| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
|
All my friends are going to a different school than me this year. Help!
Q. Well it's the last year for this school and I'm going to a different school but all my really close people I absolutely love are going to the school I'm there district and I'm leaving everyone... And the girl who hurt me badly will be attending my ...
A. 3 September 2010: If the age you put up is correct, you are entitled to decide for yourself which school you want to go to. That is, unless your mom is the one paying for it all. That gives her more power. But that doesn't mean you should let her decide. You can ... (read in full...)
What is her problem? I have never seen this side to her before!
Q. I got married recently and I really regret inviting an ex colleague of mine which I thought was a friend! Since I've been back from honeymoon all she has done is slag off my wedding, not only to me but to some mutual friends and god knows who e...
A. 2 September 2010: "What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt." ~Nine Inch Nails - Hurt That's jealousy rearing it's ugly head. Wh... (read in full...)
I think my older cousin might like me! Should I play along with her?
Q. I'm 15 years old male and my cousin is 21 years old female I've liked my cousin for well over about 2 years and ive kept it a secret. I always knew that she wouldn't like me back but recently over the last few months when i've been with her shes ac...
A. 2 September 2010: Well, being your cousin's age, I would never hook up with a 15 year old. I'm sure you're cute, but the age gap (at that age) is too big. She's prolly in college, you're in highschool. She is probably independent (apartment, car, etc.) you're not. ... (read in full...)
I think my older cousin might like me! Should I play along with her?
Q. I'm 15 years old male and my cousin is 21 years old female I've liked my cousin for well over about 2 years and ive kept it a secret. I always knew that she wouldn't like me back but recently over the last few months when i've been with her shes ac...
A. 2 September 2010: Well, being your cousin's age, I would never hook up with a 15 year old. I'm sure you're cute, but the age gap (at that age) is too big. She's prolly in college, you're in highschool. She is probably independent (apartment, car, etc.) you're not. ... (read in full...)
Torn between my current stable relationship, and the possibilities of what could happen with this other girl if we were both single.....
Q. Sooo this may seem like a really confusing question but i thank you in advance if you read this all and give advice Sooo me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 3 years now, we started dating in our senior year of high school and this ...
A. 2 September 2010: Now you cheated on your girlfriend there is no "guaranteed future" for you anymore. This relationship is over, you just haven't come to terms with that yet. If you loved your girlfriend, you wouldn't have cheated on her. Also, you don't seem t... (read in full...)
Torn between my current stable relationship, and the possibilities of what could happen with this other girl if we were both single.....
Q. Sooo this may seem like a really confusing question but i thank you in advance if you read this all and give advice Sooo me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 3 years now, we started dating in our senior year of high school and this ...
A. 2 September 2010: Now you cheated on your girlfriend there is no "guaranteed future" for you anymore. This relationship is over, you just haven't come to terms with that yet. If you loved your girlfriend, you wouldn't have cheated on her. Also, you don't seem t... (read in full...)
Why do they prefer her and not me?
Q. Hi! Im 15 years old and im with a little problem. My suposedly best friend is a girl with a big breast , brunnete and beautiful thats why every guys love her. The thing is that im a little bit tired of that , when i meet a guy and we are close to...
A. 2 September 2010: Don't ask why questions about things you cannot change. That would be me asking "why haven't I won the 14 million dollar lottery yet? It's not fair damnit!" See how useless that is? Look, life isn't fair. I know what you're going through as when ... (read in full...)
In love with friend's son!
Q. Hi, I'm a 38 year old female (but look much younger) who has been very happily married for 16 years with three beautiful children. We recently went to my home country over the summer and there met one of our family friends after a long time...
A. 2 September 2010: #5. Rule number 1 overrides all rules. Don't do it. End of story. Exercise a smidgen of self restraint and good judgement for the sake of yourself and your family. ... (read in full...)
In love with friend's son!
Q. Hi, I'm a 38 year old female (but look much younger) who has been very happily married for 16 years with three beautiful children. We recently went to my home country over the summer and there met one of our family friends after a long time...
A. 2 September 2010: You say you look much younger. Dear, no matter how much younger you feel or think you look, you are far from being a 19 year old. And don't let anyone tell you any differently because it will be a lie.
