A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got married recently and I really regret inviting an ex colleague of mine which I thought was a friend!Since I've been back from honeymoon all she has done is slag off my wedding, not only to me but to some mutual friends and god knows who else.I understand she is entitled to her opinion but she has really upset me with her comments.She started off by complaining that my church service was to long- it was 1 hour and I'm a catholic it's to be expected. She whinged about this before the actual ceremony and I told her if she didn't want to come to the service then that was fine she could go directly to the reception.She then moaned that the venue was to far away - it took 20 minutes from the church and she wasn't even driving, her boyfriend was!Also she drives to work 5 days a week which takes 30-40 minutes so I have no idea why my venue was far!She complained about the photographer not taking enough photos with friends in, her main course was cold, the toilets were to small, the dj didn't play any good songs etc...The final straw was yesterday when she casually mentioned her friend who is getting married soon "has the best bride dress ever" and "will be the most beautiful bride". She was saying this deliberatly to upset me which it has.I had a go at her and basically said I was sorry if my day was such a dissapintment and that it's her opinion that thankfully no else shared. She then looked shocked and denied it all!!I'm not bragging but I did look nice, I had lots of compliments and my wedding cost nearly £30000 so it wasn't cheap and I had a beautiful venue and service.What is her problem? I've never seen this side to her and I don't think it's jelousy as she doesn't believe in marriage.??????Thanks for reading guys xLou x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): Thankyou all for replying& I do feel better for having a moan!
She isn't married but her boyfriend wants to get married& she doesn't. They live together& her thoughts on marriage is that it's just a piece of paper& a waste of money.
Both her& her bf earn good money& have a nice house& she isn't ugly, in fact we look similar, dark hair & eyes, same build etc... So that's why I don't believe she is jelous as she could have what I have if she wanted.
If she bitches again I'm going to calmly explain it was my day& my choice& if she ever gets married she can do things her way& that I don't want to hear her bitch or our friendship is over!
Thanks again guys
Lou xxx
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 Let me guess.... SHE is not married herself?
Forget about her. If she slags any more on your wedding, tell her to SHUT up and find another topic. Poor btich is green with envy, that is for sure.
And honestly, I would stop having anything to do with her, she doesn't sound like much of a friend and she seems utterly toxic. YIKES!
Oh and.... ~Congratulations!~
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 September 2010):
 I tend to agree with the others. This woman is madly and utterly consumed by her own jealousy. She deep down thought you were very beautiful on the day and that eats away at her because she lacks self confidence. If she was a happy, contented person then she wouldn't need to lash out in such a superficial, child-like way. She feels awful that you are now a happily married woman who had a beautiful wedding day. She is secretly wishing it was her. If she is single then all those microwave dinners for one have poisoned her mind! Even if she thought your wedding was bad, she could have left early instead of enjoying your catering arrangements. If she really disagrees with marriage then she was a hypocrite to attend your big day, don't you think? I would feel sorry for the woman. Obviously she must be a very sad person deep down to be so nasty. This is probably why she is 'against marriage'...she probably thinks she isn't good enough to meet anyone who would want to marry her (perhaps an accurate perception). What you have to remember is that you had a lovely day and that is really all that matters.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 To hell with that bitch.Congratulations on your wedding!!! It was your special day, and you enjoyed it...thats all that matters. People out there will say whatever they feel like, and most of it will be mean...and get this...if someone is not happy themselves, they cant bear the thought of seeing others happy either.This woman obviously couldn't stand your fairytale wedding (touch wood) and thats why she is spitting venom now. Why do you even care so much? Let her say whatever she wants. You know what the truth is. And please do not react to what this female says. She probably WANTS you to feel bad and hurt and react. Just ignore her...thats the best treatment for such people. You don need to explain or justify anything to her...of all people. Dont give her any attention.Come on...you are the new bride!!Enjoy your life..leave these people in the dustbin where they belong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): It was YOUR wedding, not hers. She just sounds like a jealous bitch, ignore her. I'm sure your wedding was lovely.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (2 September 2010):
"What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt." ~Nine Inch Nails - Hurt That's jealousy rearing it's ugly head. When it comes to inner beauty she is absolutely hideous person. Like others said, she gave herself away. She does care about marriage and she can't accept you're happiness so she does the only thing she can do: bring you down to her level of misery.I wouldn't give her any attention. And I mean literally: pretend she's invisible, don't talk to her anymore, don't react when she talks to you, look through her. That's the only treatment she deserves. Any moment of your time spent on this woman is time wasted. I did this once when a 'friend' double-crossed me when I needed her the most. It is more effective than any talk will ever be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): Ouch, I'm not surprised you're hurt!
