| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
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My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 31 December 2010: I just want to add that it also depends on how she views the world. My own mother feels that drug addicts and those with mental disorders like bipolar thrive on society´s understanding and that they should be dealt with harshly.
If your mom has ... (read in full...)
Should I tell dad that his new fiancee is the same girl I had sex with at a drunken frat party?
Q. i met this really hot girl at a frat party and we got drunk and had sex. she was a year older and graduated a few months later so nothing after that happened. my parents got divorced a year later and when my dad started dating he got engaged with ...
A. 29 December 2010: Noone bothered to ask the important question: how long have they been together and how long have you known? It just seems strange to me that you would wait for them to get engaged to drop the bomb.
Normally I would say leave it, but this could tu... (read in full...)
My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 28 December 2010: She will accept him in her own time, not yours. She does not owe him anything and he's not precious to her in the way that you are. In other words, he doesn't mean anything to her and the only reason he's still in her life is you. She loves you, ... (read in full...)
My aunt's father in law made inappropriate comments and now I feel really uneasy around him!
Q. I have a bit of a problem. Over the holidays me and my relatives went to visit my aunt's in-laws and their family, who I used to feel comfortable around. They're usually nice and welcoming people, so I had no reason not to like them. But, on t...
A. 28 December 2010: Though I believe you are indeed not imagining things, your own issues with men and sexuality seem to magnify everything.
You are disgusted when men show interest in you 'in that way' while many women would not be. I think that's the reason w... (read in full...)
I've managed to find nobody.
Q. OK, I'm really, really struggling now, and I don't know who I can turn to. Basically I just want honest answers, which my friends and family in real life don't seem to wish to give. Anyway, I'm almost 29. I will be 30 in a little over a ye...
A. 27 December 2010: Hey there,
Do not feel down. 99% of these dating sites are not for real. They just want to suck money out of you. There are online rating systems for these things and most of the dating sites have been described as scams. So please do not hold any... (read in full...)
I was in love with a terminal cancer patient and she passed away...
Q. I need help with laying old ghosts to rest. I'm 17 years old, a senior in high school and for 4 months, I was engaged to 15 year old girl who had terminal Leukemia and CIPA (she couldn't feel any pain or sensation in her entire body 8 months ago, my ...
A. 22 December 2010: You should not hate yourself! Instead, you should be proud of yourself for taking the risk of loving someone who is dying. Not many would. Even those who seem to have a rock-solid relationship and are suddenly faced with tragedy often don´t hold on. ... (read in full...)
Should I let my parents stop me from attending school?
Q. I need advice!! Ok sooooo I'm 19 and I work part time. and I want to start school asap. Why? Because it took me an extra year to get my diploma. And I have no reason not to be in school. No kids, I have my diploma, a nice job ect. Sooo my boo want...
A. 21 December 2010: Woah woah, now what exactly is the problem here?
From what I'm reading your parents aren't stopping you from getting an education. You are.
- Your dad won't let you take the car because you don't have a license. Well, I'd agree with him on that... (read in full...)
Is it healthy/normal for a man to have so many female friends?
Q. Is it weird for a guy to have a lot of friends that are girls, and whose closest friends are girls? Is there ever a time when this is perfectly healthy and NOT a red flag?? The last two guys I've dated have had mostly female friends. At the...
A. 21 December 2010: @37 y/o Anonymous: good it worked out for you, but for me it's rare. That said, I think it's different when you have friends who are married/in a relationship. In this case, I think it's possible to have female friends because they already have a ... (read in full...)
..Should I just forget about my superstar love??
Q. Hey, I'm just another average girl, with just another average life. But my problem is that I'm unconditionally and completely in love with this guy, which is kinda normal. But what's not normal is that now he's a super star and if I named him ...
A. 20 December 2010: I agree with dirtball. Celebrities have a hard time trusting people after they get famous, because many of them are after money or have some other ulterior motive. Many of them say that their family and friends from 'before' keep them grounded. ... (read in full...)
My comatose husband may never wake up. Should I try and raise his baby alone or abort it?
Q. Hi, everybody i'm new here so here goes... about 2 months ago my husband and i got in a near fatal car accident. i am ok, just came out with a broken arm, but my husband suffered a serious concussion and he has been in a coma ever since. i'm so ...
A. 20 December 2010: Phew, what a situation! First of all I hope that your husband will come out of this okay!
About the baby...Everyone is different ofcourse. As terrible as it sounds, if he doesn't wake up your baby would be all that's left of him and it's a scary ... (read in full...)
Is it healthy/normal for a man to have so many female friends?