Some women your age can scrape off 5 years ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to join the marines. I don't want him to go.
Q. Hey, I really need some help my boyfriend wants to join the marines and i really dont want him to. We were gonna get married soon but i told him i dont wanna marry him before he goes cause i dont want to be newly weds and never get to see him. We ...
A. 1 September 2010: Let me tell you something. Once someone has made the decision to join the army, marines or air force, they usually can't be talked out of it. Not unless they aren't entirely sure of it and if your bf is prepared to put marriage and kids on hold to ... (read in full...)
I post sexy pictures of myself on Facebook! Is this bad even though it keeps me from having sex?
Q. hi so im a 15 yr old girl and i get really horny sometimes.i try to keep good for my parents but its like a naughtier me is clawing itself out.i was on facebook one day and some random chick with sexy photos sent me a friend request and i ignored ...
A. 1 September 2010: I'm going to be pretty harsh, so if you can't handle that, too bad.
Some questions for you:
- Did you know that they can use those photo´s and vids on sex sites? Sure, it's without your head on them, but still...many ads are made with just b... (read in full...)
I don't think I want to be cooped up with my parents on vacation for a week!
Q. i am 26 years old and decided to take my parents somewhere..a nice city..somewhere not too far but we still have to take a plane. I think my problem is the fact i feel more angry being with them knowing i don't have a b/f or even dating anyone an...
A. 1 September 2010: Let me get this straight: you're taking out your misery on your parents? Why in the world did you plan for this trip in the first place if all you plan to do is to be moody and sulky? If you really feel you need to act like someone with permanent ... (read in full...)
What can I do to toughen up or is it just that he needs to relax, or am I really that silly?
Q. Dear Cupid, Hi, I have been in a loving relationship for the past year and a half and we are very happy! My boyfriend has an incredibly stressful job, and is currently at a part of his life where he feels as though his life has become sta...
A. 1 September 2010: You sound like someone's who's afraid. And that's not a good state to be in when it comes to romantic relationships.
Your boyfriend sounds like someone who likes to think of himself as superior, even you. He gets angry when people don't think or... (read in full...)
Boyfriend choosing friends over me?
Q. soo i used to be bestfriends with my bf's friend but that frienship ended when that friend made fun of the fact that i was molested as a kid and told me to go kill myself when my dad died. he also made fun of the fact that i self mutilated my self. ...
A. 1 September 2010: What your bf's friend said to you was beyond nasty. Makes me wonder what the hell he was thinking. Stuff like this has been said to me as well, but by bullies, not by people who are supposed to be your friend.
Does your bf know about this? If... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of karen's influence without being the "you can't see her" guy...?
Q. Hey everyone, I recently met a wonderful woman about two months ago. We clicked from the very start finishing each others quotes, love the same music and movies, sports teams etc. etc. My family has met her and my mom is head over heels for her. I ...
A. 31 August 2010: Proves to show what kind of person she really is. Good riddance.
I would call her up and have the honour of the last word. "You're a coward. Breaking up with my by changing your status on facebook to single? Atleast have the decency to tell me ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and resentful of boyfriends other children
Q. I am pregnant with my boyfriends 4th child and I'm becoming increasingly resentful of his other children. It's gotten so bad that I can't even bear to hear him mention their names and I dread them staying over on weekends. He doesn't seem to show as ...
A. 31 August 2010: This is a recipe for disaster. I don't get why you got pregnant while you can't stand his other children. Why add one of your own to the mix? The truth is, his children will always be there and it is unfair to them to treat them as secondbest to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not trust me and is rushing me into sex with him!
Q. Hi, I am 15 and I have a boyfriend who is 16. We have been togther for 5 months and he means the world to me and he always tells me that he cant even imagine living without me. We are pretty close and comfortable with each other; we have the kind of ...
A. 31 August 2010: Hormones hormones, it never gets old. Guys at that age are brimming with it, so ofcourse he's trying to get you off your beliefs. While he may actually love you, don't be surprised if the love card is only being used to persuade you into having sex ... (read in full...)
What do guys think of girls with short hair?
Q. I really want my hair cut shorter and wanted to ask guys what they think of short hair on girls? I'm 17 and hang around with people who are into festivals and indie stuff but I'd like views from a wider group of guys (and girls I guesss) who aren't ...
