| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
|
I don't know what I want to do with my life!
Q. I've been always trying to avoid to answer when someone asks me about my dream and what I wanna be because I've never been able to tell. I don't know what I want and what I wanna be. I'm 21 now with no goals. I'm not sure of my life. I'm studying ...
A. 16 August 2011: Hello dear,
I've had the 'now what' phase as well, ironically exactly at your age. I'm 23 now and I am finally getting things on track, but I still wonder if it'll all work out. What helped me get into the right direction is talking to the prof... (read in full...)
Should I get a sex partner for my fiancee?
Q. My bf is no longer attracted to me since weve had children. I gained 70 lbs with the first but nothing with the second. They are 15 months apart and our second was born 3 months ago. I have horrible stretchmarks. Worse than anyone ive ever seen. I ...
A. 15 August 2011: God girl, do you consider yourself so unworthy you allow your man to have sex with someone else? If he loves you he'd be horrified to hear this. Don't be so hard on yourself! You've had two kids, it takes a while to bounce back from that. You're ... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat? why be unfaithful? what's the payoff to be the "other woman"?
Q. I have a question for all the unfaithful and the homewreckers. Why did you cheat!?!? Or help someone cheat!?!? I see so many questions about cheating..and they're the cheaters!! Doesn't anyone know cheating is wrong? And the only acceptab...
A. 15 August 2011: I know I shouldn't reply twice to the same question without a follow-up in between, but I just wanted to thank the anonymous female who was brave enough to post her story. Thank you. I hope your life will stop serving as a warning to others. ... (read in full...)
Is there a time limit for how long I can keep a sugar Daddy interested?
Q. I turned 29 a fortnight ago. I will be 30 next year at this time. Throughout my 20s I have had several sugar daddies, older men who supported me financially whilst I was pursuing my musical aspirations. They've been good chaps over all, tho of cour...
A. 15 August 2011: There's a time for play and a time to grow up. The time for play has passed. Get out of this now before your pheromones dry up and you start feeling bitter about lost time and getting older. I won't judge you for your choices. I can understand ... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat? why be unfaithful? what's the payoff to be the "other woman"?
Q. I have a question for all the unfaithful and the homewreckers. Why did you cheat!?!? Or help someone cheat!?!? I see so many questions about cheating..and they're the cheaters!! Doesn't anyone know cheating is wrong? And the only acceptab...
A. 14 August 2011: OP, I'm happy to see such firmly established values at your age. I hope they will remain intact as you mature. It's refreshing to see after witnessing loads of teens throw themselves on the sex and fun bandwagon, unable to resist their hormones and ... (read in full...)
I missed a payment, I'm in tears I'm so worried.
Q. im very worried as im in an iva which ive been paying 3 years and in july missed a payment because my sisters had extreme cancer and her work stopped her pay so i helped her out. i didnt know what else to do but now the iva place has emailed me ...
A. 13 August 2011: Just tell them the truth. Not everyone is heartless and cynical, you know. Besides, since you're going to compensate for the gap there really is no problem. Just tell them the truth, you'll be fine. Great that you were there for your sister when it ... (read in full...)
My crush is engaged to a cheater
Q. Hi, I had a crush on a girl in my office but when I wanted to approach her and consider getting into a relation with her, I got to know she had a boyfriend and they were getting engaged soon. So I put myself out and changed my company too. Out...
A. 13 August 2011: It's up to you. If you tell her (your crush) just realize that she might not believe you. Also, since she works at the same company you do, you might want to think about the consequences it may have in that regard. It's not your mess so you're under ... (read in full...)
It started well. All of a sudden he just wanted sex and nothing more. How do I get him more interested in me as his Gf?.
Q. hi people what is going on here im so confused and i really need your help i met a man at the beginning of the year called Z we dated for 9 weeks when we met then all of a sudden he just wanted sex and nothing more. he was with someone for years and ...
A. 13 August 2011: What to do? Well first off: hold off on sex!
From this POV it seems like he's just using you. His past experiences don't give him the right to just string you along. It seems he only put in the effort until you gave him what he wanted (=sex). ... (read in full...)
I have Xeroderma Pigmentosum, do I have the right to fall in love?
