| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
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My wife was a teenage slut - accepting her promiscuous past
Q. I just wanted to post this due to all the posts re girls with promiscuous pasts. Here is my story. I fell head over heels for my now wife when she was 22 and I 23. Our relationship progressed and soon we both realized we were utterly in love ...
A. 27 June 2010: Anonymous, though you certainly have a point, do you think any of the people listed in your examples would come forward with their secrets like the wife did? I think this is where the difference lies. I mean, admitting what she did takes some n... (read in full...)
My best friend doesn't ever want to talk to me again! Help!
Q. over the last three years i have had the same bestfriend. he was there for me through everything, even helped me out of depression, helped me through all my family problems. I have never been that close to anyone in my entire life, he was my only ...
A. 24 June 2010: Thanks for following up. I agree with groovymoving. My first thought when I read your post was that someone else is behind it. It's just out of character for anyone to do this. I wouldn't give up on him just yet.
Go over to his house, even if ... (read in full...)
How should I feel about my husband looking at other girls?
Q. My hubby recently told me he likes to look at other womens bodys and prettiness when he is with his friends they stare at girls and comment and when with me i see hem look at women also what should i do and how should i feel (confused here) ...
A. 24 June 2010: Well, as human beings we can´t help being interested in the opposite sex (or the same sex, whatever floats your boat), whether we´re single or taken.
But there's a line.
You need to define that line for you both, so you're on the same wavelen... (read in full...)
How do I get back that sexual attraction I first felt for him?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 10 years. I seem to have lost my sexual attraction for him. I just cant seem to get it back. I dont know what to do. How do I get that feeling back?...
A. 23 June 2010: Well, attraction depends on several things.
After you get settled in your relationship, you usually get 'easy'. By that I mean you don't feel bad anymore on your off days walking around in the house in your snug pants, hair in a bun, no make-up.... (read in full...)
My best friend doesn't ever want to talk to me again! Help!
Q. over the last three years i have had the same bestfriend. he was there for me through everything, even helped me out of depression, helped me through all my family problems. I have never been that close to anyone in my entire life, he was my only ...
A. 23 June 2010: Your post doesn't give us much insight as of why he would want to cut contact like that in such an impersonal manner. I would almost guess his jealous girlfriend got naughty and sent you this text, because it's very uncommon to end friendships like ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend takes pictures of other girls! should I forgive him?
Q. I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been taking pictures of other women. Most recently while we were at the beach he took about 20 pictures of young women from all angles in their bikinis. I'm very upset over this but he says it will ...
A. 23 June 2010: Perverts like this man thrive on the understanding of today's society. They protect themselves with 'the benefit of the doubt.' We people always want to think the best of ourselves and others we've come to like. That's why when people do really bad ... (read in full...)
Which country would you choose to live in? Germany or the US?
Q. I know this is not a relationship question, but I am just wondering which one would you choose US or Germany. I am 22yrs old and I have lived in US most of my life, but I am currently living in Germany. I have family in both countries and I think th...
A. 22 June 2010: Haha, I could say "US!" or "Deutschland!" It wouldn't matter.
The truth is we can't decide for you. What makes either country special to us is because of our own experiences. I for an instance, LOVE Rio de Janeiro because I lived there for a wh... (read in full...)
My wife was a teenage slut - accepting her promiscuous past
Q. I just wanted to post this due to all the posts re girls with promiscuous pasts. Here is my story. I fell head over heels for my now wife when she was 22 and I 23. Our relationship progressed and soon we both realized we were utterly in love ...
A. 22 June 2010: @veronika: I don't see anything wrong with the word, because let's be honest: from the description, that's what she was. A slut. No need to be pretty about it. Besides, the term slut (to me) doesn't apply to women only. Many male sluts out there. In ... (read in full...)
Whenever my friend is ill, she disappears. What to do?