First of all, your wedding was YOUR day, not an entertainment put on to amuse others. It doesn't matter what other people thought as long as you enjoyed it. If you wanted a service that lasted for 3 hours and included a carnival, you'd be well within your rights and your friends should be happy to come along and celebrate with you in your way. I think it's deeply selfish, not to mention disrespectful of your religious convictions, for her to complain about the length of the time in church. However, I think you should have the courage of your convictions: you had the beautiful day YOU wanted in accordance with your beliefs and convictions, and whatever she thinks is absolutely irrelevant. It wasn't her day - she was there as a guest, and she has been abusing your hospitality by badmouthing the event in public like that.
However, rather than feeling angry or hurt by her comments, I think you should feel proud of doing things your way and a bit sorry for her for being so green-eyed. She's clearly eaten up by jealousy of one kind or another (maybe of the marriage, maybe of the fact that you spent a lot of money, maybe of the fact that you looked amazing...). That's not something to get cross or hurt about, but something to pity. Whatever her reason for behaving this way, she is clearly eaten up by negativity of one kind or another (not to mention egotism - I've never heard a guest complain because there weren't enough pictures of them before!). Don't let that affect you and your positive memories of your special day.
If this comes up again, maybe sit her down very quietly and calmly and explain that people's tastes differ. Tell her that you realize that your idea of the perfect wedding won't be everyone's cup of tea, but that it was your day and you did it in your own fashion. Say that you invited her because you wanted her to be able to celebrate something very special with you that wasn't about the ceremony or the flowers or the meal or the DJ but about the relationship itself. Explain, very gently, that you find her negative comments a bit hurtful, because you wanted her to enjoy a unique rite of passage with you. Do this calmly and show your pain just a little, and I am sure she will be extremely embarrassed, guilty, and apologetic. You may even find that she opens up about what's really bothering her, and that your friendship becomes stronger than ever.
You can't win 'em all, though, and if she continues to be an idiot about this, the best thing you can do is to ignore her and get on with being happy in your own fashion! Seriously, this kind of negativity is not worth your time!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 She claims she doesn't believe in marriage.
Seems like her emotions have betrayed her on that one though.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 September 2010):
If there was ever a woman who was jealous, this is the one. Take absolutely no notice. She's utterly jealous.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): Well, jealousy is a strong force.
You say you don't think it's jealousy as she doesn't believe in marriage.
Chances are she really envies you and your husband, and she cannot very well admit this to herself, so she is basically in denial, proclaiming she doesn't believe in marriage.
The best thing you can do here is probably to be as nice and understanding to her as you can be and just stay away from the subject; chances are it hurts her more than you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 It could still be jealousy. Even if she doesn't believe in marriage, clearly it is not your husband she envies you! Or else she would have complained about him and not everything else. She could be jealous of your dress, your beauty, your money, your happiness.
Who knows why she is acting like such a prick. It could very well be jealousy, or that she just has bad taste. Dismiss her as a friend since she finds it so easy to throw crap about the most important day to you. If she had any respect for you she wouldn't be saying these things, so clearly she is not a good friend. Forget about her.
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