Q. i suffer from Xeroderma Pigmentosum or XP. Its an incurable disease that deals with UV rays. I can never go in the sun, and if i do i literally burn. My disease at most has a limit of twenty years, which means in most cases a person who has XP lives ...
A. 13 August 2011: That's not silly at all, OP. Reading it actually makes me feel bad about taking life for granted because some of the most risky things for you are things I can do no problem, yet I never stopped to realize that till now. I hope you can reach all the ... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 11 August 2011: Thanks for clarifying, OP. I can understand your vantage point now and that gives me more to work with.
To be honest, I think he's fine with the way you are. Now, I don't know what porn he's watching but a lot of porn is has women with big boob... (read in full...)
I have Xeroderma Pigmentosum, do I have the right to fall in love?
Q. i suffer from Xeroderma Pigmentosum or XP. Its an incurable disease that deals with UV rays. I can never go in the sun, and if i do i literally burn. My disease at most has a limit of twenty years, which means in most cases a person who has XP lives ...
A. 8 August 2011: Thanks so much for the update OP! That's great! You deserve someone who treats you well and I'm thrilled that it's working out so well for you. I hope it keeps going the way you wish! ... (read in full...)
Fell for him at a spiritual retreat, he's married, how can we pursue this?
Q. Hi all, I met this guy last year during a spiritual trip, and I fell for him completly. I thought he was my soulmate but then found out he was married. He seems to be in a loveless relationship. I am so willing to pursue him, and also I think th...
A. 8 August 2011: I will spare you my opinion on women who willingly pursue married men. But I can't help but wonder what kind of spiritual trip would leave your moral compass intact the way it is now. But I digress.
Let me help clear your mind:
1. If he reciproca... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me to have any friends except him
Q. My bf and I had been fighting a lot. His main argument is that I have too many gay friends, and yes I do and I always have gay man friends in my life. I only go out occasionally to have drinks and talk, mainly about work since I work with them. ...
A. 8 August 2011: Well that would be simple. Leave him. Never let anyone force you to choose between them and someone else. Once they get that kind of control over you, you're done. Since you can't have a decent conversation about this without him turning it around ... (read in full...)
I want to bed my boyfriend's friend! What should I do?
Q. i love my boyfriend soooo much i have been with him for 6yrs. And he is the sweetest guy u will ever meet he does everything for i mean everything. But his friend is sooooo hotttttt i wanna have sex with him. what do i do?...
A. 8 August 2011: Grow up and realize you can't have it both ways. If you really love your boyfriend "soooo much" then you wouldn't be asking us this in the first place. So make a decision. Stay with "the sweetest guy you will ever meet who does everything for you" ... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 8 August 2011: OP, if you hate porn so much, find yourself a man that doesn't do it/is willing to give it up for you. Problem solved.
Truth is, opinions on porn use differ immensely (as this thread and many, many others can attest to) and if one rant of yours... (read in full...)
I'm 19. Could I still grow taller and get facial hair?
Q. I'm 19 years old and I have come to believe I'm a late bloomer. Both my brother and my dad were early bloomers. My brother hitting 6'1 by 14 and my dad already having thick arm hair at 12. Me? I just started growing navel hair like last year and my ...
A. 8 August 2011: Everyone develops at their own pace. You're 19, they say you're officially done developing at 25. That leaves quite some time. But again, it doesn't mean you'll change a lot. Just let the chips fall where they may and accept yourself as you are now. ... (read in full...)
Head over heels in love with married man and I know he won't leave his wife for me!
Q. Okay, I'm writing this because I'm miserable and at my whit's end of things. You've may have heard this a thousands times before, but Im simply head over heels in love with a married man and I have being for the passed year. And the worrying thing ...
A. 8 August 2011: I'm not here to judge, OP. Neither are the other aunties. I've been there, fell in love with a married man and was able to get over it. Though it wasn't easy.
Your man is playing with fire because he's allowing himself to get emotionally involved... (read in full...)
Sometimes my boyfriend gets really mean with my children. Should I listen to the voice in my head telling me to end things?
