A
male
age
36-40,
*oboaxe
writes:A few days ago I was on cloud nine. I had finally gone out with a great girl after a couple weeks of chatting on Facebook since we were both moving back to our hometown. We clicked really well while we were chatting, she was very responsive and flirty. We were childhood friends, but the friendship abruptly stopped when we ended up going to different elementary schools after preschool. I found her on Facebook one day after seeing she was a mutual friend of someone. So we're both finally out and things went really great. She stays well after dinner talking and then we make plans to see each other again sometime next week. After getting home she texts me saying her mom texted her asking if she got a picture and she said she didn't even think of it, and adds "next time!" and I say "next time for sure!"Fast forward a few days later and although she says she's down to go out, she says she can't lock a date down just yet due to her work. But the thing is that her responses have gotten much shorter and there are times on whatsapp where she goes online and just leaves my message unseen for hours (we text through whatsapp) Is she no longer interested? I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it,it's just that her response time went from immediate to a few hours. Thank you for reading and for any advice!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 October 2017):
 Ah well, time to block and delete... and move on.
A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (1 October 2017):
Roboaxe is verified as being by the original poster of the question Turns out she had a boyfriend she never mentioned. She just tweeted about him on Twitter. Oh well.
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A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (21 September 2017):
Don't ask her out anymore. From the looks of it, she lost interest. I learned the these patterns of disinterest after extensive online dating. I would so excited about a date or 2 going well and all a sudden the guy would pull back, either trying to get me to sleep w/him or he would lose interest. Do not get your hopes up on the 1st couple of dates.
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A
male
reader, Arivor +, writes (20 September 2017):
First clue: Both of you moved back to your old hometown. You know, how likely is it that she knew other boys there.
Second: As she grew older and developed crushes on one or more of those boys and omg there they are.
Third: Dreams come true and she finds out that one of her crushes has had a crush on her for the longest time.
Conclusion: Something or someone has her distracted... I wonder what or who it could possibly be.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 September 2017):
 It sounds like she is slowly backing away from you whatever her reasons might be. Take a back seat and see how she reacts.
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (20 September 2017):
Roboaxe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe doesn't have a full time job, so that's why her excuse is particularly bothersome and her lack of communication is as well.
I chatted with her last night and checked on her availability and she gave me another excuse about getting her glasses fixed, which makes no sense since they fix those during the day not at night.
I think you both are right, she's just letting me down slowly. I'll back off and let her (hopefully) initiate contact.
Thank you for the advice!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 September 2017):
I agree with N91, pull back a little.
Sometimes people can feel like constant contact is a bit overwhelming and they don't know what to say or they feel the actual conversation is either boring or they are afraid to sound boring or too eager.
Sounds like she IS busy with work, but she is also not totally sold on you. Which is why she gave that vague excuse of I can't lock down a date just now... Because she doesn't work 24 hours 7 days a week, correct?
So unless her work has a habit of changing her shifts or giving her extra work so she has to do overtime, she should be able to say I have XXXX day off next week or the week after maybe we can make plans.
So yes, pull back. Go out with friends and reacquaint yourself with the area.
Make her WORK for your attention. And if she doesn't... then you know she isn't into the idea of the two of you.
Having gone to the same preschool 30 years ago is not really a good basis for whether you have things in common or are a good match/fit.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (20 September 2017):
 Are the responses consistently slow? Or just during the day?
If they've slowed down full stop, personally I'd just drop the conversation altogether and give her chance to reach out and start the conversation back up. If she doesn't then you have your answer. If the replies are slow only during the day then she may be busy at work. The girl I'm seeing is very busy during the day so I may get 1-2 replies, but at night time then responses are pretty immediate.
It sounds to me like she's trying to let you down slowly. You might of think the date went great but she may not have been too into it.
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