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If she wasn't interested why did she bother to text me?

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 29 September 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello,

Before I start I am a gay girl, 24 years old. So I went on a night out on Friday with a group of people, and got very drunk. We all ended hooking up with someone (everyone else is straight) and we went out until about 6am.

The girl I hooked up with, (only kissing and we got a bit touchy feely) was very full on with me. She asked me at one point if I wanted to go back to hers, and then at the end of the night (probably because of drink) I forgot to get her number and she didn't get mine.

I ended up getting her number after getting one of my mates to text their friend. Her friend gave me her number, however said I think she's seeing someone.. We exchanged a few texts on the way home, one of which said I wish you came back with me I could of done with the chat. The next day she then text me a few times, however when I text back and said I wish I came back to yours now, it was a good night etc, she has not replied in 4 days.

Do I text again? She has been online since and I don't want to see my keen, but I don't understand how someone can say they enjoyed the night, be all over me on the night out and then not even get a text back. If you weren't interested why text me in the first place.

I just want to know what to do and why she wouldn't text me back if she kept saying I was fit and was all over me.

Thanks

View related questions: drunk, kissing, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 September 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntJust because someone shows a lot of interest in you on a night out does not mean that they are interested in you. She probably just wrote back to be polite, or maybe she doesn't know what she wants. Either way if she hasn't bothered replying in four days I would just let her be.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (28 September 2017):

Dionee' agony auntFirstly, I think that this isn't something that meant a lot to her as it seems to mean to you.

Usually when someone has a good night with somebody else, you will talk about it and arrange for a 'next time' but it doesn't seem like she's keen. Either that or she just doesn't have the confidence that she had on that night, when she is sober.

Also, the fact that she has someone else should tell you that she's off limits because what good can possibly come from this?

I think it's just time to let it take it's title as a ONS and move on. That's all you can do as a favour to both of you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017):

Now, didn't you say a friend told you they think she's with someone? You do not want to get yourself in the middle of a relationship and knee-deep in gay-drama. You might get your head knocked-off!

If she calls back or texts you again; you tell her you heard she's in a relationship. You respect relationships, and wish her well.

Or, go ahead and get yourself tangled-up in a lesbian soap opera, and you'll regret it! Sometimes karma is a bitch!

Take a pass on this one. Blame it on the alcohol!

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (27 September 2017):

She has a partner and was drunk at the time. She didn't text you back because she sobered up and has a partner. Let her know that you'd like to hear from her if she ever becomes single.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (27 September 2017):

N91 agony auntSounds like she wanted to sleep with you for the night and nothing more. When she sobered up she realised she wasn't that into you and cut the contact.

She's not interested, forgot about her.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (27 September 2017):

Honeypie agony auntNope.

4 days of not replying, and the fact that they believe she has a partner?

Both are red flags.

If someone was VERY keen to get to know you... they wouldn't ignore you for 4 days.

If someone has a partner, then she is off limits.

Yep, let her go. She wasn't looking for a friendship or relationship, only a drunken fumble.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (27 September 2017):

She had a bit of sexy fun time with you. People do that. She may have actually been interested. She then remembered that she is in a relationship and decided her relationship is important to her. Forget her and find someone else.

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