A. 31 August 2010: All depends. Some girls rock short hairdo's. A friend of mine looks fantastic with it while another looks like a boy. So it really depends on your face and how you present yourself. I would look around for several cuts, maybe try out that software ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of karen's influence without being the "you can't see her" guy...?
Q. Hey everyone, I recently met a wonderful woman about two months ago. We clicked from the very start finishing each others quotes, love the same music and movies, sports teams etc. etc. My family has met her and my mom is head over heels for her. I ...
A. 31 August 2010: I'll get straight to the point: THIS CANNOT AND WILL NOT WORK OUT! I know, this is not what you want to hear and if you want to ignore what I have to say, feel free to do so. However, if you were serious about wanting advice, continue reading.
... (read in full...)
We are both 14, had a miscarriage. Should we try again to have a baby?
Q. Me and my girlfriend are both 14 and are madly in love. weve been together for about a year now and had protected sex a few months ago. she ended up having a miscarriage and that made us both completely sad. :( We love eachother alot and wanna have ...
A. 29 August 2010: It's great you two care so much for eachother and want to have a family. The thing is, at your age you lack so many things that could make this work: - you live under your parents' roof. You have no place of your own and don't have the money t... (read in full...)
My girlfriend didn't seem too thrilled to hear from me after her vacation--WHY?
Q. Hi, I'm just really confused right now. And I really miss my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I are both 20 years old, and we were doing very well before she left for a week long vacation. We've been spending nights together, sharing a lot of ...
A. 27 August 2010: I think you're blowing this out of proportion.
The explanation could be dead simple: she's had a long day from travelling, is deadbeat and just wants to sleep it off. The next day is usually the day of unpacking, etc. This is tedious and tiring a... (read in full...)
It hurts to feel I'm good enough for sex and nothing else
Q. I've been friends with a guy since school but we lost contact. We recently got back in contact over a year ago, decided to meet up and it was really nice. After that we started talking quite frequently, we met up again one evening for a drink and ...
A. 27 August 2010: Just some things I thought of after reading your post again:
-Did you two ever establish the relationship?
-Did you ever tell him how he made you feel? Because lots of men go for the friends with benefits situation and it's not always clear on... (read in full...)
It hurts to feel I'm good enough for sex and nothing else
Q. I've been friends with a guy since school but we lost contact. We recently got back in contact over a year ago, decided to meet up and it was really nice. After that we started talking quite frequently, we met up again one evening for a drink and ...
A. 27 August 2010: I would delete him from MSN, facebook and every other networking site you're on. Block his number or get a new one. Just cimply cut him out of your life.
Yuck, behaviour like his makes me angry. Tell you what, if you want to get back at him, nex... (read in full...)
It hurts to feel I'm good enough for sex and nothing else
Q. I've been friends with a guy since school but we lost contact. We recently got back in contact over a year ago, decided to meet up and it was really nice. After that we started talking quite frequently, we met up again one evening for a drink and ...
A. 26 August 2010: Honey, you said it yourself: he likes you as a fuck buddy but nothing more than that. You have to accept that this slimy bastard set you up and left you hanging. Now don't you dare lose any self worth, because that would be giving into his little ... (read in full...)
Why did they start laughing when I walked in?
Q. hey i had a question and i hope you guys can help me out the question is if your bf and your mother are having a coversation about you buts it bad but when yu appear all they do is look and laugh what does that tell you ...
A. 26 August 2010: Oh, I know this one. It is the dreaded thing parents do when they have your bf on his own. They start telling embarrassing anecdotes about you. When you were wearing bright orange glasses, your horrible hairdo, that aweful nickname or that instance ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and have wanted a baby since I was 11!
Q. hey i am 14 and my name is sherry i have allways wanted a baby sence i was 11 and i really want one i have got a boyfriend and everything but i really dont know what to do ...
A. 26 August 2010: Babies are cute, aren't they? Smiling eyes, sweet laugh, innocent and cuddly... What you don't realize is that they don't sleep at the times you want them to, cry when you want them to be quiet and you'll have to change diapers, feed them, look ... (read in full...)
HELP I want to sleep with my dads best friend
Q. hi i am in a bit of a pickle my dad is 42 and his best fried is 38 i was introduced to him when i was 12 but now i am 18 i am a adult and my feelings to him have got stronger he is single. i think he likes me too he comes over to our house ...