Q. Dear Aunts, I am a single mother of two loving boys, 12 and 5 years old. I am currently in nursing college. I have a boyfriend and we've been together for five years. We met 6 months after I got my second child. My children adore and loves hi...
A. 7 August 2011: After reading your follow up I see there's definitely something wrong with his behavior towards your children. He's hurting them, but being sneaky about it. That's a red flag, a big one. That said, you told us your kids "adore him" so if they do he ... (read in full...)
I made it clear to him that a threesome will not happen...and he got angry! Advice?
Q. OMG, I can't belive what has just happened, here's the deal... Me and my bf have had a few drinks, but we're not drunk. He made a joke in town about taking this girl home with us. We have a lot of dirty sex and we talk about other people in our sexu...
A. 7 August 2011: It seems clear to me. You drew the line at your boundaries and he simply has to respect them if he wants to keep you. Simple. If that makes you boring he needs to learn a thing or two about how this world works. There aren't many women who'd happily ... (read in full...)
My wife left me whilst I was away in Iraq and all she left was a note saying 'I'm sorry'!
Q. I just returned from Iraq on leave today to find my apartment empty. My wife took my son, my dog, and emptied my bank account...The one thing she left was a note on her side of the bed with her wedding ring was a note that simply said "I'm sorry". ...
A. 5 August 2011: Oh my, this is a very low, disgusting thing to do and my heart goes out to you. The first thing I thought when I read your post was: "is this even legal?" She took your son, your dog, your money. Sounds to me that you could report her to th... (read in full...)
Which is considered more attractive - quiet or cocky? I can be both
Q. I'm a bit stuck. I don't want anyone to answer 'just be yourself', because it isn't that simple. I'm only 18 and still haven't really discovered myself. Sometimes I can be bubbly and confident [if perhaps a little annoying], and other times, deadly ...
A. 5 August 2011: Had a really cocky guy in my class. When I first laid eyes on him I was impressed: jet black hair, wolf blue eyes, dimples, the whole package. You'd expect all the girls to flock to him like flies on shit, but his cocky attitude turned them off, ... (read in full...)
I have lost weight and my breasts look terrible! Help!
Q. Please, i have this problem that is bothering me so much. It may only be aesthetics but its really getting my down. I have always had big breasts, although they have always been in proportion to my frame. They have never been pert, nor have i ever ...
A. 4 August 2011: Don't worry about them too much. I lost a lot of weight in a short time as well and suffered the same problem. So I decided to stay on the weight I was for a while to see what happened. While doing that I was doing more weight exercises for my chest ... (read in full...)
I have Xeroderma Pigmentosum, do I have the right to fall in love?
Q. i suffer from Xeroderma Pigmentosum or XP. Its an incurable disease that deals with UV rays. I can never go in the sun, and if i do i literally burn. My disease at most has a limit of twenty years, which means in most cases a person who has XP lives ...
A. 3 August 2011: Well girl, seems like a great guy! You won't have to cross the hurdle about your condition now that he knows about it, so now it's time to just sit back, relax and enjoy yourself! This guy is coming to meet YOU so be yourself.
When talking,... (read in full...)
I have Xeroderma Pigmentosum, do I have the right to fall in love?
Q. i suffer from Xeroderma Pigmentosum or XP. Its an incurable disease that deals with UV rays. I can never go in the sun, and if i do i literally burn. My disease at most has a limit of twenty years, which means in most cases a person who has XP lives ...
A. 2 August 2011: Ofcourse you deserve love, honey! We never know when we die. Though you have a rough estimate because of your illness, why should you be denied love? A healthy person with a boyfriend may die tomorrow in a traffic accident. That didn't stop them ... (read in full...)
14 year old guy never had a girlfriend
Q. I got a question. I don't usually compare myself to others at all but, all around me I see guys my age with girlfriends. They have girlfriends and had. While I haven't even had one yet. I don't look bad and I've got a pretty good personality. But I ...
A. 2 August 2011: Yes it's normal! Don't worry about it. I didn't get interested in that until I was 17 and even then it took me a while to get one and I'm not ugly. You're just starting out, don't worry about following the herd. Don't go looking for a girlfriend to ... (read in full...)
Everybody hates my hair!
