you are good company, a good friend, a good person... but, of course, the way you like a sibling or one of your homies, is totally different from the way you like a woman that you find desirable / datable. He can be happy to spend time with you , but the chemistry, the sexual tension, is lacking.
Also, considering his age, when he says he feels comfortable with you , more comfortable than with other women,... I suspect it's not that big of a compliment , you know ? It probably means that with you he does not have to stand on ceremony and mind his manners, his language and his hygiene , as he should with datable ( or beddable ) women. That he feels free to not shave, to wear mismatched socks,to scratch his balls - and that he does not have to impress you, to pay for dates or give you flowers or compliment your new outfits. As a good homie and bro- you are low maintenance , which makes you relaxing company. But relaxing does not mean sexually/ romantically attractive.
Even if my theory is wrong, though- I'd let him be anyway and would not try to pursue anything. He seems still very " young " , still in the sowing -my-wild-oats phase . Now, while I believe that if a woman is determined enough she can seduce even the Pope if she wants,- yeah you make things " happen " with him, and then ? You'd most probabaly be another notch on his bedpost, he does not seem out his notch-collecting phase yet.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (25 September 2017):
 I agree with Honeypie.
More often than not, if a guy is interested in pursuing you romantically he will do, how else would he know whether you like him back or not? Therefore what I think he's doing is treating you as a friend, because that's all you are to him.
It seems that you have developed feelings but wouldn't like to admit it because you know deep down this isn't going anywhere or else it already would have.
I'd seperate myself from this guy for a while so your feelings can die down. He doesn't see you as a romantic option I'm afraid.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 September 2017):
 I think you are wondering what's up because YOU have caught feelings for him and would like for it to be more.
But... Let me tell you a guy who has a series of other women in FRONT of you, you treat you like a "homeboy" or "bro" doesn't SEE you as a romantic option. You are "fully" one of the boys.
SO... it doesn't seem like he is leading you on or giving you mixed signals but it's YOU on the other hand who have decided you might WANT more. You might WANT to be one of the girls he bangs or date for a maximum of 4 months. Though in your mind it wouldn't be an ONS between you two OR a short relationship, it would be more....
I think he is acting his age, he is not interested in a serious relationship (or his longest wouldn't be only 4 months), he is immature and more preoccupied with getting laid than anything of substance, hence the many ONS's.
Don't waste your time on this guy, he isn't into you. And in reality this is not the kind of guy you want, that much is obvious from how you describe him having all these ONS and short-lived relationships.
Stick to being friends or wish him well and move on.
I've had male friends like yours. They were actually a very good friend but (from what I saw and heard) horrible BFs.
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