A. 26 August 2010: This is a really BAD idea. Not to mention selfish.
Look, I get you. I like older guys too and at his age, he might look very good. But it's just wrong to do this.
And you know it too. So why be selfish and let this happen while you know FULL WE... (read in full...)
Chest hair removal... how do you deal with the itching?
Q. Hi all, I just need a bit of advice. My new partner doesnt like my hairy chest (just the chest!!). So I used some hair clippers and trimmed it all to practically zero...bare chest for the 1st time since puberty. I quiet like it..s...
A. 24 August 2010: That's normal, not old fashioned. Well, that's what I think, anyway.
Okay, I am a woman so I don't know about chest hair, but I wax my own legs with Veet. It's expensive, but works like a charm. You just need some patience because shaving ... (read in full...)
In love with much older man over the internet! Will people laugh?
Q. hi everyone i am in love with a man over the internet he is so funny sweet and kind he has done alot of work on polling for elections and ive seen him on a tape why he should be elected meaning he isnt a creep he has a good backround etc but my only ...
A. 24 August 2010: I second Oldersister's point.
At your age, being told you're "wise beyond your years" and more of that BS by an older man is just manipulation on their part. Watch out for that, because it simply isn't true, I don't care who you are. It's the... (read in full...)
Chest hair removal... how do you deal with the itching?
Q. Hi all, I just need a bit of advice. My new partner doesnt like my hairy chest (just the chest!!). So I used some hair clippers and trimmed it all to practically zero...bare chest for the 1st time since puberty. I quiet like it..s...
A. 24 August 2010: I second the waxing recommendation. I used to shave and I just hated it. Then I took the plunge and started waxing. The first time hurts pretty bad. But it gets better over time, not to mention the hairs are gone for +/- 4 weeks! ... (read in full...)
In love with much older man over the internet! Will people laugh?
Q. hi everyone i am in love with a man over the internet he is so funny sweet and kind he has done alot of work on polling for elections and ive seen him on a tape why he should be elected meaning he isnt a creep he has a good backround etc but my only ...
A. 24 August 2010: Well, I will tell you this:
I am your age and I tend to fall for older men as well. (but I'm more in the 30-40 vicinity). The big problem with this is that age is something that cannot be bridged. My mom is this man's age and to be honest, ... (read in full...)
In love with much older man over the internet! Will people laugh?
Q. hi everyone i am in love with a man over the internet he is so funny sweet and kind he has done alot of work on polling for elections and ive seen him on a tape why he should be elected meaning he isnt a creep he has a good backround etc but my only ...
A. 24 August 2010: Well, I will tell you this:
I am your age and I tend to fall for older men as well. (but I'm more in the 30-40 vicinity). The big problem with this is that age is something that cannot be bridged. My mom is this man's age and to be honest, ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to start talking Marriage??
Q. Hey everyone i have a dilemma when i was in the 5th grade i met my first love we broke up in sixth grade and started back talking in high school about 3years ago but he was very conceited and stuck up now we are both 20 and now he have a daughter ...
A. 24 August 2010: Some questions for you, as you were not entirely clear in your post:
- Is his child also your child? Or is a child from a previous girlfriend? If the latter, how do you feel about that?
- You say you are ready for marriage, yet you ask here and... (read in full...)
Am I weird at 22 to not want to go to nightclubs every night?
Q. Am I a weirdo/loser if I don't like going to nightclubs every week? I'm 22, going into my final year at uni. I went out last night for someones birthday and my friend had to go back because he was ill so i was the only guy left. I heard what mus...
A. 24 August 2010: "Normal" is a word that has always intrigued me. What defines normal? Who decides what is normal, anyway? In your case apparently the popular people. But what is considered normal for one isn't for the other. Also, just because something is ... (read in full...)
Seeing 2 guys and want to tell one of them I just want to be friends, how do I do this?
Q. I'am in such a stuck situation please help. Ive been single now for a while and ive been seeing these two guys. They both really attracted to me both are really sweet and seem like the really know how to treat a girl. The problem is out of the two ...
A. 24 August 2010: I have learned there is no painless way to do this.
So, like ripping off a bandaid, be quick about it.