Q. I'm not really sure if this a a newsworthy question but I could use some advise. I'm, black, 21 and in college (living at home) and I live in Jamaica and I'm currently growing my hair but for some reason everybody wants me to cut it. In Jamaic...
A. 2 August 2011: As a woman I'm dealing with this too. My hair is at my butt and people get on my case about it all the time. Thing is, some of these girls spend 500 bucks on hair extensions. My hair is all natural and well taken care of. So in my opinion, if you ... (read in full...)
Should I feel ok about my fiance telling me to put on some weight?
Q. should i feel ok about my fiance telling me to put on some weight and try do something about it or should i let her deal with my nature of being skinny? really like her but being under lot of pressure by her. is it right that skinny and not skinny ...
A. 31 July 2011: I'm always a bit wary of BMI calculators because they hold nothing in account, but your weight does sound low for your height. Like Cerberus said, go to a doctor to confirm as none of us here are medical experts.
Also, can you tell us what you... (read in full...)
I'm a 21 year old male virgin and I feel so pressured to lose it.
Q. Hi, I'm 21 soon to be 22 and I'm still a virgin. For the most part I'm OK with it 90% of the time but the other 10% is hard to deal with. Growing up I was usually the last of the bunch to do certain things (driving, dating, etc.) and I still am and ...
A. 31 July 2011: I went through the same at college, everyone talking about sex and asking around and I never participated in those discussions. When they asked about me, I told them the truth and shrugged. When people tried to make a big deal out of it, I calmly ... (read in full...)
Should I feel ok about my fiance telling me to put on some weight?
Q. should i feel ok about my fiance telling me to put on some weight and try do something about it or should i let her deal with my nature of being skinny? really like her but being under lot of pressure by her. is it right that skinny and not skinny ...
A. 29 July 2011: At your age, you'll fill out eventually by yourself. My cousin is 27 and until recently he's been thin as a pin. He could eat whatever he wanted, he wouldn't gain weight. Right now he's gotten a bit broader in the shoulders and such but he's still ... (read in full...)
Stick it out? Or end things now?
Q. Hey, I need some advice on whether I should stick things out in my current relationship or end things now, because I feel I am starting to fall out of love with my bf. We've been together 10 months, and had both been single for a year before meet...
A. 29 July 2011: Thanks for the follow up, OP. Well, that's rich. He wants you to keep up a happy front while YOU are the one who is hurting. He should be trying to cheer you up and support you. Seriously talk to him. You don't have to accept what he wants.
... (read in full...)
Am I being a drama queen? I threw him about because of his flirting with this girl and his dream about having sex with her!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for over a year. a few months a go this girl he used to work with text him saying her boyfriend dumped her she'd sent it to her phone book slagging him off so didnt think anything of it .then a few days later when he ...
A. 28 July 2011: You're not a drama queen. I would have done the same. The lies, the texts, the e-mails/facebook messages and now the dream. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already emotionally cheating on you with her and I think that if you'd stay it wouldn't take ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for 17 y/o to date a 15 /yo??
Q. Is it ok for a 17 year old (like me ) to date a guy whos almost 15?......
A. 28 July 2011: Well OP, when a 15 year-old guy has something going on with a 17-year old girl he is often seen as a stud. After all, he was able to romance someone 2 years older than him. I know when I was still in highschool it was a pretty big deal. Then again, ... (read in full...)
Lack of intimacy with my boyfriend is really hurting....
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I'm a very physical person, he's not. that presents a problem. He will not have sex with me for a variety of excuses, the most commonly used one is he's afraid to get me pregnant (I'm on...
A. 27 July 2011: At first I thought that maybe it was because you're not 'legal' yet, but since you both already had sex before you got together, that one can be crossed off the list. I think I would talk to him and ask what is going on.
Simply tell him you've n... (read in full...)
Is getting a nose job a good idea?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but i really really need some advice as to what to do and how to deal with what people will think. I know i shouldn't care about others opinions but i really can't help it!! Basically, since i was about 11 i...
A. 26 July 2011: I would wait. Like Nime said your face is going to change some more. I look different now than I did at 18 (I'm 23). My cheekbones are more pronounced and my facial shape has developed. So from that POV I would wait until you're about my age before ... (read in full...)