Q. Is it weird for a guy to have a lot of friends that are girls, and whose closest friends are girls? Is there ever a time when this is perfectly healthy and NOT a red flag?? The last two guys I've dated have had mostly female friends. At the...
A. 20 December 2010: To be honest with you I don't believe in this. Sometimes it happens that someone has a brother-sister relationship with someone and they don't have any romantic feelings towards eachother. Some aunties here will testify to that.
BUT I myself h... (read in full...)
Just found out my ex is pregnant with my baby but I have moved on!
Q. hi there I was with this girl for 6 years and just saw her weekends told her it was over cos i said i fell out of love with her really i just found someone new, well my ex is pregnant and its mine but i now want to live with this new girl i met a...
A. 20 December 2010: Guys like you are what most girls look upon as douchebags.
Sorry to say it, but leaving your ex to deal with the consequences of what you BOTH did is pretty immature.
Sure, life doesn't always work out the way you want it. And this is not what ... (read in full...)
I kissed a girl on my course, both in relationships, do I approach the subject?
Q. It was our christmas party at University last night and we all out for drinks afterwards. I ended up spending most of the night hanging out with a girl I get on with on the course. We where both drunk and things where a bit flirtatious between us ...
A. 20 December 2010: (Oops, typo: I meant "your" mind, not "her".) ... (read in full...)
I kissed a girl on my course, both in relationships, do I approach the subject?
Q. It was our christmas party at University last night and we all out for drinks afterwards. I ended up spending most of the night hanging out with a girl I get on with on the course. We where both drunk and things where a bit flirtatious between us ...
A. 20 December 2010: I would sort it out beforehand. You both seem to realize the mistake you've made. No need to get awkward around eachother; it will only make it more obvious something happened between you two.
As for your gf, you need to make up her mind whether ... (read in full...)
I'm ruining everything and I feel powerless to stop what I'm doing. Help please.
Q. hi, I am so confused and don't know what to do. I've fallen in love with this guy and sometimes i feel like I shouldn't talk to him. That I might do too much, I may annoy him or disturb him. I think he may think the same way. The problem now is that ...
A. 18 December 2010: Ofcourse it can be fixed!
First you need to gain a bit of self esteem and self respect. You seem to regard him like some kind of deity compared to yourself. Stop that. You are no less than him and I don´t see any signs in your post he wants yo... (read in full...)
Can my wife actually lose the weight?
Q. What is a person supposed to do when they are no longer attracted to there spouse? My wife and I have been together now for 13 years, 8 of which we have been married. She is awesome in many aspects which is why I love her so much. She has ...
A. 18 December 2010: I just wanted to say that the anonymous woman who commented here makes a really good point.
My mom was a really beautiful woman when she was in her mid twenties. Tall, slim, etc. Then she got Multiple Sclerosis before I was born (she was 28) and ... (read in full...)
Am I able to pull it off as my boyfriend's baby?
Q. Hi I'm in a tough situation,I think I might be pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby. My current boyfriend and I have been trying for a year for a baby and haven't had any luck. He cheated on me 3 times a while back and out of anger I went and cheated ...
A. 17 December 2010: I missed your follow up (it takes some time for answers to get posted around here) so that's why my answer is off. Still, I stand by what I said.
Some questions for you:
1. If your ex is so immature, why did you go to have unportected ... (read in full...)
Am I able to pull it off as my boyfriend's baby?
Q. Hi I'm in a tough situation,I think I might be pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby. My current boyfriend and I have been trying for a year for a baby and haven't had any luck. He cheated on me 3 times a while back and out of anger I went and cheated ...
A. 17 December 2010: Let me get this straight: your current bf cheated on you 3 TIMES and you went and got revenge by getting busy with your ex and now you might be pregnant? I'm sorry but I'm not really seeing the love in this relationship. This seems very toxic and ... (read in full...)
I feel so strongly about him...
Q. I met this boy and the moment I saw him I was totally head over heals!! I'm NOT kidding. I knew he was a great catch, I just instantly feel something. I slipped my phone number is his jacket when it was hanging up, and eventually we got to ...
A. 17 December 2010: God, I wish that everytime I fell hard for someone they shared the same feelings. It would´ve have made my life much easier and more enjoyable. Honestly, isn´t that what everyone wants? However, unanswered love happens to everyone once in a while.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend blames me for her insecurity issues!
Q. Hey, Dearcupid. My girlfriend gets really self conscious sometimes and it seems to be an all-consuming thing. She loses touch of reality and becomes obsessed with how she looks. Despite her being only 5'1, and 43kg's she thinks she is fat and "...