Q. My close friend of mine is carrying a lot of baggage. She's been to a psychologist, a shrink, has borderline and a handful of other mental disorders (written down on what she calls her "declaration of insanity). Anyway, despite all this she's a good ...
A. 22 June 2010: Thank you for your insight. I will send her a card. There isn't much else I can do short from showing up on her doorstep out of the blue. I've considered it, but if she really wants to be alone it is only going to be counterproductive, I figured. ... (read in full...)
Do girls find muscles attractive?
Q. do girls find muscles attractive? cuz when ever i go out with a couple of my buddies who work out, i always find girls checking them out, so yeah.. what do you girls find attractive?...
A. 21 June 2010: I have to be honest here.
I like my men to be toned and lean. I draw the line when he can´t look normal in normal clothes anymore. I don't like those veiny, bulging muscles. Muscles need a purpose. Pumping them up like an inflated balloon ... (read in full...)
Are double standards ever fair?
Q. Here's one I think people might actually have strong opinions on.... Recently an old friend came back into my life. My boyfriend was thrilled for me when I told him, and was just as excited for me as I was since I REALLY enjoy their company. Y...
A. 19 June 2010: As he admitted he's attracted to his female friends, he figures all men are like that. And hell it might be true. I think this is what's bugging him: you have known this friend for a long time. This friend is a guy, who may like you back more than ... (read in full...)
Help me to get abdominal muscles please?
Q. *OP's Original Title* I am a 18 year old male. I have tried to look around for tips/routines/exercises around various searches on the internet but cant seem to find anything that isn't "register" or "pay"... Does anybody know, do or have don...
A. 19 June 2010: There isn´t an exerisise that gets you abs. Your body doesn´t work that way. You could do a 1000 situps a day and they still wouldn´t show.
The only way to get abs to show is to reduce your bodyfat. You do that by:
1.healthy eating. Eat a lo... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I need space without hurting his feelings?
Q. Dear cupid, i have been with my boyfriend for a year and we've become extremely dependant on eachother. We're with eachother 24\7 and if we're not, we constantly text. But now i feel like, if i've text him just to say hi or whatever, he'll strike u...
A. 15 June 2010: My opinion is and has always been that relationships are supposed to enrich life, not replace what is already established. Everyone feels trapped in a 24-7 relationship as you describe. I would, anyway. I think your bf is very insecure and needs ... (read in full...)
Was he following me or was I being overly cautious?
Q. Sorry this isn't a love question but I need some answers.. I usually walk to work and back and this evening I got slightly scared because I thought I was being followed... This guy was on his bike in front of me he the spun his bike around a...
A. 14 June 2010: I think there's a thin line between paranoia and healthy caution. Don't forget, women are practically hammered every day with exhibitions of disturbing behaviour by the news.
My friend, for an instance will demand to be picked up when it gets dar... (read in full...)
Is this considered part of an eating disorder?
Q. okay, well this isn't a relationship question, it's on diet and I really need help from any professional or not even a professional! Anyway, basically, our end of year ball is coming up and I have a black silk dress I really want to look good in!...
A. 13 June 2010: Okay, expert here. Had anorexia from age 16, and it all started because of the same 'innocent' thing you're doing now. You're already exhibiting behaviour that comes with people who have ED's. You have forbidden foods, you pick at them, you have ... (read in full...)
Why is the porn argument so one-sided?
Q. Why is it that when a woman is hurt by porn use it's always about why she should change herself to accept it and how it's her fault that it bothers her and how basically, it's all about the sacrifices she needs to make to accommodate him? Why is it ...
A. 11 June 2010: I disagree with Cerberus. Comparing Twilight and those other things to some blow up doll doing the dirty on your screen is pretty off.
Also, it's stereotypical. I'm a girl and I hate Twilight. I'm also not going to drool in front of my boyfrien... (read in full...)
My voice sounds like a female's voice! Is there a solution for this?
