A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been trying to end my relationship for the last 8 months without feeling a massive amount of guilt. The situation I'm in has became incredibly messy and I just feel very broken by what has happened over this passed year. I've been with my 'boyfriend' for 5 years and 2 years ago we bought a house together. Last summer, I became very sick and ended up having a kidney removed. After having to take a couple months off work to recover, it put a strain on our relationship and things became financially difficult. At the start of this year, our relationship was all but over and I told him that I think it's time, we sold up and went out separate ways. A day after this, he sent me a text telling me he was going to kill himself if I broke up with him, even going as far as leaving a note and disappearing. Out of guilt I decided to stay but things only got worse. He's overdosed 3 times since then and blamed me etc. We don't sleep in the same room, we have no intimate relationship,I see him for at best about 1 hour a week. This is not a relationship, this feels like a prison. We're just 2 people who live in the same house.I have been seeing someone else (who knows everything about my situation and is very understanding) for the last 6 months which he doesn't know about and we have recently found out I'm pregnant. I now know that I have to put the nail in the coffin and put my foot down about this being over. But I'm absolutely terrified that he will do something stupid and I have that on my conscience.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 Sweetie that would never be your fault. My guess is he is all talk and nobody who loves you would threaten that and say it would be your fault. He really is a nasty piece off work. While I don't agree with the cheating, it is clear to see you need to get away from him. Contact your solicitor tell them the threats and see where you stand with the house. Most importantly put your baby first.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 September 2017):
 Put your child first.
RIGHT now.
DO you think it's a good idea to RAISE this child around THIS man? A guy who tries to kill himself who threatens to kill himself and makeS YOU walk on eggshells in fear?
The LAST thing a mother needs during a pregnancy is stress.The body (and fetus) can go days without the mother eating but constant stress? Not good for either of them.
Pack your stuff, move out. If he calls and threatens to kill himself call 999 (or whatever the emergency service number is). Inform his family. LET them take over the responsibility.
Him overdosing and then blaming you doesn't MAKE it your fault. OR your responsibility. HE made the choice to OD. Just so he could control you.
Is this how you see your life from now on? Everything on his WHIMS?
You need to stop taking responsibility for HIS choices.
Again, contact his family - tell him he is suicidal and you can't deal with it anymore. Call authorities if he claims he has just OD'd, so he can GET the help he needs.
He isn't happier with you being there. He is still "trying" or pretending to kill himself whether you are there or not.
Isn't it time you start living your life without this constant fear?
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/united-kingdom-suicide-hotlines.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Break-Up-With-Someone-Who-Is-Threatening-Suicide
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/feb/07/friend-wants-to-leave-partner-suicide
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (27 September 2017):
 OP, he is manipulating you into staying with him.
Now that you've found someone that makes you happy, I suggest that you move on and be happy for your pregnancy with your new love. It's not healthy for you to be worrying about whether or not he will kill himself because you have to worry about having a healthy and successful pregnancy.
The thing about people like him is that they always want to blame other people for the state of their lives which in actual fact has nothing to do with anyone else.
Don't let him rob you of the happiness that you should be experiencing right now.
I say let go and let God.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (27 September 2017):
You are in a prison of your own making. This individual has manipulated you into staying with him. It is long past time for you to move on with your life.
You cannot be responsible for someone else's life. Move in with your bf. And tell this other man that you are leaving. If you have to get a lawyer to handle the sale of your house. That way you won't have to interact with him and have him try to guilt trip you.
Does he have family? If he does let them know about his behavior and hopefully they will get him the help he needs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017): Pack your things up .. go be a family with the new guy you deserve to be happy and you carnt bring a baby up there so get out .. he's not your problem
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 September 2017):
 That is not for you to worry about.
Yes it's not a very nice thought, but are you going to live with him forever because he's holding that above your head? Pack your stuff, move out and inform his parents or friends of the threats that he's making.
Like you said, it feels like a prison and as long as you let him keep you there he will do. I don't think your BF will really appreciate the situation tbf, it must be very strange for him.
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