A. 14 December 2010: First off, she's lucky to have you! Not many would stick around when she's being so difficult.
She has an eating disorder. Take it from someone who´s had it. Ofcourse this stems from severe insecurity and it takes a long while before someone ... (read in full...)
No love for a 22 year old virgin
Q. Well, basically I'm 22 turning 23 in February and I'm still a virgin and some times it makes me sick to my stomach to think about it, to make it worse my reserve unit is leaving for the middle east soon, so that pretty much means I can count not ...
A. 14 December 2010: Thanks for the follow up, OP.
You know, there are more virgins of your age out there, a lot more. And surprise surprise, most of them aren't ugly either.
Just because you keep hearing of hormonal teenagers humping eachother like a bunch of ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking about leaving my husband if he doesn't stop looking at porn
Q. I have been married for 5 years now and my husband and I are both young only in our 20's and have 3 little girls I found his porn 6months into our marriage and we have had problems every since he says he's gonna quit and never does and now just gets ...
A. 13 December 2010: Try to figure out what the real issue is, here.
Because if your relationship was all sunshine before you found out about him watching porn, and afterwards it's bad enough to make you want to leave him, then it's not really the porn destroyi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend say he's fat and now doesn't participate during sex
Q. ok so my bofriend and i have been having some sexual issues. He has recently put on some weight and feels fat. He used to try and start on me by turning me on first but now he wont have sex with me unless i start wich is very annoying becuse ...
A. 13 December 2010: Tell him that if he feels fat that he should either do something about it or accept how he has become. Tell him you will support him whichever way he chooses but that it is not fair of him to be miserable when he doesn't plan on doing something ... (read in full...)
Should I lighten my skin?
Q. I dont like my skin colour. I'm not too dark but i'm not too bright either. How do I lighten my skin? And the real question is.....SHOULD I? Is it a bad thing if I want to?...
A. 13 December 2010: If you read my post I was actually pointing out that's it not just people who want to go from black to Michael Jackson.
So again, I would not do it. There are side effects from those products and treatments like getting an uneven skintone... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and have a crush on a 30 year old married man
Q. I don't even know where to start on this question, I guess i'll just get straight to the point, I have a major 'crush' on a married man, i'm 16 and he's in his mid 30's.. he lives near me so my parents are quite good friends with him and his wife ...
A. 13 December 2010: Great that you realize that you two cannot and should not get together. Really, that's the first step to getting over him.
Some things that can help:
- Try to tell yourself that you would not like for you two to get together because that would m... (read in full...)
Is my fiancee cheating with his co-worker?
Q. Well,I just got engaged and my fiancee has been acting strange. I usually pick him up from work and everyday all he talks about is his female co-worker. He apparently talks to her about everything, even the problems in our relationship. Apparently, ...
A. 13 December 2010: He fights whenever you bring up your genuine concerns. This is classic behaviour for cheaters. They try to turn the tables to make you the bad guy who started the fight while in reality they're the ones who have to explain themselves.
If you can'... (read in full...)
My entire family say I am a bad mother even though I am trying my best! How do I deal with this until I can afford to move out?
Q. Okay so I have a huge problem that effects me everyday. Ill start out with the background information. It all started about two years ago when I got pregnant at age 18. My sister was 16 at the time. Anyways, I lived at home then and still do. The ...
A. 13 December 2010: Did your family always act negatively towards you? Are they very religious? I'm just trying to figure out why those that should support and love you use every opportunity to bring you down. But regardless of the reasons behind this behaviour, you ... (read in full...)
Help! I don't know how to tell him that the pain is kicking the pleasure's butt during sex.
Q. Lost my virginity five months ago to this difficult man and five months later, it's a little like love. Anyway, it used to be that I'd get extremely wet when he just touched me or looked at me. I still get turned on but my body's reaction isn't ...
A. 13 December 2010: Since you've lost your virginity recently it can take a while to 'loosen up' in there. Also, if you're nervous during sex, your muscles in your vagina will tense up, making sex painful and unpleasant. So you have to be really relaxed to get an ... (read in full...)
Dumped by an email!
Q. I was recently dumped by email this afternoon. We had only been dating 3 months, but I personally think it is cowardly after even one date. At the time I read the email, I wrote a response that was too polite, and did not express how I actually f...
A. 13 December 2010: Hmm, though CindyCares makes a really good point (and it would probably be more mature to follow her advice) I can understand why you'd want to send him a message telling him how you really feel. Just because he knows dumping people through e-mail ... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat with women who are not as attractive / accomplished / affectionate as their partners?