Don't continue leading on the other guy because you don't want to hurt his feelings. His feelings will be plenty hurt if you keep going l... (read in full...)
After my husband cheated and I moved out I slept with another man, it feels so good to get revenge for what my husband did to me! Was I wrong to do this?
Q. After i realised that its not working out, we both agreed that i should move out and get a place of my own, i moved out and i was still angry at him for cheating and all the bad treatment i got from my mother in law.i have been staying alone for ...
A. 24 August 2010: Who are we to decide what is right or wrong?
That said, you have to think about what you've done. You felt hurt and betrayed when he cheated on you and now you've done the exact same thing that to him that hurt you. Now what does that say abou... (read in full...)
I'm upset how my friend disciplined her children, wondering if I should call children's services?
Q. It’s a bit of a strange one this but the yesterday my friend walloped her two children right in front of me, now I’m wondering whether to call children’s’ services. She’s got two girls, one 11 and other 13. She’s a single mom and each can be a bit...
A. 24 August 2010: Tough one.
I might not be the best person to advise you on this either, so please also wait for other answerers. The reason I want to reply is because I am familiar with this kind of behavior and want to offer some perspective.
I'm 22 now bu... (read in full...)
Having trouble getting into the dating scene!
Q. I put forward a question here awile back and received excellent suggestions/opinions/advice. I thought I'd do it again. I'm a 55-year old male. For whatever reason, I've inherited the "youthful gene". No complaints about that. When people gues...
A. 23 August 2010: Being a 22 year old female, I would feel strange going out with someone who is the exact same age as my father.
That said, my dad isn't as active as you (he would fall down exhausted from just thinking about it) and I have noticed that the non ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact about my boyfriend's drinking?
Q. I'm very staunchly against drinking and doing drugs. To make a long story short, I am the only sober person in my family. I'm proud of that. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I hate how people change when they get drunk. I hate how people make ...
A. 23 August 2010: To get to the point: yes, I think you are overreacting. Though I certainly understand your POV, alcohol has saturated our society. Not everyone who drinks is doomed to be an alcoholic, either. Making alcohol the forbidden fruit is guaranteed to fa... (read in full...)
Am I a bad friend for getting this type of attention?
Q. The majority of my girl friends have boyfriends, when we get together and go out or go on a trip as one big group we have a good time. Lately 2 of my friends and myself have noticed that some of the boyfriends (not all at once/sametime) but alwa...
A. 23 August 2010: The only way to handle it is to not acknowledge it. Don't react to their compliments other than a curt thank you and ignore the bumps. Once you're giving that "off limits" vibe, they should back off.
If they don't back off and the behavior... (read in full...)
Younger woman messing with my head!
Q. Ok here is the deal. I am older than this lady, yet I don't feel that way at all on the inside (and people tell me that I look younger than I am, and when I work out alot, I can easily pass for someone in their 20s). Ok, well, we have been friends, ...
A. 23 August 2010: OP, not trying to bring you down or anything but you AREN'T acting your age. Your posts are evidence of that.
You say you feel younger, you fall for a younger woman probably because of that and you believe it when people tell you that you coul... (read in full...)
Younger woman messing with my head!
Q. Ok here is the deal. I am older than this lady, yet I don't feel that way at all on the inside (and people tell me that I look younger than I am, and when I work out alot, I can easily pass for someone in their 20s). Ok, well, we have been friends, ...
A. 22 August 2010: Thanks for the follow up!
As for suggestions, this might be a bit of a deadpan, but next time don't use Facebook to tell someone how attracted you are to them. PM them, tell them when you meet them but don't post it for everyone to see.
... (read in full...)
Younger woman messing with my head!
Q. Ok here is the deal. I am older than this lady, yet I don't feel that way at all on the inside (and people tell me that I look younger than I am, and when I work out alot, I can easily pass for someone in their 20s). Ok, well, we have been friends, ...
A. 22 August 2010: Other posters have given excellent insight about the girl. I want to go on a bit about this age thing that you have in your mind:
OP, the thing is that when people tell you you could pass for 20-something, they're just being nice. Not honest. ... (read in full...)
| *averick494's friends
These are mutual friends, so *averick494 has
added them and they have added *averick494!
|