Do women look too ?
Q. A question that will ignite a debate, we men although may have the most beautiful wife/girlfriend but we keep on looking at other women, we don't get enough! although we may be having the best woman...Are women like us in nature, do they look at men ...
A. 26 July 2011: Lets be honest here: we all appreciate beauty. Women in particular are very sensitive to that kind of thing. Look at all the tumbler accounts with 'inspiration' pictures of pretty girls/women that female teens have up and running. That said, for ... (read in full...)
His debt is ruining our lives and relationship....what should I do?
Q. My partner is in SO much debt and is very very stressed. We don't go out and we don't do anything as there is no money. he is self employed so his income in quite low, and whatever income he has goes on paying back the debt and other bills. I ha...
A. 26 July 2011: I would leave. Look, this is how your future is going to be if you stay with him. You just got a glimpse and you don't like it. You'll get older, he'll get older and at one point you might resent yourself for staying with him because his debt drags ... (read in full...)
My sexuality is not up for debate, but one family member has said such awful things in front of my partner!
Q. Am needing some advice, so hoping someone out there can help. I’m currently in a long term lesbian relationship. My partner and I are very happy together and moved in together about 4 months ago and things are still going well. Everyone in my ...
A. 25 July 2011: I honestly don't see the problem. Tanya stated her opinion. You don't agree with it. Well, that's that, isn't it? Don't make a big fuss out of it. Everyone else wants you to be happy and has accepted your sexual orientation, why get worked up ... (read in full...)
I feel like my skin is awful and I can't let anyone see it without makeup
Q. Okay I've never talked to anyone about this before, here it goes. It's weird.. So, I hate letting people see me in natural lighting. Like out side and stuff, or even in a really well lite room. I hate my skin, my complexion is horrible. I have...
A. 23 July 2011: Well what really helped clearing my own skin was cleaning up my diet and working out. Creams and such will only go so far as they only penetrate the first layer of the skin. Eat more veggies, more protein, less junk. Work out 2 or 3 times a week. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to choose between him and my dad
Q. I accidently sent my bf a text that was meant for my sister, discussing what my dad had said about my boyfriend and how i should take a university place at the other end of the country because it would get me away from my boyfriend. and I ended up ...
A. 23 July 2011: I agree with Cerberus on this one. When someone forces you to choose, that's when you should let them go. Your father loves you, looks out for you and is concerned about your future. He has been there your entire life whilst your boyfriend has only ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to expect the man who wants to marry me to treat me to a gift once-in-a-while?
Q. I’m trying to figure something out concerning my relationship with my boyfriend of two years. We don’t live in the same town and see each other at weekends. We get along well, he does housework, he cooks, he calls me in his lunch hour just to say h...
A. 21 July 2011: There are two options:
#1. Talk to him about it
#2. Do something about it
1. Really sit down with him and tell him what's bothering you. I would suggest not to accuse him straight out because he'll get defensive. It could be that he views his... (read in full...)
Does she want to have an affair with me?
Q. Hi Cupids. I am a married man and I am friendly with a married woman whose daughter is in gymnastics with my two daughters. Recently she has been confiding in me about how her husband and her don't do things together and that she is unhappy...
A. 20 July 2011: I wouldn't touch this with a ten feet pole. Keep it safe, whatever her intentions or your attraction to her. Simply say you feel sorry her marriage isn't what she wants it to be and that maybe she should talk to her husband about this and try to ... (read in full...)
I feel like my skin is awful and I can't let anyone see it without makeup
Q. Okay I've never talked to anyone about this before, here it goes. It's weird.. So, I hate letting people see me in natural lighting. Like out side and stuff, or even in a really well lite room. I hate my skin, my complexion is horrible. I have...
A. 20 July 2011: If your skin is causing this much trouble, I think it would be advisable to get treatments done at the beauty parlor. They have anti blemish/acne treatments that significantly improve the appearance of your skin. It's expensive, but I've seen good ... (read in full...)
| *averick494's friends
These are mutual friends, so *averick494 has
added them and they have added *averick494!
|