Q. Why do (guy) cheaters cheat with women who are usually not as attractive, as accomplished or usually not as affectionate? ...
A. 13 December 2010: Oops sorry guys. I had two questions open in my browser and answered the wrong one! So you can ignore my reply, OP. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was robbed and says that if I love him I should go cash in my bonds and give it to him
Q. My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because ...
A. 13 December 2010: On the one hand I commend you for having so much trust in him. On the other I hope you're not being conned here. If you ever catch that little voice in the back of your head saying that something's not right, listen to it. Your gut tends to be spot ... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat with women who are not as attractive / accomplished / affectionate as their partners?
Q. Why do (guy) cheaters cheat with women who are usually not as attractive, as accomplished or usually not as affectionate? ...
A. 13 December 2010: On the one hand I commend you for having so much trust in him. On the other I hope you're not being conned here. If you ever catch that little voice in the back of your head saying that something's not right, listen to it. Your gut tends to be spot ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was robbed and says that if I love him I should go cash in my bonds and give it to him
Q. My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because ...
A. 12 December 2010: Pardon me for playing the devil's advocate, but could the fact he was "messed up" about it have more to do with the money being gone than the robbery itself? Sometimes people do stupid things, like gambling and losing loads of money overnight. I ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was robbed and says that if I love him I should go cash in my bonds and give it to him
Q. My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because ...
A. 12 December 2010: He sounds like a leecher to me. I had someone in my life like that once. Used to be my best friend. Note how I say "used to be". T
He cannot in his right mind think that just because he was stupid enough to keep a load of cash in his wallet a... (read in full...)
Should I lighten my skin?
Q. I dont like my skin colour. I'm not too dark but i'm not too bright either. How do I lighten my skin? And the real question is.....SHOULD I? Is it a bad thing if I want to?...
A. 12 December 2010: I was once on this skincare forum trying to find something that would reduce the blemishes my poor sister is ´blessed´ with. A big section of this forum was dedicated to skin lightening treatments. People would come there and talk about how they ... (read in full...)
How is this possible?
Q. my friend is hiv positive and pregnant but her husband is hiv negative how is it possible?...
A. 12 December 2010: She cheated with another guy and got HIV from him. Great friend you've got there....... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 12 December 2010: @lostinaworldofidiocy2: Not trying to gang up against you, but something you said caught my eye:
"The funny thing is that if this were an earlier era, it would not be weird. Girls as young as 13 could be married off to their teachers and a lot of... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 12 December 2010: Good stuff guys.
I know this may seem like beating a dead horse, but because I see the "I'm mature for my age" thing thrown around as often as I zap TV channels during a boring evening, I am going to say it again:
There is no such thing as be... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 11 December 2010: Good article. Though I have to say that I wish teachers were always as professional as you make them out to be.
For example, my now ex teacher (who quit his job a month ago) is trying to get me to sleep with him. He previously sent other girls wh... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 11 December 2010: Good article. Though I have to say that I wish teachers were always as professional as you make them out to be.
For example, my now ex teacher (who quit his job a month ago) is trying to get me to sleep with him. He previously sent other girls wh... (read in full...)
About to get married in 4 months, but I feel nothing!
Q. I'm very confused at this point. I am 22 and about to marry my boyfriend of 4 years in 4 months, and I feel nothing. I'm not overly excited and even though I love him with all my heart and feel he's my soul mate, I feel like we've lost our spark. I ...
A. 8 December 2010: Thank you for the follow up, OP!
I can understand how overpowering family members can be. I have a couple of those in my family as well. I guess I just hope your wedding doesn´t turn out too bad.
As for World of Warcraft, I am an RPG nut (nope... (read in full...)
She wants to write off everything we ever had......
Q. I met this girl online 8 years ago, we have been friends since then up until now. 2 Years ago we started talking a lot more personally and soon fell into a mutual love. During the last two years me and her have shaped eachother's lives. I do not ...
A. 8 December 2010: This is the reason why I think online relationships don't pan out. When your connection to someone is through bits an bytes, then basically you're grasping air. Meeting that online representation in real life is always different from what you had in ... (read in full...)
About to get married in 4 months, but I feel nothing!
Q. I'm very confused at this point. I am 22 and about to marry my boyfriend of 4 years in 4 months, and I feel nothing. I'm not overly excited and even though I love him with all my heart and feel he's my soul mate, I feel like we've lost our spark. I ...
A. 8 December 2010: I think you should just talk to him. You've given enough hints already and they're not working. Also it sounds like you've pretty much become his servant, always trying to please him.
Call it a cliché, but a lot of men like the exciteme... (read in full...)
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