Q. i am 24 years male, when i am talking on the phone every one understands my voice like female on phone and my friends also told that my voice sounds like female voice.is there a solution for this problem to change my voice into male voice...
A. 11 June 2010: Hormones is the only answer. Transgendered women look and sound like men because of the hormones they get. I think you should speak to your doctor about this. He might be able to help.
That said, if he doesn't/can't help you you should accept w... (read in full...)
Is taking a paternity test of my brother's child crossing the line? I have evidence to suggest his girlfriend has been lying for 7yrs!
Q. Okay this is a weird story and question but here it goes. When my brother was 16 he got this girl pregnant and she was 22 at the time (which i find very gross). No one in my family knew the child or even the girl for that matter existed until the ...
A. 11 June 2010: I get why you're pissed. The thing is, this is out of your control. You can throw yourself into this mess with the noblest intentions and noone will be happy because of it. Instead of concentrating on the woman, why not think of this kid he thin... (read in full...)
Why is this girl acting so nervous around me?
Q. Whenever I talk to her she looks very unsure of herself and doesn't say much other than yes or no. I have talked to her while she's at her locker and she has dropped her books 3 times so far as if I've startled her. She never tries to prolong...
A. 8 June 2010: Oh boy, she likes you alright. She's probably cursing her nerves everytime she's around you, hence the awkward and sometimes contradicting behaviour. She just doesn't know how to behave around you and is afraid to mess up and make a fool of herself. ... (read in full...)
Step-sister making moves on me, but I only see her as a sister!
Q. Okay, first I gotta give a little background. My mum died when I was real little (I'm talking like 2) and my dad remarried within about a year and half or something. The woman who he got married had a kid too, lets call her Steph, who was about a ...
A. 8 June 2010: You've had sound advice so far. I'll try and provide some advice from Steph's perspective, as I've been in a similar situation.
When I was 16 I was head over heels in love with my nephew. I practically grew up with the guy and I had always b... (read in full...)
I'm tired all the time! What's going on?
Q. i don't sleep well at night..i take sleeping pills at times and still don't get a good night sleep. I don't ever sleep a 5-6 hours straight without waking up. After work i am just happy to come home and take a nap. Naps are where i get my best ...
A. 6 June 2010: I happen to be an expert on this because 1 year ago, I was in the same boat. I couldn´t sleep for days in a row. Literally not sleep. I remember because I checked my watch and there weren´t any gaps in time when I could have dozed off. Like you ... (read in full...)
The real 25 year old virgin!
Q. Hello, So there it is. A year ago I thought I'd be alright by now, but nothing has actually changed so far. To sum it up: I'm a 25 year old guy who has never been in a relationship. Needless to say - I'm a virgin as well. I've read some ...
A. 5 June 2010: I'm also a virgin. I'm 20 and I'm a girl. And no, I do not think anything is wrong with you. I also live at home, because that's easier than paying rent and working two jobs to make it. I'm working hard on my degree, with a small modeling job on the ... (read in full...)
I betrayed a confidence; how do I bring it up?
Q. I've got a very good friend that happens to be a lot younger than me. He's in his twentys and I am in my in my fortys. I don't consider him a kid but as as someone on my own level. I am acquainted with his mother who is actually closer to my ...
A. 5 June 2010: It depends. Did you tell this woman it was confidential and that you didn't want it to get out? If so, she violated that promise. Tell her you will not ask for her advice again.
Now, onto your friend. You can do two things:
1. Let it run it's ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I cheat; why don't I just do it?
Q. I´ve been married for nine years but together for 16. Since the beginning of our marriage, and because of our personalities we´ve fought often but have remained together (this mostly because before we got married I cheated on him once, and he found...
A. 5 June 2010: You're setting yourself up this way. Cheating is always a no-no in a relationship and it always will be. It will always be hard to completely trust someone again if they've betrayed you before. And if you cheat on him now, he'll be right not to ... (read in full...)
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